senselessness

honk-shoo

2007-02-13T14:35:00.000-05:00

Find your own pose!

crap babbled and the new year

2007-01-02T14:06:00.000-05:00

Not everything you feel in 2007 will be new, but you'll have a lot more novel emotions than in a typical year. Not everything you do will be creative and imaginative, but I suspect you'll often be improvising your way smartly through experiences that have no precedent. You may not be relentlessly reinventing yourself, but I bet you'll be imitating your old shticks and tricks less than you ever have before.

Indeed!

Without going into the mind-numbing specifics, someone I considered to be a good friend made a comment to me not long before this horoscope appeared that was spoken harmlessly, but was damaging. Initially I was bothered by this, but realized that I portray myself in such a way that might lead people to think untrue things. I let people know me how I want them to know me, and if I can't figure out the "how", I don't bother. I realized that there are others who might agree with the statement in question. They don't know any better! I surely don't want to know the answer to that...but how I act affects people's view of me, whatever that view is. I'm currently in no position to take offense. Lesson learned, though. And this horoscope showing up when it did, well, that solidifies it.

But enough about stuff that only makes sense to me!

It's a new year, and though I've established a mild outline of resolutions for the year, I have a general idea what I'm doing. Exercise and diet are first and foremost again, but with impending nuptuals, I'm all the more driven. No McDonalds in 2007! Seriously. It's the only establishment that poses a threat, as any other fast food chain is at least fifteen miles away, if not more. I'll be reading more, again, and cleaning on a semi-regular basis. There are other things, but I've yet to formulate a plan. Once I do, though, be sure I'm going to make a bulleted list for my own and others' enjoyment.

Happy New Year!

a christmas gift?

2006-12-26T12:58:00.000-05:00

Our northbound Christmas proved to be successful. We stopped in to see assorted members of the George family, ate a lot (Georges are feeders. You eat or you take the food with you)...pretty good afternoon. We headed to the Stovers from there, and we ate more and relaxed and it was quite nice. It all went quite well, and we received way too many gifts, per usual. My mom and her new boyfriend, Sherwin, and Lorrie and Peter stopped up for an hour on Christmas Eve, and unloaded a few gifts (which confused me to no end, because we're supposedly having Christmas in Sanford on the 27th). Christmas Day we headed back to Jay around 11:00, and got home with time enough to lounge around and do nothing before I headed in to work.

Two of the Ebay dresses arrived while we were gone. I also got an interesting piece of mail from the University of Maine. I don't know what to make of it. Here:

Dear Ann-Marie:

The Admissions office forwarded your application to me and indicated that you didn't have to apply through that office since you've done that in the past.

Please fill out the enclosed Returning Student Data sheet and return it to me. Since you plan to begin classes in the Fall 2007, I will process the form early March. When you list your intended major as Child Development/Family Relations, please indicate also if you want to Early Childhood Education option which leads to teacher certification, grades K-3.

Sincerely, -.

So. I'm not sure if this is just a different application sheet, if it means I am in fact going back in the fall, if "processing the form (in) early March" means they'll consider letting me back then, or if I'm officially back in the system at that point. I should call and ask. But part of me wonders if I'm supposed to know this already, by some blatantly obvious piece of information that's been provided, that maybe I just haven't interpreted correctly. Jeremy seems to think this is good. I am relieved that I won't have to pay the application fee. I refuse to think anything else on the subject. I do think it's funny that I got to open this potentially promising letter on Christmas Day.

I desperately need to clean today. Coming back from two days away from our apartment, I was fully aware of the mild stench of unwashed dishes. And though clutter doesn't technically stink, it was overwhelming. It looks like Christmas accidentally landed in the trash can right before exploding. I'm usually unfazed by some disorganization, but this has reached a new level. Orange, to borrow from Homeland Security. Is orange a moderate threat? I wouldn't call it red, but I might call it deep sunset, if you know what I mean. Dishes are definitely on the agenda. And, luckily, tomorrow is Trash Day.

so's you know

2006-10-19T11:57:00.000-05:00

I've been drawn back to Yahoo 360. It's the avatar, I tell you. I missed it and I love it. I'm sure I'll be back soon, as I can't seem to settle in one place for very long.

Is it pathetic how true-to-life that last statement was?

telebloggion

2006-09-14T17:34:00.000-05:00

Okay, I'm updating! I had valid reasons for not updating before now. To be blunt, I was depressed. I didn't feel like writing anything. Even if I could've mustered an ounce of enthusiasm, I wouldn't have had anything productive or healthy to share. Sometimes you have to be in a hole. I dug in deep, wallowed, rolled around a bit, and I'm over it. I'm feeling pretty good now, thanks. I have perspective...and a burning desire to talk about television.

The fall season is upon us! Colored leaves in the trees, sweaters coming out of storage, hot apple something-or-other making the kitchen smell homey (or, in my case, a festive candle and apple linen spray, $10, courtesy of my local Avon representative). With all that comes the new TV season. I've gone whole-hog this year. I've been reading, researching, comparing, contrasting, and other appropriate adjectives in regards to what I need to watch this season. This year in particular is going to be challenging. There are a slew of interesting-seeming shows starting, and I have vested interests in several returning shows. Combine this with the magic of DVR and the fact that shows I've neglected thus far are coming out on DVD and I get to try them out for free, I'm going to be a bigger couch potato than ever. Because you unwittingly demanded it: here, in all its glory, is a list of what I'm tuning in for this year:

SUNDAY
1) American Dad (FOX, 8:30)- First and foremost, if you have an awesome theme song, you've already partly won the battle. Secondly, if your comedy style is excessively mean in a very smart way, I'll have your babies. American Dad has planted it's seed for the season.

2) Family Guy (FOX, 9:00)- I was just has happy as anyone when they resurrected this show. But I quickly became bored with it, and stopped tuning in. It felt like it was trying too hard. Apparently sometime between last year and last Sunday's season premiere, they fixed something. The funny was back! It's earned its series recording for the immediate future (unlike The Simpsons, which - I'm sorry - is a little too hit-or-miss these days. Not that I won't watch every once in awhile...I just won't be devastated if I miss it).

3) Desperate Housewives (ABC, 9:00)- Until last week, I had maybe seen three episodes of this show. And it was kind of fun...but I didn't really give a crap about it. Three out-of-order episodes from the middle of a season does not a viewer make! I took out the first disc of the first season, and it's still fun. But now I have the foundation on which to build more fun, which is resulting in amusement, even laughter! I have a shitload of episodes to catch up on before attempting the third season, but I'm not dissuaded yet.

4) Brothers & Sisters (ABC, 10:00)- New to ABC this season, in the time slot recently vacated by Grey's Anatomy. I've not been able to learn much about this show. I'm trying it out firstly for Calista Flockhart (because, in case anyone who reads this doesn't know better, Ally McBeal was an obsession for me), and secondly because of a combination of Rachel Griffiths and Sally Field. Why not, right? If it sucks, I'll just stop watching.

5) Sunday Night Football (NBC, 8:00)- haha, just kidding!

MONDAY
1) The Class (CBS, 8:00)- It's getting decent reviews. From the creators of Friends and Mad About You! It's a third grade calss reunion! People grew up into zany characters! What doesn't sound promising about that?! Plus, I need something to do until...

2) How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 8:30)- I'll never be sure if the change was in me or within the show itself, but my first impression of "this show is obnoxious" quickly changed into "man, these guys are entertainingly relatable!" It's so much more than just Doogie and the Freaks & Geeks guy now.

3) Heroes (NBC, 9:00)- I'm not expecting to like this. Not that it sounds bad, but it's not the kind of show I generally get into. It's got Greg Grunberg going for it, though.

4) Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (NBC, 10:00)- Sometimes you KNOW you're going to like a show. Throw an awesome cast at me, an interesting premise, and then tell me that it's created and written by Aaron Sorkin. It's Christmas and my birthday and I won the lottery? Okay! Not to mention that Lauren Graham has a two-episode guest-starring story arc in October. You had me at hello!

TUESDAY
1) Gilmore Girls (The CW, 8:00)- Again, if you know me even slightly, you perhaps already know that I'm obsessed with how brilliant this show is. Last season wasn't exactly fantastic, but I haven't jumped ship yet. I want everyone to love this show. I will let you borrow my DVDs if it means you'll at least try it. Once you get into its groove, you'll find that there's not a smarter show on television.

2) Friday Night Lights (NBC, 8:00)- This show's being hyped by everyone and their brother (and Matt Roush, for whom I'd try any show once. Except Buffy. He was just plain wrong there). And it stars the guy who blew up in the post-Super Bowl episode of Grey's Anatomy. (the nicest looking pink dust on television, I say!)

3) Veronica Mars (The CW, 9:00)- Create a network expressly so you can schedule your show after Gilmore Girls to form a "cool girls' night" of television? I accept that. She solves mysteries, I hear. And her dad is the Just Shoot Me guy.

4) Boston Legal (ABC, 10:00)- David E. Kelley. Quirky law show. Provided I can catch up on what I've missed, I'm told I'll really like this show?

5) The Knights of Prosperity (ABC, 9:00)- Okay, so it's Donal Logue. That's not necessarily a bad thing. They're going to break into Mick Jagger's house...that's the plot. It was originally supposed to be Jeff Goldblum's house, which would've been great! Perhaps that was their first mistake? Entertainment Weekly says it might be the funniest new show of the season. That's worth a couple episodes of my time. I'm borderline optimistic.

6) Notes from the Underbelly (ABC, 8:30)- "One of the most surprising, sharpest pilots of the season" says Entertainment Weekly. Plus Rachel Harris. I'm going to have to stop watching something else by the time this show starts in November. I tell you now, it's not going to be Gilmore Girls.

7) The Unit (CBS, 9:00)- I didn't give a crap about this show until two things happened: 1) I learned the guy that created The Shield is the creator of this show too!!! and 2) the first season arrived at the store on Wednesday. So I'll watch the DVDs. We'll see what happens.

WEDNESDAY
1) Twenty Good Years and 2) 30 Rock (NBC, 8:00 and 8:30, respectively)- John Lithgow and Jeffrey Tambor. Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin. Why not?

2) Kidnapped (NBC, 10:00)- Jeremy Sisto. Timothy Hutton. Delroy Lindo. Kidnappings. In my book, that warrants attention.

THURSDAY
1) Ugly Betty (ABC, 8:00)- I doubt I need to say much, since they're promoting the hell out of it. Of course I'm going to watch it!

2) The Office (NBC, 8:30)- Why not My Name is Earl, you ask? I don't love it. Plus, it'll give me something to watch next summer, when everything else is a repeat. The Office, on the other hand, is a no-brainer. Forget the first episodes where they were trying to mirror the British one. It's a whole new show. Funny!

3) Grey's Anatomy (ABC, 9:00)- In the last two weeks, I've watched all 31 episodes of the series* (I got a credit card and ordered both seasons at an extremely reasonable price). It's a guilty pleasure without guilt. Lorrie forced me to watch this show, and I'm glad she did.

FRIDAY
1) Men in Trees (ABC, 9:00)- It wants to be Sex and the City-meets-Northern Exposure. I want that, too. Starring Crazy Anne Heche!

If that's not enough to keep me busy, I'll be forced to finally start jogging. I'd like to thank Adelphia (they're Time Warner now) for allowing me to record these programs - special thanks to my television, which will allow me to experience most of them in high def.

*(I'm trapped in my apartment alone all day. Pathetic or not, TV marathons help make it suck less.)

life lessons suck

2006-08-25T13:31:00.000-05:00

I've learned a valuable lesson today.

Our landlord decided that instead of charging rent weekly, he wanted us to start paying on the first of the month. So over the course of August, we've been in the process of switching over. The month's rent was divided into a per-day rate. On the 6th we were given a balance on what we owed for the rest of the month. We paid $250 of the $400-some-odd we owed, leaving us with a balance of $177-some-odd dollars. Arthur stopped by today, asking for more rent. "You're supposed to be four weeks in advance," he said. "But two weeks ago you told us you wanted us to start paying a month's rent on the 1st from now on, and you gave us a balance to pay to catch us up for August. I paid $250, and we owe $170-some-odd dollars." He was quiet for a minute, and said "let me go figure it out." He went to his apartment to do some math, and I scrambled to find the note he had written, where he spelled out what we owed, and I noted my payment. I was still looking when he came back.

"The difference is $213.69."

No, no it's not, I thought. I said "okay, just a second..." and ran upstairs to check my bank balance. Also to see if maybe the paperwork I now desperately needed was near the computer, or on my dresser. Nope. Not in the breadbox, not in the junk drawer. My only means of proving we didn't owe him this mystical additional $40 was nowhere to be found. I don't know if my face betrayed how angry and frustrated I was. I'm not sure if his math was wrong, or if he is blatantly trying to rob us blind, but it's my own fault. We've been very careless with filing important papers (and mail!). If we had a filing system in place, I wouldn't be paying extra rent right now. If I am, at that. Maybe his math was wrong before, and I would've benefitted from his error. We'll never know for sure, will we? I'm spitting mad, moreso at me than him (though I'm still pretty pissed at him - he took my moment of frantic searching and non-check-writing to restate the amount I needed to make the check out for.)

That's it.

epic

2006-08-23T10:31:00.000-05:00

I suppose it's time to write a new entry. Moderately interesting things have been occuring, but I haven't been able to find the writing mood. Not to mention that everytime I sit to compose e-mail, I wind up regretting it (somehow my e-interactions have been taking place in a brain space where intellect and humor used to sit). No mail is better than bad mail. Ditto when it comes to composing an entry.

I received a credit card. I applied for it because my prior "in case of emergency" option is illegal in most states. I've been doing nothing but paying down debts since last summer, which wound up helping my case considerably. They sent me notification of approval in advance of the card, saying the card itself would arrive a week later. After two and a half weeks, I started worrying. Maybe someone else received the card, and was currently financing a trip to Mexico with it! (Mexico, Maine, that is. No one would ever give me THAT much credit.) I figured I should call the company to make sure it had been sent, or to see if they changed their minds at the last minute, having realized that giving me credit is generally a bad idea. But the paperwork was nowhere. Turns out, Jeremy thinks he might have thrown it away. He has no memory of it, but says he frequently throws away mail that looks junky. I searched the apartment, just in case, and turned up nothing. So the new plan was to hope that the credit card would magically appear in the mailbox. After a few days of nothing, I gave up. I decided to sift through our old mail again, which generally gets stashed in the breadbox. I threw away old utility bills, outdated statements, saved a few necessary items. In the middle of the stack (sandwiched by a few March bills) was a blank envelope with my name on it. Unopened. Just for the hell of it, I opened it. It was MY CREDIT CARD! I never did find the old paperwork, but that's not important. It arrived! It felt like a miracle. We couldn't stop laughing about it.

With credit card in hand, Jeremy and I decided that getting a TV stand and maybe a bigger TV would be good...something to spruce up the place a bit, give it something resembling character (something other than the character of an ancient 19" sitting on top of a tupperware bin). So Saturday we headed to Target in Brunswick (because it's closer and better than the one in South Portland). They had a poor selection of TVs, and no stands that were worth the price they were asking. We thought maybe we'd each find a few necessities there, to warrant the trip. Not so much. Their clothes were nothing that would look humane on me, and Jeremy could find nothing he wanted. We settled on a stack of washcloths (very autumnal washcloths) and Desk Set on DVD. We went to Bookland from there, and left empty-handed. When did I become so fiscally responsible?? Jeremy treated for dinner at Ruby Tuesday afterward, then we headed home.

Sunday we went to Portland. "Maybe South Portland's Target will have a better TV selection," we said. "And we can check Best Buy!" We had an impossibly difficult day, in part because the weather was rainy and miserable. Of course, everyone has to go to the mall when it rains. Seriously, you'd think it was the weekend after Thanksgiving, it was so congested. Absolutely everyone in the mall was an asshole. It didn't help that Jeremy and I have become accustomed to a certain calm relaxity (I made it up, and I like it!) that comes with small town living. It made dealing with the mall that much worse. We quickly left, hoping that the closer it got to 6:00, the less insane it would get. We went to Burger King for lunch, where I can only guess that three people had called out. They had one girl on register, two people in drive-thru, and one person assembling the burgers. I'm sure they couldn't have predicted how busy it was going to be. We were in line for half an hour. I was never mad though, because anyone who's worked at a fast food establishment could feel this girl's pain. Not to mention, people in front of and behind us were loudly displeased. She was going to require the kindness and patience that we planned to give. From there we went to Target, to find nothing. Not much differentiation, it turns out. We quickly left, made a coffee pit stop, and ventured back to the mall. It still sucked, but significantly less. We entered Best Buy modestly. Something a little bigger, and something to put it on. There were a few moderately-priced items that weren't awful. But they looked really heavy. Clearly, we decided, there's no way that would fit in the car. Even if it did, we couldn't possibly get it into the apartment! So for funzies' sake, we looked at flat screen TVs. So light! Pretty, too. Sure, it's over twice as much as we planned to spend, but it comes in a box that looks like a briefcase! I could lift this with one hand! Juggle it! Living within our means only makes sense half the time! Suck it up, and buy something nice that'll last awhile. Think to the future! So we bought it. And a TV stand that would accommodate it. With Jeremy promising I wouldn't have to look at the first credit card statement, I charged the hell out of it. And you know what? It's awesome. Turns out, part of the cable that the cable company doesn't know we have includes high-definition channels (because in case it wasn't assumed, it's a high-def TV). We watched the rainforest in high-def, parts of Sin City, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and Ladyhawke (??!?) in high-def. We were riveted by PBS in high-def's documentary on Tupperware. And there's a show about beavers on Friday that will have to be watched. After we went to bed, all we could talk about was how beautiful the TV was, and the beautiful crap we watched on it. You could actually live in our living room now. I'd say it's worth every penny. After we pay it off, we're thinking we should get a bed.

dying sucks

2006-08-16T12:46:00.000-05:00

One of the first things I saw this morning was an AP article about Bruno Kirby's death. It has effectively ruined my day. He had leukemia I guess. That sucks. I'm going to stop there, because all my kind words for Bruno Kirby sound like jokes, and I'm not intending to be funny. So out of respect, I'm cutting myself off.

Know who else died this year? Peter Tomarken. His plane crashed into Santa Monica Bay. Much like John Ritter, he was a figure I noticed and admired for as long as I can remember. Maureen Stapleton died on the same day...March 13.

Anyway, all this death thought inspired a trip to Wikipedia for a list of who's died this year. LOTS of people are dying. Most of the names aren't familiar to me (which inspires a weird guilt in itself), but there are lots of them. And the causes are varied and, in a surprising number of cases, unfair. For Kirby Puckett, 45-year old baseball player, to die of complications from a stroke? Sucks. Lots of cancer, lots of "complications". Both Ohio's and California's oldest residents died at the age of 112 this year. Bill Cardoso, the guy who coined the word "gonzo", died in February at the age of 68. Doesn't say how. Darrin McGavin (star of Kolchak: The Night Stalker; also known as the dad in A Christmas Story) died at 83 of natural causes on February 25. Actually, I had no idea he was that old. But still, it sucks.

It's never who you'd expect. Rare is the day my mind would turn to Bruno Kirby, or how he's getting along, but I'd never think about the fact that he's going to die. I certainly wouldn't have expected him to die this soon. Someone who'd been long-suffering doesn't sting as much. Johnny Cash, for example (whose death, for me, was overshadowed by John Ritter's (Ritter died September 11, 2003; Cash died September 12)). But maybe Bruno Kirby was suffering. His misfortune just wasn't as newsworthy.

There's one less funny guy in the world. I'll leave it at that.

america's next top tart

2006-08-01T08:46:00.000-05:00

My work schedule this week consists of twelve-hour shifts at the Blueberry Festival, 6 a.m. to 6 p.m. on Friday and Saturday. In the meantime, I have nothing to do. Jeremy decided to work a "Hell Week", which basically means he's taking a shitload of overtime. So he leaves a lot earlier and stays a little later. Unrelated, but noteworthy: we ran out of oil on Saturday, and have reverted back to cold showers until we can get more oil and convince Arthur to come light our pilot light (or whatever it is that needs to be done to the furnace after it's gone bone dry). It's almost charming, since last year at this time we had the exact same problem (but with less cable). And luckily, the next couple of days run the risk of reaching 100 degrees, so cold showers are almost a blessing (while still being really annoying).

Last night I discovered an America's Next Top Model marathon, starting at 11:00 and ending at 9:00 tonight. I've never seen the show, but people who's opinions I tend to respect seem to enjoy it. So my tentative plan is to dress up like a model ("sluttily fashionable". And lots of eye makeup), and, with the poutiest mouth I can muster, watch it. I'm guessing this will be fun for the first four or five hours. By that point I'm hoping to be too hooked to stop watching. Dressing up for television is kind of fun. Sad, too. But that's never stopped me.

Time Warner Cable sent me a letter yesterday to inform me that they were taking over for Adelphia, my current cable provider. I'm not sure what will go into the changeover process, but I'm afraid they're going to realize that we're currently receiving WAY more cable than we're paying for, and will rectify the situation. Probably right before the new season of Real Time w/ Bill Maher (August 25)! I'm hoping they're as clueless as Adelphia. I also need to find out if their rates are different from what we currently pay. Of course, there's no way in hell I'm going to call and let them look at my account!

It's August. I'm already thinking about September, and how ready for it I am.

brunswick on the prairie

2006-07-28T11:54:00.000-05:00

It's funny how much one can learn from a show by concentrated viewing. I've been watching a lot of Little House on the Prairie these past couple of weeks. And tuning in regularly has allowed me something I can't ever remember experiencing - a season-long story arc. Sure, every episode has it's own thing going on, but they also have recurring points and themes. It never occured to me that Little House on the Prairie would bother. It seemed somehow different from most other programs. And I see it in a whole new light. I'm not sure what that light is saying, but I'm still riveted enough to keep recording episodes. I think we're somewhere in season five at the moment. Only a true fan, or the Hallmark channel, could confirm that with any authority. I'm also learning that every member of the cast is related to someone else. For instance, just this morning I learned that the actors that play Albert Ingalls and Andy Garvey are brothers! Know who else is related? Laura Ingalls and Willie Oleson - also siblings! Mrs. Garvey and Mrs. Oleson lived in the same neighborhood and occasionally cared for the same stray dog before working together on the show. The things you can learn from the internet, I tell you!

Yesterday I dropped Jeremy at work and spent the day in Brunswick. If you've never spent a day in an area you don't know that well without making a day's worth of plans, don't. I left Lewiston at 10:30, and got to the Target in Topsham before 11:00. I spent an endless-seeming thirty minutes perusing their wares, trying to kill some time before meeting up with Dan for lunch. I left Target with a shirt, a tiny flippy notebook, and a blank card. I drove around aimlessly, then sat parked and filled out the blank card. Lunch was fun (the coffee was excellent!), and I got to see Dan and Tori's maybe-new house. From there, I dropped Dan off, and attempted to head to Bath. My first time missing the turn, I wound up in Woolwich. I turned around only to miss another turn, and was well on my way to Arrowsic (have I mentioned, I have never heard of either of these towns?). I eventually found my way to "Historic Bath" and parked. I looked around a small bookstore, and was harassed about the environment (it was all fine and good until she found out I had no on-the-spot money to give). I found my way back to the car and tooled around the streets a bit. It was my understanding beforehand that there was a "Good Bath/Bad Bath" differentiation. After experiencing both, I'd have to describe it as "Tourist Bath/Crap Bath". I'm sure it's pleasant in the off-season, but I doubt I could live there.

From there, I went to Cook's Corner, to see if there was a store I could effectively kill another four hours in. I found Bookland, and managed to knock nearly two hours off the afternoon. I bought a book and a newspaper, and headed back to Maine St. in hopes of finding a place to get coffee and read. The one place I had in mind (Frosty's? Frostee's?) closed at 2:00. I walked a bit, and found nothing in the immediate area. So I got back in the car and drove further down, finding the Bohemian Coffee Shop (the only part of the name I'm sure of is "Bohemian"). Parked, went in, and promptly recognized one of the baristas as a spelling bee attendee (couldn't remember his name, and he didn't seem to recognize me, so I didn't bother saying anything). The other barista was surly, and ignored me while helping the two people behind me. Apparently, politely standing with cash in hand and an enthusiastic expression re: coffee isn't going to get you served. My bad, I forgot that enthusiasm isn't very bohemian! When everyone else was gone, the guy asked what I wanted. "Large coffee, please." Long pause..."Hot or cold?" "Hot" (I dropped the please, because it seemed to make him angrier). "$1.75". I paid, did the doctoring, and sat with the paper. I left ten minutes later. It was 4:00. I saw no other choice but another trip to Target (which, for perhaps the first time in my life, wasn't something I was looking forward to), and bought cups and socks. Twenty minutes, if that. I decided to just go back to Lewiston, and sit and read until Jeremy got out at 7:00. The Devil Wears Prada helped pass the time. (It was cheap, and I was curious - so far, so good). Jeremy got out, we went to the Tin Tin Buffet, where I ate way too many desserts, then proceeded home. For the most part, I couldn't call my day "successful", but I'm not dissuaded from a potential move.

More thunderstorming just started (this seems to be a daily occurrence - what's it all mean, Al?). More later.

when i die

2006-07-26T09:58:00.000-05:00

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

anger and perfection

2006-07-25T18:40:00.000-05:00

It's always hardest to write when there are things to write about. Not things of interest to the general public really, but things that would benefit my mental health to jot down. But since when has senility been any fun? In a nutshell, I've decided not to take the job. Not that anyone of power has brought it up since last time I wrote. Since being offered the assistant manager position, I've started really despising my job. Then I'd go home, and despise my life, only to go to bed and despise sleeping. And I couldn't justify or explain the anger. Nor could I pinpoint what had pissed me off so severely. The fact is, whether it makes sense or not, I've only stayed at this job because I haven't had any other options. The plan has always been to quit after I got a car. And, since the job requires me to have a car, staying doesn't make sense. People aren't going to understand not taking it for experience's sake, or just to make more money. But I can't be pissed off all the time. It's not worth it.

Okay. Better. Now, let's bullet the last month:
-found a car for Jeremy, but it didn't pan out. It would've been a '98 Dodge Stratus, gold in color. Liken it to a cardigan, if cardigans were drivable.
-went to Game Night at Jim & Jhawn's. Lost at Trivial Pursuit, had some good food and drink, and a fun time with friendly folks. And someone almost saw my hoo-hoo.
-decided to move to Brunswick area after all...but when? Fall?

Huh. I guess it's been a dull month for bullet-worthy news. I had another bulletable point, but it seemed a little too wordy for bulleting. Jeremy and I had a perfect day on July 19th. We started the day with candlepin bowling in Rumford. We were the only people there, and we bowled five strings a piece. We then spent a good fifteen minutes talking with Evie (EH-vee), the older lady who was working that afternoon. She directed us to the Free Shop in Mexico, where you go in, take stuff and leave. It's FREE! We gave a fifty cent donation, as not to be complete and total assholes, and came away with a couple shirts, a few books, and a Texas tin platter. We drove back home and grabbed swimsuits, and found a swimming area in Wilton, where we swam (go figure.). We had a late lunch out at the Chuck Wagon, the Livermore Falls restaurant that outdates any other local business in the area. Ribs were consumed, decor was appreciated, and we went home full. Later that evening our standing Project Runway guest came over to watch Project Runway. (there was no easier way to word that. sorry.) A perfect day.

life, right?!

2006-06-28T07:01:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was many things. Here, a list!

1) My 4 1/2th dating anniversary. Happy Dating!
2) One year ago yesterday, we left Washington. One year ago this morning, we were finishing a complimentary continental breakfast in Butte, Montana. Or was it Billings? CRAP! I think it was Butte. It must've been Butte.
3) Our plans changed.

Yeah. So Jeremy had called out of work yesterday...no fantastic reason, but we enjoyed a day together. We watched Hoosiers and Mask (both movies I'd never seen - can I say, I'm officially a fan of Gar). I got a phone call early yestreday afternoon from Tami, who requested I go see her at the store immediately. I figured maybe she had finally nailed down a raise amount (because my review was Monday...I did good...maybe 25 cents more per hour!). Apparently, our new district manager had stopped in for a surprise visit. The store fared quite well, actually. She told Tami that she made an assistant manager position for the Jay and Farmington stores to share. No revenue class jumping necessary, because each store would have the assistant no more than 20 hours per week.

Guess who Tami recommended for the position.

In the middle of July sometime, I'll be filling out paperwork, maybe passing a background check, taking a math test, and training a week in Waterville to become the Jay/Farmington Assistant Manager. I will get a hefty raise (I really want to say how much, but I'm learning it's classier not to), be working full time, have a benefits package I don't pay for, vacations, holidays, sick time! etc.

Of course, I was very excited. At first. By the time I got back to the apartment, I started realizing that this position might be the start of a lucrative career with Movie Gallery, the problem being that I've wanted to quit my job from the day I was hired. A feeling of having failed at life settled over me. If I take the job, will I ever be anything other than an ASM for a retail movie chain? It would virtually eliminate any chance to finish my degree (I'm not sure if what I've heard about credits expiring after 10 years is true or not, but fall of '07 will be a decade beyond my first semester). So we went for a drive, because driving helps. And we came up with a plan.

I'm going to accept the job offer. This means we're going to remain in Jay for awhile longer. In the meantime, I'm going to apply to Orono again, hopefully to enroll for the fall 2007 semester. If I get accepted, I'll have put in a year as ASM, two years total with the company, and can guiltlessly move to Orono to finish my degree. If they don't take me, then we'll see what happens. Maybe we'll move to Brunswick!

move on - i stopped thinking 17 degrees ago

2006-06-19T14:30:00.000-05:00

On this day in 1997, I graduated high school. Exciting stuff.

This past weekend was all about changed plans. There were several things we could've done. For one, camping. Camping was the reason I had the weekend off in the first place. Camping was also the reason we didn't attend our second weekend option: Liam's 1st birthday party. We did neither. But we managed to have a pretty cool (NOT literal - 90+ degrees and humid is not what I would call cool...figuratively or literally) weekend.

We were both up early on Saturday morning, and thought we'd hunt down a few yard sales in the area. Once we were in the car, we instead decided to head toward Rumford. There wasn't a lot to be seen on the 18 some-odd miles of US-2, but it was a nice drive. We eventually found ourselves in Mexico, at a library book sale. They had free coffee and doughnuts. Not a whole lot to offer bookwise, but I came away with two summerworthy reads (after two munchkins and a big cup of coffee, I had to buy something!) We continued to Rumford, where we found a church rummage sale in its last hours. Fill a bag for $2? HELL YES! We left with books, shirts, two VERY cool games, silverware, etc. From there we went to Rumford's Business District. Not a lot to do really, but it made for a nice walk. After that we went back to Mexico for lunch at The Covered Wagon. We were the only customers there. It was fantastic. Our server was delightful, our food was awesome, and the decor was enviable (if you're into the whole wagon motif). Then we went home to drink beer and play one of our new acquisitions, The Omega Virus.

It's too hot to type. Sunday, very quickly, we were expecting company who had to cancel last-minute. We took to the road again, this time toward Skowhegan (for ice cream. Why not, right?) once we got there, we decided instead to keep driving. We went south on 201 until we hit Brunswick. We got Indian food for dinner (very good!), and went to Target, where I purchased work-appropriate shorts. Then we headed home. OH! And we almost ran over a turtle crossing the road. If you're a turtle crossing a busy highway, you're begging to get run over. He must've been desperate to get to the other side. It's kind of inspiring, actually.

And now, I'm going to take a nap in the fridge.

boyfriends

2006-06-15T06:36:00.000-05:00

I have a new boyfriend. I just found out this morning! He, Tami and I went out last night. He's smart and funny, short (never a problem), and turns six in September. Did that fool anyone, even for a minute? Tami took Trevor to Wal*Mart and Pizza Hut last night to celebrate getting good grades on his report card, and she invited me along. Needless to say it was very fun. This morning, while walking the plaza, I learned how big an impression I made. Apparently Trevor made Tami take pictures of him with his wrestling figures to give to me. Also, he's in the process of writing me a "love letter". I guess five year olds think I'm cool! It's the magic age that thinks everything I say is funny and interesting. So when I become rich and famous, I'm thinking I'm going to need an entourage of kindergarteners with me at all times. Perhaps my blueberry stoli recipe will net me more than just the respect of alcoholics - I'll get the adoration of the Barney set!

Also last night, Jeremy and I happened upon a Great Performances of interest - Bill Irwin, Clown Prince. Jeremy let me watch it. It totally made my night. I could watch Bill Irwin knit a sweater and be entertained. In an ideal world, my job would be to do what Bill Irwin does. Physical comic/clown/mime, with class. I could go on, but I'm the only one who'd care to read seven more paragraphs of "Bill Irwin rocks HARD! I (heart) him!"

I work 9-3 today. Hot Fed Ex Guy is going to be delivering a package to the store. Tami wants me to ask him if he's single. I promised her nothing, since I'm not a blatant flirter. I did tell her that if he brought her up by name, I'd dig a little. That's what friends are for.

liquor up!

2006-06-14T09:33:00.000-05:00

Very briefly, I'll sum up the end of the carnival: Saturday's weather resulted in fewer hours of operation, so they stayed until Sunday. Sunday was partly sunny. I couldn't convince Jeremy to come along. By the time we finally got to the plaza (we were going to pick up dinner foods and ride a ride), they had started shutting down. It was only 5:00 p.m. So my last entry sums up my entire carnival experience.

I can't remember what I was looking at yesterday, but I found a link to blueberry stoli. I clicked on the link because "hey, yum! blueberry stoli!" After arriving at the blueberry stoli site, I learned of the drink contest. Invent a drink, submit it, and the winner gets...not a whole lot, actually. Recognition. A name and the drink recipe printed in the company-sponsored drink book. But still, talk about fun! I'd love to share my ideas (because obviously I'm going to do it), but I'd hate to give away my creative edge.

I have today off. I know I'm going to wash the dishes at some point. Other than that, it's all up in the air. I'll probably grab a few movies. Maybe I'll read one of my library books. In all likelihood, I'll listen to podcasts and play Feeding Frenzy 2. Oh, and I'll celebrate the flag. I'll knit the flag a commemorative sweater, or eat a pudding pop in its honor. Happy Flag Day!

awesome friday

2006-06-10T12:51:00.000-05:00

I filled a hole in Tami's shift yesterday, a 2:30-5:00. Easy money. I had time to re-arrange and start shifting the gallery, and at 4:00 the customers came. From the highest mountains to the lowest valleys, everyone wanted movies. I had quite a line. Everyone was in good spirits, and the carnival served as easy small-talk. At 5:00, the evening shift arrived. It had yet to rain, and Tami and I decided to head out to the parking lot to ride a ride. We went on a hand glider contraption that goes in circles, where we control how high or low we went. Our co-riders were a group of 7-9 year old girls. From there, having survived the family-friendly ride without vomiting, we headed to the "ferris wheel of death". Not what it's actually called, but looking at it, one would easily identify the ride I'm talking about. Tami and I were the only people on it. After loading us in and securing us, the ride started. After one pass, they stopped the ride and told us they were going to put us in a different cage...one that would go upside down. Oh joy. So we were moved from a cage that had a sway to it but maintained an upright position, to one with no sway, meaning that by the time we reached the top of the wheel we'd be 100% upside down.

I should mention that Tami and I went directly from work to the carnival in full Movie Gallery attire. The fact that we clearly worked in the plaza, coupled with Tami being somewhat of a carny magnet, meant that all the handlers (or engineers, as one carny identified himself to be..."I'm not a carny, you know. I'm a mechanical engineer. I just travel with the fair part-time". Sure, carny. Sure.) felt the need to...I don't know. Get us. Make us puke. Make us giggle. But primarily, the puke part. I guess we were a novelty in our matching red polos and khaki pants. Not to mention being the oldest people at that point riding rides. So when we switched cages on the FWOD, their fun began. We handled upside-down like pros. Having not made us scream or cry, the carnies started slowing the ride down once we hit the top, leaving us upside down and virtually immobile, just dangling in the sky. Boobs flopping about, hair mussed, foreheads ready to burst. It was crazy. Tears were streaming down our faces from laughing so hard. After a few rounds, they brought us back down. Before letting us out, Carny Jr. reactivated the spin mechanism and hand-spun our cage ultrafast. He then stopped on a dime, and spun us in the opposite direction (forward to back, then back to forward). Ugh! We survived. The ticket handler commented on our lack of screaming. We told him we were awesome.

Surviving the FWOD perhaps made us a bit too cocky, a touch too confident. The apple ride I referred to the other day, "Spin the Apple"is pretty much like the teacup ride, but on a smaller scale. That, and you're actually inside a hollowed out apple. So the only open air you see is a window-sized square near the entrance. Anyway, we overspun right off the bat. Suddenly there was a very real danger of yakking. We stopped our apple and rode out the ride just going in a circle. But the damage was done. The apple ride, perhaps the family-friendliest contraption of the lot, wrecked us. We went back into the store and hid in Tami's office, waiting for the spinning to stop. We were officially done with the carnival for the night.

It's raining today, but it's lightened up considerably since 9:00 a.m. So they're possibly opening things up at 3:00 today, and I think Jeremy and I are going to check it out. I have yet to go on the La Kermesse ride, and I could use another piece of fried dough.

food, fun, and falling down

2006-06-09T08:01:00.000-05:00

It's supposed to rain all weekend. Through Monday, actually. It certainly rained hard and long yesterday, the first day of the canival. I'm not sure if it even opened, technically. It hasn't rained yet today, but the day is still young. I'm going to have to check it out. So needless to say, I haven't been yet. And there's a chance that I, and the town of Jay, are going to miss out. Sucky.

Wednesday, after finishing my last entry, I decided to re-arrange the furniture in the living room. I was excited and motivated and ready to move couches. It was then that I fell down the stairs. All of them. Top to bottom, level two to level one. My injuries would've been minor had I not extended both arms to grasp at the railings in an attempt to stop myself. I ended up unnaturally yanking both arms out of their sockets. It slowed me down, but as soon as I let go, I proceeded to fall the rest of the way down. I bruised my legs, pulled countless muscles, and had rug burn on my palms. Good times. It made yesterday's inventory shift a lot more interesting.

Actually, inventory went fast. We were both in extreme pain for various reasons, but we were efficient, and tackled the work like pros. The big scan was done around 1:00, and the three passes (a record for us!) were complete around 2:00. I was home early. It was too fast and too easy to be inventory. We had iced coffee and muffins. We didn't walk the plaza, because we were getting up early as it was...neither of us wanted to get up at 5:00 to allow for exercise befor counting every item in the store. This morning we skipped on walking because of the threat of rain. Perhaps I'll jog in place a bit in exchange...the next best thing!

Jeremy was home yesterday. After my early work day, we went to the library to return/renew my books, and select more. I kept "Home Comforts" for another cycle, because I am still inspired to homemake with every chapter I complete. I also picked up Stephen King's On Writing, a book of Annie Proulx stories (Bad Dirt: Wyoming Stories 2) and Susan Susanka's The Not So Big House (because as of recent I'm into finding pictures of rooms I like, and storing them away to maybe one day build the ideal home). Jeremy grabbed, among other things, E.B. White's One Man's Meat, and I'm going to have to read it. Because I looked at a chunk of it, and it's great. We also had a present in our mailbox - Kansas City! The first of our vacation brochures arrived. There were lots of additional leaflets, a "Discover KC" discount card, and a map. It looks like a pretty happening city. Most entertaining was a series of "Halloweekends" at one of the big amusement parks. For example, "Camp Gonnagitcha Witchahatchet." And one we'd have no choice but to bring Jim to, "The Carnival of Carnivorous Clowns." Once we'd finished looking at books and mail, we decided on an evening of food and film. We went to the Farmington Diner for too much breakfast, and caught the 9:35 show of Mission: Impossible 3. It was great!

And with that, I'm going to go start my day.

franco-american-inspired nostalgia

2006-06-07T06:55:00.000-05:00

Last night the carnies set up a ferris wheel, but with death cages attached to the ends, replacing the more traditional seating. The granny smith apple from yesterday is now four apples: two red, two green, and they supposedly spin. It hasn't been set up yet, so I'm still in the dark as to how it's going to work. There's a kiddie-size scrambler, a ride I forget the name to but rode once at La Kermesse in 1987 (like a wire tire that you are strapped into, then it lifts up and spins), and lots of carny trailers. It's a nice little set-up, but I'm hoping there's more to it. Because if the carnival is comprised of nothing other than what's already there, I am going to have a hard time spending three days at it. I'll do it, but it'll be tough.

La Kermesse...1986 was my first year. We were living in Biddeford at the time. Fun. French. I think it was the next year that my Brownie troop was in the parade. We all got to dress in costumes. I was Mama from Mama's Family - I thought I was so awesome (who am I kidding...I was TOTALLY awesome!). The year that I rode the wire wheel of terror was the year that Lorrie got lost on the fairgrounds. A former teacher of mine, and Lorrie's then-current teacher, Mrs. McPhail, found her. That was also the night I learned that Mrs. McPhail smoked...it made me feel awkward, since at that age, and for many years after that, cigarettes were "devil sticks", consumed by bad people who did bad things. I can only imagine that it was a tiring brainwashing campaign on my mother's part. I was severely reprimanded for holding a candy cigarette when I was five, and since then, I can't come in contact with cigarettes without being overwhelmed with nauseating guilt. Lorrie doesn't have that problem. Not that she smokes, because she doesn't. But she has, at least once. She doesn't break out into a rash or have a panic attack when her best friend asks her to pick up a package of cigarettes for her (another story altogether. I did it, but at a cost to my mental well-being). She also never ended up arguing with another friend who wanted her to simply put a clove cigarette against her lips to taste the cinnamon (I couldn't do it even if I wanted to!) I have nothing against people who smoke. I have no qualms when people who smoke want to smoke in my presence. But I have no control over the resulting sadness.

Where the hell did all that come from? I'm cut off! More blogging later.

i invent a social anxiety disorder and learn to use "myriad" in a sentence

2006-06-05T17:56:00.000-05:00

Making a schedule is HARD. I spent four hours on Sunday attempting to cover shifts fairly, without exceeding our allotted hourage. It helped my shift pass, and once I finished, I felt extremely contented. There's nothing like hard work to make you appreciate things. Today was pretty crazy, too. The whole layout of the store needs to be revamped, requiring shifting and transferring and cleaning. The day flew. It's going to be a good week. I work tomorrow, Wednesday off, Thursday is inventory, Friday off. I was supposed to work Saturday morning, but Tami took the shift so I could come in Sunday night to help finish implementing the merchandising changes. This means two carnival days are completely work-free. The carnies have already started filtering in. This morning we saw a piece of a funhouse (or possibly a fake jail) in the dirt lot to the left of the plaza. There was another object, resembling a really big granny smith apple, which I can only assume is a people-sized fondue pot. Very exciting.

I think I'm bipeoplar. That's not a typo, I just made it up. By which I mean as of quite recently, I either am delighted to be in the presence of others, or freaked out. This evening I'm freaked out. It's like...like when your feet are being tickled, but it doesn't tickle good; it tickles bad. Like irritation, but without being irritable. It's the two extremes. I'm not sure if small town living is doing it to me, or if it's age, or who knows what else. Bipeoplar.

After watching a special on Loretta Lynn's Haunted Plantation last night (and after having recently seen Coal Miner's Daughter for the first time), Jeremy and I decided that it might be time for another trip to the south. I excitedly suggested we request travel brochures from various states and major cities. So that's exactly what we did. Half in Jeremy's name, half in mine, all due to start arriving in 10-15 business days. If you've never had random vacation guides sent to you en masse, I highly recommend it. I haven't done anything like this since 2000...I had an atlas or gazeteer, or some kind of travel book with pages of coupons in the back. All you had to do was put your name and address, and drop them in the mail. I sent a few to friends, and saved the majority for myself. It didn't result in a vacation, but, at least for me, sometimes thinking about the vacation is good enough. Planning adventures is almost as good as taking them. Anyway, what was I saying? Yes. There are a myriad* of eateries we'd like to patronize, along with some killer scenery. There are other things, but I can't tell you what they are until our catalogs get here.

*Usage Note: Throughout most of its history in English myriad was used as a noun, as in a myriad of men. In the 19th century it began to be used in poetry as an adjective, as in myriad men. Both usages in English are acceptable, as in Samuel Taylor Coleridge's “Myriad myriads of lives.” This poetic, adjectival use became so well entrenched generally that many people came to consider it as the only correct use. In fact, both uses in English are parallel with those of the original ancient Greek. The Greek word mrias, from which myriad derives, could be used as either a noun or an adjective, but the noun mrias was used in general prose and in mathematics while the adjective mrias was used only in poetry.

About the tiny paragraph above here? I checked with dictionary.com about my usage of myriad, because I wasn't sure if making it a noun was accurate, and managed to learn something interesting. I just thought I'd share.

cruel to bee kind

2006-06-02T07:33:00.000-05:00

I decided to change my blog format. The old one was fun, but I prefer the font on this one. It's a little bigger, making my words look a lot more exciting. I don't want to dwell, I just thought I should acknowledge the change.

As of Tuesday, Tami and I started walking Jay Plaza in the mornings. Today was day three. I absolutely love getting up and doing something with my morning. We go anytime between 6:00 and 6:45, depending on how we're feeling. We've managed about three miles each day so far. We then drive to Dunkin' Donuts for iced coffee, then go home to officially start our respective days. The first morning was troublesome - sometime during the third lap, my stomach started to cramp. I blamed past inactivity, and pressed on. Once we finished, and I got home, something in my colon let go. For the rest of the morning, and the better part of the afternoon, I experienced what Emily referred to as "runner's diarrhea". It's not a phenomenon I knew anything about, and it was almost enough to prevent me from ever wanting to exercise again. The only perk was waking up the next morning and feeling light. Spry, even. Yesterday was not nearly as bad, and as far as today is concerned, I've successfully dodged the bullet (so far).

Tami had a meeting with the district manager yesterday, who told her she needed to delegate responsibilities to others. Without getting into the specifics, I am now going to be the schedule maker! There's no pay increase, or guarantee of promotion or power or whatever, but I'm THRILLED by the news. I've never made a schedule before, but I've always wanted to. All the figuring and placing and the numbers, working around limitations, budgeting the allotted hours...tee!!! Maybe it's crazy to call it a dream come true, but, you know. It is. If there was one cool thing I could do at work, making the schedule is it. And that she thought of me for it is a huge compliment. Life is good.

Tomorrow we're going to Topsham for a potluck spelling bee, hosted by Dan and Tori. I'm studying for the event the same way I studied for the SATs - not at all. I'm not playing to win. I haven't been a competitive speller since grade 6. I know what I know, and I'll last as long as I was meant to last. I don't want to win. As long as I get through the first round, I'm set. We might head down early to spend some time at Target. It's sad how much I miss living in a town with a Target. Sure globalization sucks, but my affection for quirk and value disallow me from judging.

I should stop. I have more to write, but I'll save it for tomorrow.

uuhhhhh

2006-05-30T08:53:00.000-05:00

I spent a good portion of yesterday reading. I stayed up until 4:45 this morning finishing Sammy's Hill, by Kristin Gore. It wasn't great, but it wasn't bad either. A bit contrived in parts, but it had some laughs. The love aspect wrapped up abruptly, but I was ready for it to be done. It was compelling enough. The political parts were interesting, because it was impossible not to assume she had drawn from life experience. President Pile sure does remind me of another four-letter president. Senator Gary? A bit paternal-seeming, if you ask me. But it's done, and today I hurt. I had planned to sleep until 11:00 or so, but Trina called at 7:30, waking me from not nearly enough sleep. I ran down the stairs, confusedly thinking that it was work, telling me that I had overslept (because I assumed it was at least 9:00), or that they desperately needed me to fill a shift. Nope! She called back right before 9:00, however, and I asked Jeremy to take a message. She's something else. Nice, but a handful. Four hours of sleep is enough to get through the day.

I did get called in today, technically. For an hour. Tami said I don't need to bother putting on Movie Gallery attire, which is a treat. I'm convinced that my overall job satisfaction would be higher if I got to wear my own clothes to work. My one red polo shirt is very old-looking, and I can never find appropriate pants. My current pair of Wal*Mart "utility pants" (purchased in the women's section - the utilitarian pockets are ripping off, as they were clearly meant to be decorative) are somewhat ugly and WAY too long. My last two pant finds were too short. I'm coming to realize that looking ridiculous from the waist down might be part of my charm.

So my today is coffee (I can smell it a-brewin'), work at 2:00, and read another library book. My current stack is due June 1st. I always let my books sit until it's too late, then try to plow through them, generally without success. I've finished nine books so far this year. That's not as close to fifty as is should be, six months into the year. Oh well! I'm 16 books off my pace, no biggie. It's a miracle I'm reading at all.

Memorial Day weekend was good. Saturday afternoon we went to a barbeque at Jeff and Jube's. Very laid back, very fun. Sunday we drove to Phillips (why not!). I wore shorts outside for the first time in two years. My legs violently rejected sunlight and the elements, but they're adjusting. Monday I had to work until three. It was a great weekend overall.

Out of curiosity, I clocked the distance around the perimeter of the Jay Plaza lot on Sunday. It's almost half a mile! I'm getting over the potential humiliation, and thinking about starting to jog it. If I go early enough, I won't have to contend with Camper Man. I'd also manage to avoid the rest of the people who patronize the plaza. The only thing preventing me from starting yesterday is my desire to jog to music. Now that I've made a plan, I want an iPod Nano. They're cute, and hold just enough songs to keep me from getting bored. Not to mention that I wouldn't jeopardize the integrity of the music tracks with heavy jostling. Which makes me wonder why anyone ever bothered inventing the Discman.

back! (and fresher than ever)!

2006-05-26T12:38:00.000-05:00

OOPS! Sorry, people who care about me and my life. I haven't had the time or energy to write recently, but now I'm making the time; channeling the energy. Within hours of posting my last entry, I looked out the front door to see my street torn up, with several men in hats driving trucks and staring into the ground. I guess there was a water emergency. We had water back by the end of the day. Rest assured, that smell of filth in the air isn't me.

Work has been consuming me, this week in particular. Tami's in Arizona until Sunday, and one of my co-workers has come down with a 72-hour my-boyfriend-is-visiting bug, and hasn't been able to work her shifts. As I've been left in charge, I get to fill the empty store time. So my next paycheck will be sizeable (sizeable for Movie Gallery, that is). Inventory is next week, which means an early day of coffee, doughnuts, and counting. Inventory day is also the first day of the carnival in the Ames parking lot.

Perhaps you weren't able to detect the excitement masked in that last sentence, but THERE'S A CARNIVAL COMING TO THE AMES PARKING LOT! Which, for those of you who haven't visited us in Jay (read: everyone but Michelle), means the carnival is across the street from our apartment. Thursday, Friday and Saturday, June 8-10. We are going to live at the carnival until it's gone. And, if anyone wants to overdose on fun with us any of those days, you're more than welcome to come up for a day, spend the night if you have to travel. We've got seven bags of bottles in the basement, and every penny we redeem is going to be spent on the carnival. No more, no less.

I had a dream milestone last night. For the first time, I acknowledged a dream while still dreaming. The plot, summed up, was that Elliot Yamin (of American Idol fame) fell in love with me. I apparently found a way to see the show, but it was filmed in what looked like a super-huge version of my high school gymnasium. Anyway, he was trying to hold me, and he wrote me letters, etc. Very nice. Then my sister was wheeled in several levels below us on a stretcher, and I cried (so Elliot comforted me, obviously!). Then Jeremy came in and asked what was going on. We fought, and I told him repeatedly that nothing had happened (because it never does...my brain thwarts it all), and that it was only a dream. How bizarre and self-realizing. Is that the right term? Though I was saying it, I wasn't fully aware of it until I woke up. I'm excessively impressed. Jeremy was, too.

Just realized something...if I had said "I was excessively impresed", I could've made the contraction I's. I's excessively impressed. Ha! Sounds terrible, but technically, there's nothing overtly wrong with it. Not that I plan to use it in conversation.

desert oasis

2006-05-14T08:33:00.000-05:00

I was woken by the phone at 8:00 this morning. I got to it on the fourth ring, only to find a dial tone at the other end. Since I'm down here, I might as well pee and make coffee, I said to myself. One problem: we don't seem to have running water. You can hear a quiet, thinking-about-distributing-water sound, but nothing happens. I'm not sure if that means it's leaking out somewhere else, or what. One thing I KNOW it means? We have to clean up in order to have Arthur come in to check it out.

Water isn't a utility we pay, so it's not blatantly our fault. I don't know if something could get clogged, and effect all the pipes in the house? Or maybe Arthur did something to his pipes that effected ours. At any rate, I can't shower, flush the toilet, wash my hands, or make coffee. NOT how I like to start my day.

no dream job for fannie

2006-05-07T16:47:00.000-05:00

AAA Northern New England's Portland location is looking for a "Production Packager". Know what the job descrpition is? MAKE TRIP TIKS! It was posted on April 25th. I have no resume programs on my computer, or access to a computer with such a program. On top of that, I have never in my life written a cover letter. Not only do I not know how to start it (a problem I've always had, be it with term papers, or even blog entries), I'm not sure how I'd best articulate my qualifications:

1) Repeated Trip Tik user/enthusiast
2) Map Enjoyer
3) I LOVE DRIVING DIRECTIONS!

Two questions:
1) Do these things belong in a cover letter?
2) How do I express these statements without sounding like an asshole?

Technically, it doesn't even make sense for me to apply. The job's been posted a week already. They'll probably want to hire soon. Sooner than I'm going to be in the area. Sooner than will allow for us to move and acquire a second vehicle.

Sucky. I would absolutely love this job. How often does AAA hire Trip Tik assemblers? It doesn't seem like a job someone would give up once they had it. Nothing hints at there being an opportunity for me to have this job. Which, sadly, gives me ridiculous levels of false hope.

med head

2006-05-04T17:00:00.000-05:00

It's too easy to fall behind with the computer. I'm two birthday cards off my pace, and minor events that necessitate fragmented half-paragraph summaries are stacking (and quickly being forgotten).

I've been sick with something for over a week. Not anything normal or easily identified. It involves coughing, something sore or swollen in my neck (I'd say throat, but it feels lower than that), and, as of yesterday, a tight, nauseous feeling in my chest. Different symptoms are showcased each day...some days I don't cough until bedtime, others I cough nonstop. Yesterday, Jeremy suggested we pick up medication. We were already at WalMart to pick up some workpants (I've split two pairs of pants under Movie Gallery's employ. Granted, I should've known better than to buy linen pants last time, but my judgement was clouded by the prettiness of the Brunswick Target), so medicine seemed like maybe a good idea. Not knowing what to look for made it tricky. I don't have a cold, or the flu really. It's a grab-bag of symptoms which translate into nothing that makes sense. I opted for Coricidin HPB Maximum Strength Flu, which covered most of my ailments with the least mention of problems I don't currently have. It helped! I took my first dose in the car, washed down with a grape Crush (which is deliciously fruity - never will I deny myself Crush for so long again). By the time we got back to the apartment, I was feeling pretty damn good (I understand why the Coricidin required ID with purchase). I wiped out on the couch about 40 minutes later, woken only to be moved upstairs two hours later. I slept in a horizontal position (progress!), and didn't wake up until morning.

Birthmas was about what I expected. Stressful, but fun. Mom showed up before 8:00 a.m., which pleased me not at all. But we had muffins and coffee, and it was fine. She told me she signed up for Match.com, and we spent the better part of the morning looking at her profile and winking at eligible bachelors. Surprisingly fun! Anne and Bart arrived around 2:30, and the festivities began. Lots of food, chit-chat, presents, movies, etc. Mom took off late Sunday morning, and Jeremy's parents left about an hour after that.

I was in Portland on Tuesday to meet up with my friend Crystal for lunch. It rained, of course. But we had lunch at the Oriental Table, and got frappes at Beal's (CAKE BATTER FRAPPE! It was great, I highly recommend it). Thoroughly drenched, we decided to drive somewhere. Since Crystal had yet to experience the South Portland Target, I happily became her enabler. That was the day that God smiled down from heaven onto my lovely wallet - all five seasons of Gilmore Girls were on sale. $22 a piece. I purchased the two seasons that rounded off my collection (with some guilt and a fair amount of deliberation). That was a good day.

I've been dreaming bizarrely - I no longer remember the specifics of this particular dream, but at one point I was in a bathroom of the 7th Heaven house, dancing awkwardly on the toilet while Verne Troyer peeped through the wall.

I hate to end there, but that's all I've got.

let the festivities begin!

2006-04-28T06:47:00.000-05:00

It's Birthmas weekend! Today I woke up at 7:00 a.m., independent of an alarm, and not requiring coffee to function (but still poured myself a cup of yesterday's finest, because who am I kidding?). No one is arriving today, thanks in part to my quick-thinking and knowing how to appease my mother (I promised her low-fat muffins and a nice early start to the day if she waited until Saturday to arrive. She'll be here at 8:00 tomorrow. It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make).

Today is my preparatory cleaning day. As I've mentioned before, I don't anticipate guests where cleaning is concerned. So I've got fixtures to chip toothpaste spittle off of, old bottles to toss, carpets to vacuum, walls to wash (but I'll draw the line there, because, again, who am I kidding?), plus dishes and laundry and clearing spare rooms of book sale overflow (we have yet to acquire bookshelves, so we've got mounds of old paperbacks flowing out of milk crates in every room of the apartment. Makes for good browsing?) I'm almost looking forward to cleaning. Something about turning it into a big event, where I can open windows, and burn a CD "soundtrack" of sorts, makes it exciting. Tonight, after Jeremy gets home, we're going to do some gift shopping. Every person spends $10 in stocking gifts on the others, and then buys Jeremy a birthday present...that way it's not too pricey, and no one has more presents than the birthday boy. I also need to make a cake - I have a borderline-sacrilegious design in mind (that I cleared with Jeremy's mom in advance, just in case)...it'll read "Happy Birthday Jesus and Jeremy!" and they'll be sitting around a cake, blowing out candles together. I'm thinking yellow or marble cake, with cream cheese frosting (the tastiest easy option where food coloring is concerned).

What else? Camper Man has a gun. But he also has a sane, well-dressed, nice-seeming brother, who shed some light on the situation. His existence made the gun thing way less scary. In case anyone cared (which is hard to gauge), he's apparently saving up money to buy the house he grew up in, and decided that until he had enough, he would live in his camper. The house is - you guessed it! - in Jay (which, and I feel bad saying it, all seems too sane to be true). So in the meantime, he's stalking the plaza, pissing on the seats of McDonalds, etc. On Tuesday, two of the regular kids (aged 12/13) were coming in (they hang out with whoever is working, because, according to one of their mothers, Movie Gallery is the alternative to "trouble". So they come in, we let them re-shelf movies, and give them a free soda in exchange) as Camper Man was going into Wah Garden, the Chinese food establishment one door to the left. He pulled one of the kids aside as the other entered the store. He had told the kid not to come into Movie Gallery, because the boy who had just gone in was going to steal. The kid came in and told us what had just transpired, and I was pissed. If Camper Man had come in after that, Bad Fannie would've ripped him a new one. You don't DO that! He doesn't know the kid he labeled as a thief! He's a sweeping judgement kind of guy. I've had a few crazy interactions with him...but he's stopped coming in for the most part. That guy better have mental problems, or else he's the hugest, creepiest asshole on the planet.

Well, I suppose I should start my day. Jeremy will be getting up soon. I'll make my cleaning CD while he showers, then jump into my day. If you don't hear from me by the end of the weekend, then the stress killed me. Don't send flowers - just make a donation in my name to the charity of your choice. Or buy yourself some nice shoes.

smarter, fitter, cleaner (almost.)

2006-04-13T13:13:00.000-05:00

Twice in the past two weeks, first by an old man and second by a five-year-old boy, I've been told I should finish college. In neither instance were we discussing college, or even my personal history. I don't tend to engage customers - especially the pre-school aged ones - with my schooling history. Weird, right? How do kids that young even know what college is?

Work's been pretty good. I work lots of day shifts now, which is a nice change. More tasks! Mondays are my favorite day of the week these days...I spend most of the day shifting the wall while Tami helps customers, then we order lunch and spend the rest of the afternoon sitting around.

As the weather gets nicer, the shifts feel longer. The difference between last week and this week, customer-wise, has been shocking. From 1-6 yesterday I saw, at most, nine customers. This doesn't include people who drop off a movie and leave, because they tend to ignore my pleasantries. I quickly run out of things to do. And since Camper Man started parking across the street in the deserted Jay Family Restaurant parking lot, with the vehicle facing Jay Plaza (and since we also learned that as of late he's become quite the picture taker), I don't like going outside. So I've taken to entertaining myself indoors. Earlier in the week I walked laps through the aisles. A different kind of walk each pass. Some hip-intensive crazy walks, some speed, some slow, some ?, and yesterday I turned the center lane into a catwalk of sorts. I went to the back of the store and faced forward. From there I would jog to the $5 bins (not too far from the counter), and then backwards jog back to the back of the store. I felt and looked retarded, but also invigorated and refreshed. Since I've yet to start jogging outside (between the surprise mini snow storm and my gross cold, nature's been throwing symbolic wrenches into my plans, perhaps telling me that I should not run?), these spurts of cardiovascular activity are the next best thing...not to mention that an hour of aerobic ass-making nets me $6. And it passes the time. Win-win-win!

It's either a sign of age, general maturity, or speaks to the quality of their programming, but The History Channel has been airing a ten-part series called "10 Days that Unexpectedly Changed America", and it's fantastic. Ten hour-long documentaries, each featuring a particular country-shaping event, airing two per night (culminating tonight with days nine and ten). I'm riveted! Either I didn't give a crap about history before, or maybe the History Channel weaves a web better than any of my history teachers ever did, but I feel...I don't even know. Smarter. More involved. Like I want to know more. I've been turned onto the Science Channel in the last year, too. I recently failed an attempt at Carl Sagan's "Cosmos" - every time I sat down to a new installment, I immediately fell asleep. Not that the cosmos aren't fascinating, just that Carl Sagan's a calm and sleepy kind of guy.

Easter is this Sunday. I have no plans. Next weekend I go to Portland for Michelle's birthday, and the weekend after that is Birthmas. As of yet, I'm not stressing out, because last time I spoke to my mother we had a pretty good conversation. I have plenty of cleaning to do in the meantime. I made sure to get Friday of that week off, so I could bleach and spray every surface of our home. Why I don't keep up with this stuff, I will never know. Where's the excitement in being prepared for guests, right?

ship it good

2006-03-30T10:06:00.000-05:00

We went to Portland last weekend. We left Jay around 10:30 a.m. Saturday, in order to get to the Portland Public Library by noon (they were having their book sale, and noon was when prices were slashed - ten cents per paperback, fifty cents per hardcover). We, as always, were late, but Emily S., who met us there, knew this was likely going to be the case. She herself had just gotten there when we arrived at ten past. We talked, mocked, browsed and made purchases. I think we were at the religion table when I was sharing my UMF tale, about not being accepted, about hearing that they weren't necessarily a non-traditional campus, feeling weird about it, etc., when a strange gal (late twenties, early thirties?) came up to me. I will abridge the encounter.

"Hi, did you just say University of Maine in Farmington? I just applied there. I have a 3.0, what was your GPA? (my answer: "Actually, I don't know.") I've been told I'm inspirational, I survived cancer you know. Then there was the abuse. I just submitted my essay. I think I'll get in. So you didn't get in? I think I have a good shot. Do you think I'll get in? I've been told I'm an inspiration."

There were also questions about how Emily and I knew each other. Jeremy had long since defected to a far corner of the auditorium. Emily eventually followed. I did my best to maintain politeness while this girl followed me around the book sale. I later managed a subtle, natural escape. Not that I didn't feel sorry for this girl. I don't imagine she has many friends to talk to if she can walk up to strangers and unload like that. But it's hard to sympathize when your sad tale so perfectly highlights my general feeling of inferiority. I threw lots of "that DOES sound inspirational! I'm sure, despite the university's tendency not to admit non-traditional students, that you will be the exception to the rule." and "yeah, my GPA was nowhere near 3.0, so that'll help."

From there, we went to the public market for coffee. We caught up (we hadn't seen each other in who knows how long, and had been trying to make plans to get together for the last ten months), reminisced, and went to browse at Material Objects. We didn't last long there, and parted ways shortly thereafter. We stopped in at Clay City to make plans with the other Emily, and popped into Videoport to visit and get movies. Jeremy and I had a late lunch at the Oriental Table (the best food on the eastern seaboard).

We went to Michelle and David's from there, where we met their new cat, and watched The Adventures of Pete and Pete on DVD. Emily came over after work, and she, me and Michelle went to Target. There was lots of almost-purchasing, and Michelle inadvertently asked a stockboy we had just deemed excessively bootylicious about where we might find contact paper. We had Target Dogs, and an enlightening debate over natural cures for yeast infections (garlic vs yogurt). I think it was the first time we all hung out together, without the men. It was the highlight of my weekend.

Once we were back, we watched three Garfield specials, and prepared ourselves for Ruskis. We went at 11:00, and were the first ones there. A few people later tricked in, and it was a nice, calm evening. Emily S. showed up, as she's dating one of Jeremy's Videoport pals, so I spent a large portion of the evening chatting with her. From there we went back to Dennis's, watched some Robot Chicken (not a funny show, but not unfunny either), and went to bed. The next morning we woke up entirely too early, and went to breakfast with Jackie. We stopped in to see if Em and the Joes were around, but alas, they were out. Which worked fine for us, because we were ready to go home.
___

Every Wednesday, the following week's new releases are sent to us via Fed Ex. Our Fed Ex guy is exceptionally nice-looking. Tami and I are the only ones who ever have to deal with him, so we will talk about his hair cut, how he shaved his beard, etc. At one point he was a quiet and shy delivery guy. Last week, however, the movies came on Tuesday, and Tami was there alone. She's a tell-it-like-it-is type, and I think she told it. Right to him. Because yesterday, Mr. Fex Ex Ground came in, and was perky and chatty... I commented on the exceptional temperatures outside, and he told me that he was going to have to pull out the Fex Ex shorts soon, because he was getting sweaty and people were complaining! And he said it with the shamelessness of a guy who's suddenly found his confidence. Naughty Fex Ex guy! I laughed about his shorts for the rest of the afternoon. Shameless, I tell you. I love this town.

pu pu for who?

2006-03-23T16:14:00.000-05:00

I had coffee for the first (...and second...and third) time this morning since last week. My addiction was being fueled by something else completely. FULL THROTTLE FURY! It's the Coca Cola energy drink that Movie Gallery bigwigs decided to stock our cooler with. I tried it out of curiosity (because its arrival instigated the creepiest, most insane conversation with Camper Man I've ever had to endure), and was immediately hooked. To taste, it's kind of like tangerine and pomegranate, plus carbonation. One 16-ounce can will jack you up beyond acceptable levels of crazy. Needless to say, we all got hooked. They originally sent twenty-four. Between five of us, it was gone within the week. I'm desperate for more to be delivered. There's no guarantee of that happening. Some poor hack in Alabama ultimately decides whether I ever get to enjoy the sweet caffeinated nectar again. To make matters worse, no one else in the area stocks this liquid gold! It's cruel, really.

I'm increasingly conflicted about MySpace. I'm being found by people I haven't spoken to in years. My high school is simultaneously discovering the site, and suddenly it's like Classmates.com, but without having to pay money. But there's something flawed in addressing everyone you know at the same time. I can't really write blogs there, because not everyone gets the funny! Many people aren't privvy to what's in Fannie's head. I'm constantly editing and censoring myself. Not that that's a bad thing...thinking about what I'm saying tends to be good for me...but there are limits. Still, it's interesting. *sigh*

Things are pretty calm. Life's been living itself for the most part. March has flown by. Oh, the ladybugs are back. A sign that spring has sprung? Sure! But we're still sleeping on the floor. It seems like too-easy access. We seriously need to buy a bed.

April Walsh is going to be ridiculously famous. Why? Because I said so. And she could totally play 16, ask anyone.

Jeremy and I are going to Portland this weekend. It's been awhile since we've seen anyone, and our schedules worked themselves out enough to allow a trip. Almost everyone we know lives in Portland, which means that by the time Sunday rolls around, we'll be back to never again wanting to associate with people.

We're officially thinking about moving. Sometime between May and September, preferably to the Brunswick area. It's close enough to places we like to be while also being a comfortable 30-minutes from everything we sometimes like to avoid. And they just built a Target in Topsham! Is that a sign or what?!

And as abruptly as it began, it ends.

thank heavens for little girls selling overpriced cookies

2006-03-14T14:56:00.000-05:00

I found a girl scout!

Penny, aunt of Tami (and co-Movie Gallery worker from another store), has a daughter who's a scout. I overheard cookie talk yesterday, and managed to make it known that I was more than willing to make the acquisition of cookies worthwhile for everyone involved. I got a box each of what used to be Samoas and Tagalongs, and a box of Thin Mints (everyone likes Thin Mints!) Much to my surprise, they were delivered today. (Tami bought roughly a case of each cookie, so she's selling off her wares. The girl scouts generally make their rounds in January, I'm told). So I made a pot of coffee, and limiting myself to two of each cookie today. I pounded the "Peanut Butter Patties" (sounds stupid, doesn't it? Maybe a letter-writing campaign might convince Girl Scouts of America to change the names back?) before changing out of my work clothes, and am currently savoring my Samoas (I forget the new name...it's not worth remembering). Thin Mints, however, are an after-dinner cookie. They're for later.

After work I decided to change into a shirt I don't often wear. I spend almost all my time in a red polo shirt and khaki pants. Ninety-nine percent of the time, I'll come home and change into one of two hooded sweatshirts (the green or the brown stripey) and pajama pants. Most of my clothing never gets worn. Between not fitting as well as it used to, and not being warm enough (we heat as little as possible), most of my wardrobe gets no face time. I opted for a tan and black striped turtleneck that I bought from a thrift store in Washington, and I hate it. It's a great shirt...but it doesn't silence the voice telling me that the green sweatshirt has yet to reach it's filth maximum, and is still entirely wearable.

Huh, what other girly and uninteresting things can I talk about? My hair! It's long now. Not long long, but longer than any other time in my life. I've always been a short-hair person. But right now I have a pony tail on top of my head, and most of it is still in the elastic! It's bizarre. I finally learned how to break through the awkward-length desperation trim:
Step 1: Spend the better part of the year unemployed, allowing bills to pile up. Poverty plays a key role in hair growth.
Step 2: Move to the foothills of western Maine, where you could sooner find four wheeler outfitters than hairdressers.
Step 3: Date someone who refuses to cut the back of your hair, even if you're only asking them to cut a straight line, and you'd set the length by cutting the sides in advance.
It's as easy as that, ladies (and gents...though you should know, your hair looks better short). Within six months, your hair will cease to spike when you put it up (you'll miss the spikes, as they were kind of funny, but you'll eventually move on). I might eventually cut it, but probably not before we move. The effort isn't worth the hassle, and it doesn't look awkward anymore. Not that I ever wear it down. I'm not a long-hair person. Pony tail, 24-7.

on my general health

2006-03-10T16:52:00.000-05:00

One morning last week, as I prepared myself for work, I noticed that I looked...different. I couldn't pinpoint what had changed. "Have I aged?" "Am I tan?" I asked Jeremy. He wasn't sure. Were my eyebrows plucked into a shape foreign to my face? Not as far as I could tell. I finished getting ready with little thought on the matter, and went about my day as any other. Last night, I figured it out. Expansion.

My face is larger.

Not behemoth large, but let's say I were to trip and land on my head. The fall would be cushioned. I clearly remember the resolution to make an effort to stand and wave my arms around every once in awhile. So far, the standing more closely resembles sitting, and the waving of arms has been replaced with general motionlessness. And it's not just my face. It's also my upper arms, thighs and abdomen. My neck, god bless it, still looks sleek as ever. But at the rate of expansion going on just to the north, my head mass will inevitably crush vertebras C1 thru 7 faster than the decision to wait another ten minutes to get up to pee.

So I'm snapping into action! I'm starting small...crunches and sitbacks (the opposite of the sit-up; I throw my torso face-first over the arm of the couch, and use my back to pull myself up). Fifteen of each today, because I'm not in good shape. Tomorrow I'm pulling out the dumbbells to do arm stuff. Also, after some chatting with Emily, I've decided to attempt jogging. The recent snowfall influenced the delay in setting a start date. I'm thinking maybe April 1st (which is appropriate, since jogging will be a huge practical joke on my cardiovascular system). In the meantime I'll be physically preparing. I remembered the existence of the "Couch to 5K", and will follow it. I'm pretty jazzed about it. My stomach is a worthless lump of flesh right now, but my back is fitter than I anticipated.

That's all on the subject for now. I have other things to talk about. Namely, Good Night, and Good Luck. I contemplated expounding at length about how much I love this movie, and why. But I don't want to overhype it. I will say that if you don't plan to watch it, you will be missing out. I liked the way it was approached, the way it was shot...I ADORED the cast (even Patricia Clarkson, who I'm still not sure why she keeps showing up in movies). The commentary was great, the featurette is entirely watchable...I'm saying too much. Forget my fawning. Instead, I'll say "it's a good movie". If you happen to love it, tell me. I could talk about this movie all day. It comes out Tuesday.

because it looked fun.

2006-03-08T16:19:00.000-05:00

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Fannie!

The fannie-fighting market in the Philippines is huge - several thousand fannie-fights take place there every day!
Fannie can fly at an average speed of fifteen kilometres an hour.
Without fannie, we would have to pollinate apple trees by hand!
Fannie has a memory span of three seconds.
Fannie can sleep with one eye open.
The military salute is a motion that evolved from medieval times, when knights in armour raised their visors to reveal fannie.
If you cut fannie in half and count the number of seeds inside, you will know how many children you are going to have.
Fannie was banned from Finland because of not wearing pants.
Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are fannie.
Influenza got its name because people believed the disease was caused by the evil "influence" of fannie.

What might surprise people is that two of ten aren't completely inaccurate! Hmm.

i hate the oscars

2006-03-06T13:16:00.000-05:00

Crash was NOT the best motion picture of 2005.

If you're asking me (let's pretend, shall we?), Crash was manipulative. I'm not going to pity characters who haven't earned my sympathy. Just because your life is hard doesn't mean you get to be an asshole. There were moments that weren't terrbile, but on the whole I felt like my feelings for the characters were being dictated to me. The script was mostly weak, and yeah. Me no likey the Crash.

But at least it was a surprise. Did you notice that, for the most part, the category favorites were the eventual winners? How boring.

Reese Witherspoon was good in Walk the Line, but she wasn't Academy Award-winning good. But Joaquin Phoenix was. I'm surprised to be be saying it, because reading about the movie and seeing previews didn't prepare me for how truly excellent a Johnny Cash he was. I managed to forget that he was Joaquin. And that, to me, is good acting. Not that Phillip Seymour Hoffman wasn't worthy. I haven't seen Capote yet (due out on DVD March 14th! Same day, might I add, as Good Night, And Good Luck). I'm just saying that if Walk the Line was going to win awards for acting, the wrong person was recognized.

John Stewart didn't wow me. Maybe it's because I wanted him to. He's no Billy Crystal. To make it better, I'm making him responsible for everyone receiving their awards on stage again. Good job, John! Thanks for setting the suits at the Academy straight!!!

And you know what? George Clooney is really sexy. Whether he's technically my type or not, the man will not be denied!

That's about all the commentary I've got. We attempted to make viewing the Oscars a special celebration of sorts, and bought several movie-appropriate snacks from Hannaford shortly before showtime. Kettle popcorn, pull & peel Twizzlers, Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwiches (which made my morning coffee even more enjoyable), IBC cream soda, and the most disgusting flavor of Skittles known to man. Take my advice: Smoothie Skittles are not worth the money or the heartache. Jeremy has taken to calling them "candle bites".

It occured to me yesterday that the Oscars are aired on television, and then are eligible for an Emmy...shouldn't, in turn, the Emmys be a movie, and eligible to win an Oscar? Is this a sign, perhaps, that television is the more powerful medium? I'm just saying... don't step to the TV, friends.

pleasant valley tuesday

2006-03-02T10:55:00.000-05:00

Tuesday was perfect.

I had the day off, which generally makes waking up more joyous. Jeremy mentioned he was considering taking the day off. I said nothing, because if I've learned anything in the last several years, it's that my opinion doesn't always help particular matters, particularly when "badness" is involved. I settled on saying "I'm pro- whatever...work is good, but so is a day off together." That way, I'm not saying "well, you should probably go to work," thus killing the excitement of the suggestion, while at the same time I'm mildly encouraging him to play hookey. Because Tuesday morning I could think of nothing I wanted more than for Jeremy to take a sick day and tool around town with me.

I had to unlock the store for one of the new girls, so I ran across the street at 9:00 a.m. to do so. By the time I got back, Jeremy had made the necessary call. So we took showers, and prepped for a day out. Having received his paycheck the previous day, we went to the bank so Jeremy could cash and deposit his check. We paid off our last outstanding bill from Seattle, not to mention the furniture credit, and a utility (not sure which one. we stagger them). From there we stopped at "A Touch of Class", a thrift store in Farmington. EXTREMELY disappointing. They had a wide selection of unique cologne bottles, most still full of (what we assumed was) their original cologne. Bitter, stinging, old-man scents. One of them was in a glass turkey bottle. I can't remember the others, but they were equally bizarre and seemingly inapprorpiate.

Next stop: Wal*Mart! Because for us, there's no other reason to go to Farmington. Our most recent trips have all resulted in successful DVD purchases. Tuesday was no exception. Jeremy bought the special edition of Jaws for $13, and he got me the two-disk The Parent Trap/The Parent Trap 2 set...two of the only movies my mother deemed worthy when I was seven and eight years old. We toyed with buying a Nintendo DS, the system that supports the newest version of Animal Crossing. But the enjoyment of meals eventually beat it out, as we've not done a proper grocery shop in several weeks.

We went to Wilton from there, in hopes of finding a good place to get lunch. We stopped at the New Great Wall, a small Chinese establishment. It felt a little creaky inside, but not altogether terrible. Jeremy didn't agree, and loudly told me he forgot his wallet in the car in order to get us out. We walked to The Boiler Room from there, which is supposedly a nice place, but they were closed. No lunch in the winter! So we went back to Farmington - to Fortune Fountain (I think?), the Chinese restaurant next to Wal*Mart. They had a fountain inside - go figure! The food was pretty much what we expected, with the exception of the grainy crab rangoon, which tasted vaguely as if someone had chewed it for us, then spit the concoction, blended with sand, back into the rangoon. We took most of our food with us. We stopped on the way back to return overdue library books, then headed to the apartment.

We rented three games from Movie Gallery, and took them home. They all sucked. So we took turns playing Animal Crossing and using the computer. From here, I have to thank Beth, because her blog effected the rest of the night. I noticed that she was playing the new Animal Crossing game. Weird, I thought. Seeing that we came so close to buying it, it almost felt like a sign. Of course, Beth confirmed its general awesomeness, and we were convinced. We got back in the car, drove BACK to Farmington, and bought the system and the game. The night was spent playing new Animal Crossing and watching Gilmore Girls.

The end.

the curse of peter vella

2006-03-01T18:13:00.000-05:00

It feels only fair to warn you, the reader, that this entry is pretty gross. It's graphic for the sake of posterity, and not everyone will be able to stomach the contents (I swear, this sentence is rife with puns! Why can't I be this clever when I'm trying??) of this entry.

Finally, I have the energy to write something!

We went to Portland on Saturday. The plan was to pop into Clay City to see the divine Ms. Em, then to spend the evening attacking a box of wine with Esteban* and his wife Selsun*. Attack it we did! Jeremy and I supplied the box of Peter Vella's Chardonnay (the white grenache was gone, and it was the least horrifying alternative). Esteban also had another bottle of white, easy-to-consume wine. We watched movies, chatted, visited...and twenty minutes later, I was drunk. We primarily watched a selection of $1 films that Jeremy and I found at Wal*Mart the previous evening: specifically, Concrete Cowboys, starring Tom Selleck and Jerry Reed; and The Curious Adventures of Mr. Wonderbird, an old cartoon, allegedly based on a story by Hans Christian Anderson. Neither film make an ounce of sense. And that's not the alcohol's fault. (we toyed with watching a third, Panda and the Magic Serpent, but we just couldn't do it. We did watch Stroker Ace again, though.)

I don't think I had more than six glasses (though Jeremy tells me they more closely resembled "goblets") of wine. Nevertheless, when we finally went to bed several hours later, I wasn't horizontal for long before the Vella needed to make its violent exit. I managed to get to the bathroom before accidentally throwing up all over the door. Jeremy came into help me clean it up, since I was still in the process of being physically ill. All we could find was toilet paper, so we used huge clumps to wipe up what we could find before throwing it all into the toilet.

Did that make you stop, allowing you to intuit what happened next? Because if your guess was that the next flush caused the toilet to overflow, then you would be right! So the toilet was leaking water all over the floor, all over us, all over everything. We used more toilet paper and the only two towels we could find to soak the water up (and this time, we disposed of the mess in the garbage can). Jeremy plunged the toilet a bit, and we got the water level down. But we weren't sure if we had actually unplugged the toilet or not! Meanwhile, I was still actively sick, and being disallowed to flush. Having to stick my face in the can was reason enough to be sick after a few more hacks. After awhile, I could take no more, and flushed again. Thankfully, the blockage was gone.

That was the first hour.

Any time I attempted to stand up or lie down (vertical and horizontal were not happening), I'd start yakking again. I hadn't had that much to eat that day (which is my own fault, but not the point), so somewhere around the beginning of hour two I ran out of things to throw up. I had tried drinking water, but any time I sipped I puked it right back out. A yellow substance, tasting much like aspirin, started replacing it. That was interspersed with dry heaves, which for some reason were uncontrollably loud and desperate-sounding. Jeremy, my loving man-hunk, sat with me. His attempts at physical comforting resulted in further retching. But it was nice not to be alone.

Anyway, this went on for hours. During that time, Jeremy spent some time reading Dianetics in the hallway, and eventually went to bed. Around 5:00 a.m. we went back to the living room. I sat in a chair for awhile, hoping to fall asleep upright. That went well for about twenty minutes, at which point I attepted to lie down with Jeremy. Literally two seconds after putting my head down, I started getting sick again. I ran to the bathroom for another hour of fun. This time, I sought the company of tabloids. At 6:30 I went back to the living room, and managed to fall asleep in the chair. A little after 7:00, Esteban woke us up by pretending he wasn't waking us up. Apparently he and Selsun slept like babies. They heard none of the commotion, and were, in fact, about to comment on how "apparently no one got THAT drunk last night". If only.

We got back to Jay just after noontime on Sunday. We napped and watched television.

The amazing this is, I didn't think I was that drunk. Seriously. Only after the fact was I informed that Peter Vella Chardonnay is 11% alcohol. Not 11 proof. A huge difference. Eleven proof doesn't result in almost six hours of puking. It was good wine though. It's too bad I'm never never never drinking again. Oh well. More for everyone else!

*names changed for my own personal amusement

bad mood, decent weekend

2006-02-20T11:44:00.000-05:00

What did I do this weekend?

Saturday Jeremy and I went to Wal*Mart, as it was an excuse to get out of the apartment. We shopped for almost two hours. By the time we were done, I was ready to scream. But we made some exciting digital video disk purchases (Super Troopers, The Karate Kid, another season of Gilmore Girls), not to mention some household necessities (a big knife, a cutting board, foamy hand soap). My former co-worker Anna was supposed to come by that evening, but never showed. Ah, to be a busy and important twenty year old! It was fine, because we had talked Friday night and caught up about as much as we were going to.

Sunday we went to Portland to meet my mother for lunch at Ruby Tuesday. I got a burger. In place of cheese, I had wax paper. My meal was comped (comp'ed? compt. It was free.) as a result. From there we went to Target (the only exception to my over-shop limitations), where Jeremy got a shirt, and I got sneakers. We quickly hit Old Navy, where I got a very green sweatshirt, and Jeremy got several attractive pieces of clothing (for under $50!). Then it was Borders, for some mindless wandering before heading back home. We decided the visiting could wait until next weekend. A day with mom doesn't generally end with me wanting to spend time with people. ("Don't forget, honey, you're a terrible manipulative person who almost ruined your sister for life! What do you think of these shoes?")

I have been in a putrid mood all week. My assumption is that it's directly related to a particular time of month, but that's never been a predictable occurence, so I can't be sure. I've been extra clumsy, dropping and hitting things left and right. I was convinced that I had broken three toes on Saturday morning (running to answer the phone, I fell into the wall at a corner, forcibly bending the tiniest three toes of my left foot in an unnatural direction). Coffee's only exacerbating the grouchiness. My sleep has been weird too...every night for the last week or two, I wake up in the middle of the night, and lie there for several minutes, before drifting off again. And my dreams, though not memorable, have been very real-feeling and unpleasant. I can recall a dream about bugs. In my bathroom, on me...everywhere. In general, it sucks.

I like having the weekend off. I get the same luck next weekend, and then never again (without begging and butt-kissing at least two weeks in advance). Someday I'll work a job that allows me all the weekends I want. Not that I'm going to complain about work again. I'M getting sick of hearing my problems!

johari window

2006-02-15T18:44:00.000-05:00

http://kevan.org/johari?name=fannie227

The Johari Window was invented by Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingram in the 1950s as a model for mapping personality awareness. By describing yourself from a fixed list of adjectives, then asking your friends and colleagues to describe you from the same list, a grid of overlap and difference can be built up.

If you want to describe me in 5+ pre-selected adjectives, click on the link at the top of the entry. I will do the same for you.

Nothing of interest to share otherwise. It's been a dull day.

algebra + candy = x; solve for frisbee

2006-02-13T11:19:00.000-05:00

I think I'm being rewarded for surviving two weeks of hell...reward in the form of two weekends off. Not only do I have the next two Saturdays and Sundays off, but I open on both Fridays (more tasks than customers)! I close the next two Mondays, Tuesday off, open Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, then Saturday and Sunday off. This is a schedule I can work with.

One of the weekends will probably be spent in Portland. It's inevitable. Not only do I need to give my mother money, but people would like to be visited. I can't say I blame them. We're an enigmatic pairing. (joke)

I happened to be internet-chatting with Lorrie, and typed a paragraph that included two different contractions of the same three words: I typed "you aren't" and "you're not". The fact that I used both in one sentiment seemed interesting to me. Why didn't I type one of them twice? Why did I change it up? Perhaps with instances such as these, there needs to be one super-contraction: "you'r'n't". I might be the only one interested by this, and that's okay. If my sister's reaction to this reality is an accurate gauge, then I should waste no more brain cells on this.

I've been eating lots of Dum-Dums as of late, and collecting the wrappers. According to the package, you can "Save Wraps For Stuff*". Their asterisk, not mine. It's an important asterisk, one not to be dismissed. It's what tells me (after eating the pre-requisite twenty pops, and then some) that these wrappers will not give me FREE stuff, but a discount on select Dum-Dum brand products. I went to the website to see what kind of savings my gluttony had netted, and there's no clear answer. The products don't have a regular retail price. I could get a Dum Dum frisbee for "twenty wrappers plus $1! (plus $2 shipping and handling)" The T-Shirt is twenty wrappers plus $8, plus S&H. Algebraically, let x = 20 wrappers, let y = shipping and handling, and z = the item cost. Wait. The item cost is z minus x, so z can't be the item cost. z is the cash after x. So x+y+z=? Damn it, I used to be able to do crap like this. Get rid of z. x+y+8= n. Solve for n. You can't! I can't! It's still messed up. THE POINT: I'm left to assume that without the twenty wrappers, I'm barred from purchasing Dum Dum merchandise. I'm wondering if Dum Dum wrappers can be sewn together. They might make a nice handbag. Or wallpaper.

nineteen

2006-02-09T10:24:00.000-05:00

I unlocked the store again this morning, but this time for a gal who was hired around the same time I was, and is consistently late for work. So I clocked in this time. It turns out, being taken advantage of is easier to handle when one gets paid. I can't wait until everything's back to normal.

Considering all the work problems, I'm left to wonder about nineteen-year-olds. Are they all so...unreliable? Undependable? Where's the work ethic? It makes me wonder if I was the same way at nineteen. Are they all wired that way? At what age does reputation start to mean something? Even at a slave-wage corporation such as Movie Gallery, you have to work hard. Left to their own devices, nothing gets done. This job makes me feel OLD. Seriously. Never before have I stepped back to reflect on "kids today".

I'm sure there are exceptions. This is not a blanket statement, trashing all nineteens. This is aimed primarily at the staggering number of the ones I work with.

My brain chimes in, "Why are you at a job peppered with teenagers?"

I don't know, brain. I don't know.

I'm going to watch movies all afternoon until I have to go back into work. Tomorrow is my only day off this week. That is, unless Tami calls me in again. I hope she doesn't.

woof.

2006-02-08T11:36:00.000-05:00

Here's my horoscope for the week:
Happy Valentine Daze, Sagittarius! The more animal noises you make during the season of love, the better you're going to feel and the more successful you're likely to be. The astrological omens indicate that cosmic rhythms will tend to align in your favor if you express a whole range of primal feelings with moans, growls, cackling, and other non-verbal sounds. P.S. If you don't pursue this agenda with conscious intent, beastly behavior might possess you at inappropriate times, such as lion-like super-yawns in the middle of a meeting or uncontrollable yapping when you're suddenly overcome by territorial instincts.

So don't mind me if I'm spitting, growling, or bleating in the corner. I'm just expressing myself.

It's been a hellish week at work so far. There's been a medical emergency, and everyone's schedules have been thrown out of whack. I got called in yesterday, my day off, and today I had to get up to let the opener into the store. I literally rolled out of bed, threw on some pants, and walked over. All I had to do was unlock the door, right? HA! An hour and a half later, almost 30 minutes after the store opened, did he show up. I opened the store, waited on customers, shelved movies...unshowered. I looked and smelled like death. And I didn't clock in, because I figured there was no point in clocking in just to unlock a door.

Anything to help.

Yes, it'll be nice to find other work.

I'm forcing myself to read today. My books are due back the 21st, and if I don't start soon, there's no way I'm going to get through them. More blog later.

good coffee, good books, and Dutch

2006-02-07T09:57:00.000-05:00

I'm currently enjoying a steaming mugful of Green Mountain's "Golden French Toast"-flavored coffee (VERY good) and perusing my library books. That's right! LIBRARY BOOKS. I had Jeremy select them at random, because it seems like a fun game, and could result in my reading something I never would've thought to pick up otherwise. And by sharing the titles in here, it even futher forces me to read what I've been given.

-Marley and Me by John Grogan
-Early Bird by Rodney Rothman
-My Neck of the Woods by Louise Rich

Marley is a bad dog. Early Bird is "a memoir of early retirement". My Neck of the Woods is northern Maine.

I've read one book this year so far, The Pearl by John Steinbeck. I've started and stopped two other books (which I'm determined to finish at some point). It's harder to find time to read. I suppose that's why it's called a book "challenge".

I got Jeremy to watch Dutch yesterday. He liked it. But I think he knew I wanted him to like it. He didn't like it as much as I like it. I like it a lot. I've seen it on television several times since 1991. Maybe the age of first viewing has something to do with it, but I know no one who agrees that Dutch is funny. For me, before Dutch, Ed O'Neill was a talentless hack. But that all changed A.D. (after Dutch).

Okay. Enough aimless jibber-jabber for today.

if a dog craps in a video store and no one sees it...

2006-02-01T15:14:00.000-05:00

...then it was a different dog in a different video store. I worked for an hour today, my day off, and while I was there a little yappy dog came in. Before it's owner had completed the transaction, the pup had shit near the entrance. It was either the dog or Patrick, but it far outmassed my co-worker's previous stools. I do sympathize with the embarrassed woman, who politely and apologetically cleaned up her pooch's spoils. Shit happens (pun not intended until pun made itself known, at which point pun was celebrated and raised to the heavens for praise).

I just sat down with my first coffee of the day, and am startled by the likeness in flavor to my Uncle Albert and Aunt Dele's house circa 1985...rather, the smell of the taste. If I had any ambition whatsoever, I'd study how smell and taste combine and switch off where memory is concerned. I bet it's fascinating stuff. I would think that tastes such as homemade baked beans and Canadian mints would be my tongue's memory-trigger. Or cherry 7-Up. Instead, it's a combination of Avon products, carpet sweepers, and age. Age tastes a little stale, in case you were wondering. But the chocolate non-dairy creamer really steps it up.

Things have been fairly dull. The turnaround at work is impressively high, with two more of the new hires leaving for assorted reasons. Other than being the only job I can hold in walking distance, I have a feeling that Tami would have a meltdown if I were to give notice. Not that I don't think about it daily. But she's getting one day off per week at best already, and I'm still her only other closer. I wish I hated Tami, because I wouldn't feel like I owed her any help I could give. We did get word that the former managers of Jay and Farmington Movie Galleries are coming back to the company. They can't go back to their original stores, so they're switching places. It'll be nice to have people who don't need to train in the store, but it also means that if we do move up two revenue classes next quarter, I'm no longer the most likely candidate for Assistant Store Manager. Again, it's not my dream job, but I'd be full time and have benefits...nice things for a job I can walk to. Well, I would've. I'll be hovering around minimum wage for the duration of my MG employ. (did I use "employ" right? it sounds smart enough to me, so i'm going with it.)

I don't do much other than work and watch television. I need a hobby, so I have other things to write about. Felicity hasn't been on for the last week and a half, but the DVR says it's starting back up soon.. What the dilly, We?? I'm hoping we're still blessed with way too many channels in March. (HBO = THE SOPRANOS!)

I'm exhausting, hmm? I'll wrap it up. First, though, I'll tell you that Corpse Bride is quite good. I'll also tell you that though I can't vouch for the film's quality, I learned a lot about Enron from the new documentary that came out this week. Let me just say, poor Gray Davis! The extent of the corruption was far greater than I could've imagined. And In Her Shoes is just as sisterly-lovey as I wanted it to be, while managing to be a completely different movie than anticipated.

this year, i am resolute!

2006-01-17T14:57:00.000-05:00

Every new year I start off with a short, non-specific list of resolutions which I subsequently abandon by start-of-day January 2nd. With this year feeling figuratively bigger and potentially better than any other, I wanted to do my resolutions right. So by drastically overthinking each one, and getting myself out of the timeframe where 98% of the population falters, I'm a step closer to guaranteeing success. Potentially.

1) Eat healthier.
This one was not a conscious decision, but moreso my body screaming for nutrients not attained by a constant diet of coffee and hot dogs. It was early in the month still when I saw a character on television eating a grapefruit, and immediately wanted one. Not an "oh, a grapefruit might be tasty!" sane kind of wanting, but an angry, desperate desire. There was yelling at no one in particular about how Hannaford closes at 9:00, thusly denying citrus fruits to the community as a whole. A few days later, I strode purposefully away from the candy aisle to attain prices and availability of veggie platters. I've historically been minerally abusive to my body. This sudden craving for fresh produce is my subconscious last-ditch effort to get right with itself before I turn 30, and everything starts going downhill. It's like my body is a bomb shelter, and there's a nuclear war coming, but I'm still dangerously low on canned goods and Tang.

2) Exercise.
When dirty jeans have a just-washed fit, one begins to realize they're losing the battle. I thought I had this one beat last year, because I purchased DVDs of Pilates. Couple the fact that pilates are EXTREMELY hard and not fun with my intense dislike of Mari Winsor, and you'll be as unsurprised as I am that the exercise resolution last year derailed itself within a week. This resolution is deceptively tricky, and the results depend heavily on the success of my other resolutions. Luckily, I'm pretty gung-ho about the other ones, so hopefully exercise will work itself out. And walking is easy enough when the temperature's right.

3) Read 50 books this year.
I never would've thought to set a number, but since everyone and their uncle is doing the 50 books list, it seems like a worthy goal. I'm off to a horrendous start, what with January being half over, and no way to get to the library. Reading books I own feels like cheating. Not that we don't have a slew of very shitty literature in the attic, the remnants of our Library Book Sale expeditions. Beggars can't be choosers. I'll probably rummage through them later. I just won't share the list next year.

4) Set a leg shaving schedule.
Sorry, people who don't care. It's a resolution. Right now I'm averaging twice a year, and that's just not going to work anymore. I'm extremely lazy, and don't like to exert effort. Showers are exhausting enough before having to worry about the acrobatics that go into leg shaving. Don't expect me to stand in a tub full of water on one leg while wielding a sharp object and not come out seriously injured. I'm just not that gifted. And you couldn't pay me to try waxing my legs. I attempted that once, and am of the opinion that waxing is punishment for sinners. Hell is full of silky-smooth, baby-soft demons. So this year, I'm going to step up to the plate, and vow to set a regular schedule. How regular will depend on various factors that I won't trouble anyone with, but at least once a month? Maybe?

That's all for 2006. I'm not going to overwhelm myself. The four resolutions I've got here are basic, but tricky enough for this year. Next year I'll branch out, be a little more creative and adventurous. Or I'll try these ones again. Because I'm not out the woods yet - I've got 11 1/2 months left to fail.

two evils

2006-01-14T10:17:00.000-05:00

Friday the 13th and the full moon.

Two things I generally pay little attention to. Sure, I'll pretend like it affects my life in some way/shape/form. Separately.

Together, they pack a powerful, damaging punch.

Here's the list:
-fell down (not just a stumble, but WIPED OUT!) twice. In my house.
-accidentally kicked the radio. hard. there was blood.
-was unable to turn my head to the left, or even suggest the left as a viable directional option.
-discovered a crack in my windshield.
-was pulled over because the officer thought my exhaust might have a leak. he then discovered that i don't have insurance or an inspection sticker. was ticketed, might lose my license...yar. (we were coming back from cumberland farms, having just picked up our dinner.)

I didn't know about the full moon until 6:00 last night. If I had, I would've called out sick, and stayed home, wrapped tightly in a blanket, curled up in the fetal position in the darkest corner of the attic.

book list '05

2006-01-06T09:20:00.000-05:00

Only after reading Jim's blog did I realize that my 2005 Book List is done. I had hoped to squeeze a few more titles in, with the hopes of making it longer and smarter-looking. But what can I do now? Submit it. I didn't follow the whole 50 books list concept the way others did. I didn't write anything about the books I read. Which is why I'll attempt a sentence or two here. Because I've got nothing but time today.

Let me acknowledge and thank the Seattle Public Library for a large chunk of these titles, and also thanks to the Jay-Niles Memorial Library. A lot of fun for a little library.

And now, in chronological order:

1. MY LIFE IN HIGH HEELS by Loni Anderson
Very clear that she's trying to clear up the lies that spawned from her very public, very messy divorce from Burt Reynolds, this proved to be an interesting read. She comes off as down-to-earth, and very likeable. I learned that she totally nailed Gary Sandy for two years during WKRP in Cincinnatti (which surprised me, because I always took him for a Jan Smithers-type).

2. GRACIE: A LOVE STORY by George Burns
George Burns is old and sweet and loved his wife. I mean, he was old and sweet and loved his wife. Well-written. I finished this book in a day.

3. A SERIOUS PERSON by Orland Outland
I was surprised by this one. Always kind of a sucker for what I'd describe as the novelization of a gay romantic comedy, Orland Outland combines the stuff that makes for the best beach reads with issues and sentiments that force your brain into gear. Very much worth the mocking I endured (I will admit, the covers scream "fluffy love book").

4. MY WIFE AND MY DEAD WIFE by Michael Kun
I have a hard time when a book ends unsatisfactorily. By unsatisfactorily, I mean not the way I wanted it to end. It was a good book that I enjoyed almost all the way through. I enjoyed it enough to seek out his other book, which I didn't finish.

5. EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF by Orland Outland
Notice that? One book between the two Orland Outland novels? That was intentional. I thought it'd look obsessive if I read them back-to-back. Again, there were guilty pleasure aspects, some stuff that almost didn't work, but was generally validated by the end. And more issues and thinking! I started noticing the pattern in this one. The hard-hitting stuff starts readily presenting itself about 3/4ths of the way through. He doesn't want to beat you over the head with his opinions, but he wants to make sure you're thoroughly sucked in before serving up his opinions on culture and society. This took no more than a weekend.

6. ORACLE NIGHT by Paul Auster
I consider Paul Auster to be my most worthwhile discovery of 2005. I picked this one up randomly, because the cover seemed mysterious. And with a title like "Oracle Night", I was willing to try it. And it was every bit worth it. He relies on footnotes in this book, but he rarely abuses it. I didn't get to read any of his other books this year. Seattle Public Library had one other title, and I didn't get a chance to read it (I owe SPL money for it, actually). And Jay has none of Paul Auster's books.

7. THE TIME TRAVELER'S WIFE by Nina Niffenegger
Not exactly the kind of book I read, it's overly lovey. But it wasn't bad. I didn't dislike it. After reading it, it started appearing on lists, so I was glad that I read something people are talking about.

8. LITTLE CHILDREN by Tom Perrotta
This is the first Tom Perrotta book I've actually read. It was great. I'll leave it at that.

9. DEATH WORE A SMART LITTLE OUTFIT by Orland Outland
I looked Orland Outland up on the internet after reading and enjoying two of his novels. It was then I learned that he had written a series of Doan-and-Binky mysteries. Not sure what that meant, I was still desperate to locate one, if not all of them. No luck with Seattle Public Library. I struck gold randomly at Half-Price Books in Lynnwood. I bought this for $1. I was somewhat disappointed by it. I eventually sold it. The concept still amuses me, and I can't say I'm not tempted to try the second book of the series. First books, like series pilots, are a little clunky, and overly introductory. Maybe it gets better? I'm not holding my breath.

10. P IS FOR PERIL by Sue Grafton
This is the first mystery writer (other than your Agatha Christies or Sir Arthur Conan Doyles) who hasn't horrified me with terrible writing. She weaves a nice web, and doesn't try to be too clever. This was another $1 book I bought in Lynnwood, drawn by the name after seeing it on Jim's list. Thanks for sharing, Jim!

11. THE BEST LAID PLANS by Sidney Sheldon
Terrible book. I loved every minute of it.

12. G IS FOR GUMSHOE by Sue Grafton
Still good.

13. SUMMER SISTERS by Judy Blume
I'm continually conflicted by Judy Blume's "adult" novels. I don't mean Wifey adult, but you know. Aimed at grown-ups. I was sucked into this book, but I didn't necessarily like it. It had its moments. It was a little risque (if that's how you spell it? risk-AY!). Very L-I-T-E lite read. Or this: I enjoyed it, but didn't like it.

14. MAGICAL THINKING by Augusten Burroughs
I've actually read this book in its entirety three times this year alone. And once last year, right after purchasing it. There are few authors who can write autobiographically-based short stories and end with me desperately wanting to befriend them. Jeremy was quick to point out that no way in hell would Augusten Burroughs be able to tolerate me. He's not wrong. But I can dream, can't I?

15. J IS FOR JUDGEMENT by Sue Grafton
Seriously, it's just the thing sometimes. A good mystery. She doesn't beg you to solve it, she just takes you along for the ride.

16. R IS FOR RICOCHET by Sue Grafton
It was July. We were unemployed and staying with Jeremy's parents. His mother and I handed these off to each other as soon as we were finished with them.

17. RUNNING WITH SCISSORS by Augusten Burroughs
This guy is amazing.

18. DRY by Augusten Burroughs
I read Running With Scissors in a day, then immediately followed it up with Dry. It's totally the way to read these. One of my re-reads of Magical Thinking came immediately after I was done with this one...it makes it even more powerful.

19. A IS FOR ALIBI by Sue Grafton
I was worried about reading the first book of the series after already reading later installments. But this title was pretty solid.

20. EATS, SHOOTS AND LEAVES by Lynne Truss
The funniest punctuation and grammar book you'll ever read!!! I'm constantly afraid of boo-boos as a result. I appreciate her appreciation, and can stand even less to be exposed to anything involving the movie Two Weeks' Notice.

21. BOOKENDS by Jane Green
Eh. Two words: Chick Lit.

22. THE SEVEN SPIRITUAL LAWS OF SUCCESS by Deepak Chopra
The first and probably the last Deepak Chopra book I'll ever read. Not that it wasn't interesting. But it almost feels a little too self-helpy to enjoy. A lot of the concepts are the same as polarity, which was interesting and familiar.

23. A LONG WAY DOWN by Nick Hornby
Not his best book, but I enjoyed it enough. It'd probably make a better movie. I couldn't cast it in my head though. I'm open to suggestions if anyone else has read this.

24. LIFE OF PI by Yann Martel
Once you get through the first 30-50 pages, you will not put the book down. I desperately need to think about the book, but I don't want what I think is the case to BE the case. I can't be clear without ruining the book. I love it, and fear that thinking about it too hard will only depress me.

25. THE FIVE PEOPLE YOU MEET IN HEAVEN by Mitch Albom
I was curious, okay??? It wasn't as awful as I thought it would be.

26. FRIED GREEN TOMATOES AT THE WHISTLE STOP CAFE by Fannie Flagg
I daresay, without having previously read any of her books, I have underestimated Fannie Flagg. I think I've already used the phrase "weave a web" somewhere in this list, but she does. And it's charming. And good. And I didn't want it to end.

27. ME TALK PRETTY ONE DAY by David Sedaris
I've read this several times. I banged it out again on the flight to California. After I finished, I started reading Magical Thinking again.

Twenty-seven books. It felt like more, looked like less... it averages out. Cable has been my downfall. I did nothing but read before we got television hooked up. This year will be different. I've still got access to a decent library. It's not huge, but it's got variety. It's better than Portland Public Library, I can tell you that!

That was kind of fun. I can't speak for you, dear reader. But I had a good time.

TV loves 2006

2006-01-05T13:02:00.000-05:00

2005 is done. And I have yet to correctly write the correct year on any document. It wasn't this hard last year. Actually, the transition from '04 to '05 was extremely easy. Instead of looking at is as age-related memory loss, I'll take it as an omen. The trickier the changeover, the better the year will be. I've got nothing to complain about as of yet.

We had invitations to Portland and Millinocket for the New Year, which would've been fine if I didn't open the video store New Year's Day. We went to the home of some of our Jay friends, and had a pretty good time. I was the DD, so I cut myself off after my second cider jack (no drunkenness, but still ended up sick the next morning. what a terrible drink!).

I'm getting used to being stranded at the apartment. I'm better about keeping myself entertained. A lot of it centers around podcasts (The Ricky Gervais Show!!!!) and playing Chuzzle for hours on end. It also involves a new TV show. New to me. Cancelled a couple years ago. I stumbled across the first episode of a marathon, and checked it out, purely out of curiosity. And proceeded to watch the marathon in its entirety. I now record the two episodes per day that air on the Women's Entertainment network. I'm not stalling. I'm not ashamed. It's Felicity.

That's right, Felicity. Keri Russell, Scott Speedman, Scott Foley, the pink power ranger ... I remember watching the pilot when it first aired, and not hating it. But then sometimes, when you aren't immediately drawn by a show, you lose track of it, and suddenly you don't care anymore. That's what happpened. But talk about coming back with a vengeance! I stopped on the episode because noon isn't a hotbed of quality television programming. After being pulled in, I consulted the schedule and found that there was another episode coming up. And another. And then another. And I can't tell you I wasn't delighted (I could, but it'd be a big fat lie). I sat on the couch for six hours, watching the Felicity marathon (the last six episodes of the final season!). I was still unshowered and in pajamas 15 minutes prior to Jeremy's arrival home that day. Allow me to say I'm not obsessed with this show, though everything I just typed probably argues the opposite. It's a very good show. But it doesn't come close to touching on the brilliance of the first several seasons of Ally McBeal. Or Northern Exposure. Surely not Gilmore Girls either. Though I have cried at Felicity three times since I've started watching. And in researching Felicity on the internet (yes, shut up.) I've found a lot of creative links to Alias, House, and Scrubs. I already enjoy Scrubs, and this encourages me to give the other two shows a try. It's the best way to find new shows. After I had become addicted to Gilmore Girls, I learned about all the incestuous creative commonalities between it and Family Guy. The writers! The producers! The actors! I was surprised, and equally not surprised. Great shows hide well in the sea of crap that makes up most of television these days. You've got to dig deep to find worthwhile options. Because when television is good, it's truly great. And when it's bad, it's devastating.

Jeremy took overtime this week, so he's been working 9-7. His check is going to be one of silk, written out in gold ink. It also means that on days off (which now fall every other day, thanks to not being able to work over 20 hours anymore), I'm here alone from 7:30a.m. until just after 8:00p.m. It's not as long as I expected it to feel. I'm a first-rate putterer. Only a fourth-class tidier, but I'm working on it.

play on?

2005-12-31T08:11:00.000-05:00

Things are changing at the Jay Movie Gallery.

I'm pretty sure I mentioned before the likelihood of our store going up a revenue class, resulting in a promotion for me, with benefits and more hours and a higher wage. You know. All the stuff that goes with a promotion.

Change of plans.

As of last night, we're going DOWN a revenue class. So not only will I not be getting a promotion any time soon, but everyone will be getting fewer hours. If I, in a given week, am scheduled for 20 hours or more, Tami will be written up. Already the effects are being felt. I'm working 19 hours next week. And to make matters worse, Anna gave her notice. To keep me under 20 hours, she's bringin in MODs from Farmington to help out. Because I can't be overworked. And no one else on staff can open and close the store yet.

I need to find a different job.

If I look in the Lewiston/Auburn area, then I could commute with Jeremy, making the one-car issue a non-issue. That would involve finding a similar shift though. But then once we get a second vehicle, we're both fueling up twice a week, which is costly. And moving is a pain in the ass. If we scale back to one move a year, I'd be happy.

I hate when plans fall through. Seriously. I should be starting school, which would've made less work acceptable (since financial aid would fill in the gap left from wages unearned). And though Jeremy's got a decent job now, I don't want him to have to support us. We should be buying electronics and junk food with the surplus! Or saving up for something fun. I haven't given that aspect much thought. But I'm drifting from the point. Actually, I think I'm done with the point.

We bought chocolate non-dairy creamer yesterday. VERY VERY WORTHWHILE PURCHASE! It's like drinking a mocha, but without the extra effort. Coffee like candy makes Annie's a shiny happy New Year!

2005 holiday roundup

2005-12-27T13:06:00.000-05:00

'Twas a unique holiday, for certain.

Two weeks prior to Christmas, I received a call from Peter (that's my brother-in-law, in case anyone forgot), saying that he and Lorrie were coming to Maine to surprise everyone for Christmas. And that they needed to be picked up from Portland Jetport at 11:29 P.M. Christmas Eve. And could I possibly do it? Turns out I could! So Christmas Eve we went to Portland to pick up Lorrie and Peter, and immediately drove to Springvale from there, to surprise my mother. We arrived just after midnight. We pounded on the door, and rang the bell as obnoxiously as you would imagine my sister and I are capable of. Mom opened the door, and immediately started crying. Success! From there, their plan was to abduct Mom and make her bring Lorrie and Peter to Milford, to surprise Peter's parents. 30 minutes after arrival, that's exactly what they did. Mom offered the house to us so we could sleep before I had to work tomorrow, but we figured it'd be less hassle to drive back that night. We got to Jay sometime after 3:00 A.M., and went to bed.

Then GOOD MORNING, CHRISTMAS! I was scheduled to work from 3-6. Our plan for the morning and evening otherwise was to watch Dallas all day. But our precious gift from Adelphia changed all that. See, we paid off our cable last week, and I decided to downgrade our service to regular cable, but add DVR as a treat. It was still $35 cheaper per month. Anyway! We exchanged our digital box for a DVR box on the 23rd. Upon hooking it up, we got a surprise: every channel. The regular 80-channel cable we're paying for, PLUS all the digital channels, and every premium channel you can think of! And the ability to record programs off all of them!! We knew that this magnificent gift from god wasn't going to last, that Adelphia would get hip to their boo-boo by the time offices re-opened on the 27th. So we have been recording movies, shows, specials, shit we don't plan to watch, shit we should watch but will become bored with... so Christmas Day was the first day we enjoyed our cable booty. Straight Talk, Cooley High, and the entire season of Breaking Bonaduce. We watched a Christmas special about Christmas specials off of Trio, and 'Twas the Night Before Christmas (the one with the mice who sing the song "you (something), and I'll (something else)"). We've got a bunch of stuff waiting to be watched, like Sleepaway Camp 2 and 3, Ninja III: The Domination, a special about the "Big Dig", Polyester, Rhinestone, Cutter's Way, not to mention a spattering of series subscriptions. Not to mention the stuff that's not here yet (like the biography of Patrick Swayze!). Stuff that will filter in every hour, on the hour. I'm exhausted with glee and satisfaction. We had an equally satisfying, though slightly overpriced meal of macaroni and cheese with red hot dogs sliced into it for Christmas dinner, courtesy of Cumberland Farms, the only other establishment other than Movie Gallery that was open in Jay that day.

Jeremy had the 26th off, because he's got the kind of job now that gives him days off for holidays even if the holiday doesn't fall on a work day. I had to open that day, and it was a shift of projects and coffee-drinking. Tami and I got to hang out in the office most of the day and file paperwork, while Andrea ran a register. A perfect Monday. More television was watched. Hamburger Helper was prepared and eaten, with garlic bread and chewy Chips Ahoy! cookies. An enjoyable meal.

Today is back to business. It's our four year dating-aversary. Dataversary. Annadatingry. To celebrate, we will work at our jobs, and watch more of the beautiful television. Life is good.

celebrating 100 pots!

2005-12-17T08:44:00.000-05:00

*bells and whistles*
*streamers and candy*

This morning I'm making my 100th pot of coffee since we've been in Jay - it's the last filter in the pack. And we didn't use any of them for paper towels or napkins (which we tended to do every so often in Washington, cheapening the 100-pot victory).

This morning I'll watch The Exorcism of Emily Rose (coming to your local video store/internet movie list Tuesday!). When Jeremy gets home sometime after 2:00, we're going to go see a movie at the theater! No clue what yet. Probably King Kong or the Narnia film. Or who knows! I have no clue what else might be playing at a theater near me.

I've seen some terrible movies in the recent past. I can enthusiastically tell you to avoid Must Love Dogs (which I liken to a black hole) and Rebound (I will never understand how Martin Lawrence makes money). And if you happen upon the new Snoop Dogg vehicle BossNUp, immediately put the movie back where it was and call 911. In a word, I'd call it a musical. Given the luxury of an entire sentence fragment, I'd call it a huge letdown.

If you can find it, you should rent Saint Ralph. It's Canadian, and Campbell Scott is very Campbell Scotty in it. And it's one of my new favorite movies. I'm not vouching for cinematic whoozits and whatnots, because I was too busy being sucked in to the story. One or two of the scenes are unnecessary, but that won't effect the overall feel. It's funny and heartwarming and just good. Not that you asked, but still.

And Roll Bounce is worth watching.

I'm stopping here, at the risk of turning into Richard Roeper. *shudder*

christmas

2005-12-15T08:01:00.000-05:00

There's a price one pays for gainful employment.

Jay Christmas, the stressfest that was scheduled to start this weekend, has been postponed indefinitely. Jeremy's new job involves extensive training...six weeks of it generally. Of course, since the company Jeremy works for is SO busy and doing SO good, they need people trained ASAP and have condensed the training into three weeks. Which means weekends. Which also means time-and-a-half this Saturday, as they had to spring it on everyone last-minute. But it also means that I would be left to tend to Christmas by myself. Between not being able to afford Christmas and not wanting family to spend the weekend at our apartment, we had no problem nixing the event. Jeremy's parents seemed relieved. My mother seemed disappointed.

So we'll maybe do something small and last-minute, which is perfectly okay by me. This isn't the year for a big ol' Christmas. Maybe a Dallas marathon, punctuated with egg nog and pizza. (that might be the first time I've ever written the word punctuated. I had to look it up to confirm the spelling. Thanks, www.dictionary.com!)

I just finished Al Franken's The Truth (with jokes). WOW! The second half will blow you away. Read it. If you have a chance, I mean. Sorry, I don't mean to dictate your actions. Please stop looking at me.

home alone (no culkins in sight)

2005-12-12T11:23:00.000-05:00

Jeremy is at work. At least I hope he's at work, having been able to clearly navigate the internet directions to his place of employment.

It's not that we entertain each other much most weekday mornings, but his lack of presence is duly noted, and I have no idea what to do with my day. I slept as long as was humanly possible (I got up at ten), provided that our inflatable bed is slowly dying (I woke up on the floor, surrounded by half-inflated bed parts...I was in the inflate-a-bed valley, if you will). So I finished writing about California (obviously, it's right there. I'm not telling you anything you don't already know), and am at a loss. Maybe I should watch a movie. Take a long shower. Jog in place a bit. I don't work until five. I could make a CD or something.

I AM SO BORED!!!

My birthday had more celebration to it than I would've anticipated. Emily threw a small get-together during our scheduled craft time (on Wednesday the 7th), and made mac 'n' cheese with hot dogs. She also supplied me with my first egg nog sullied by something other than coffee. Rum-pa-pum pum! It wasn't too bad really. It was maybe a little rummier than I was ready for, but I can see why festive merrymakers have deemed this a beverage of choice. I got to see some Portland pals, and it was good. We went to the Videoport Christmas Party from there, and had a pretty good time. I maintained my sobriety enough to drive back home afterward, as I had to be at Movie Gallery at 7:00 a.m. on Thursday. That was fun too, actually. Tami bought a box of coffee and a dozen doughnuts from Dunkin' Donuts. We scanned items and made merry. That night Jeremy and I each drank a bottle of champagne to start celebrating my birthday early (since I worked the night of the 9th). 4/5th of the way through the bottle, my mother called. I talked to her for 45 minutes, virtually without stress.

The ninth was the day Jeremy got official word on his employment status. That was a nice present.

Today's Monday. Jeremy has the car, and is at work, working, in Lewiston. He is earning a living wage, and we can pay bills soon.

I've got nothing, people. I am going to find something to do.

california, part 3: increasingly passionless narrative

2005-12-12T10:56:00.000-05:00

Very quickly, as I've waited too long and no longer care about accurately recording the trip:

Saturday we went to Hobee's for breakfast. They gave me a continent-sized piece of coffee cake with my already well-balanced, food-intensive meal. I got about three bites in before hitting my limit. From there we went to the Rose Garden. San Jose has one, and it's really amazing if you care a lick about gardening. I recommend going in the spring. I took lots of pictures for my and Jeremy's moms, as they love that kind of stuff. I amused myself with pictures of the restrooms and the icy stainless steel toilet seats, and dead flowers.

We drove to Santa Cruz and walked the boardwalk. It was like the picture you have of Califonia from watching it on television. It felt fake. We bypassed the world's largest avocado (not that a quick peek didn't have my vote), and drove back along Route 1. I saw lots of ocean hitting rocky cliffs. That night we went to Henry and Lisa's, where we (read: I) got drunk (not intentionally. Lisa makes an impressively mixerless mixed drink) and had dinner. We watched a movie in their movie theater, then Henry gave me the technology tour of the house. There's a lot of detail I don't remember anymore, but it was amazing. Henry is some kind of technological genius. Everything's wired to something, and he has these extra rooms he makes out of the desire to do something different...I can't even explain it anymore. The technology tour is the one part of this narration that suffers from time. We left just before one, and went immediately to sleep upon arriving home.

Sunday was a calm day. Peter went to Apple, and Lorrie and I watched television. In the afternoon, we went to Valley Fair (I think it what it was called?), the nearby mall, and she bought me some Origins products as an early birthday present. Peter picked us up, and we went back to their place. We tried Alton Brown's mac 'n' cheese recipe for dinner, but I think we used too potent a mustard seed. (brown instead of yellow? I think Lorrie said it makes a difference?) It was okay. We also had some exceptionally good spinach-artichoke dip. Peter retired early that night, and Lorrie and I got a chance to have some quality chitchat. And watch more TV. And a movie. We stayed up plenty late.

The next morning, Peter worked the morning at Apple, and Lorrie (who had the day off) and I slept. At 11:00 they brought me to the airport and took off. I went in and got settled. While having my luggage scanned, an alarm went off nearby. No less than fifty airport employees yelled "FREEZE!" and started charging toward the woman who must've set it off. The airport was silent for minutes after that. Everything stopped, and I stood and shoelessly waited to find out what the hell was going on. About ten minutes later, people started trickling back to the stations they were manning, and things started moving again. I never found out what happened, but it was one of the scariest things I've ever experienced. I got on the plane fine, and sat with an older couple from outside Portland, Oregon. We chatted on and off for the duration of the flight. We got to Boston at 10:30 p.m., where I waited two hours for my bus (it was 45 minutes late. I was convinced I had missed it). It came, we got to Portland at 2:00 a.m., and Jeremy was already there. We drove back to Jay, arriving at 3:30 a.m. I had the next day off, thankfully. And that was my trip.

not dead yet!

2005-12-04T11:53:00.000-05:00

I will not be attending school this spring.

The question is, "Now what?"

Hopefully Jeremy will get this job...we'll find out sometime this week, I imagine. That'd be a reason to stay in the area. I also have the option of staying at Movie Gallery and becoming assistant manager (Tami has informed me that as soon as we move up a revenue class, she's allowed an assistant manager, and she'd like for it to me be). Then I, too, would have a job with benefits and paid vacations, sick days and so on. I'm not sure climbing the Movie Gallery ladder is what I want to do. Jeremy suggested applying at Orono again, and I'm not sold on it. Though it would be easier to get in. Of course, I'm not ready to find out otherwise. One rejection from a UMaine-system school per year, thanks.

I might apply to CMCC. Chuck my other 64 credits out the window, and start afresh towards an associates degree in early childhood education. It's cheaper. Or maybe I should reconsider school altogether.

It's December. The first half of this month is going to be full. My dad's coming to visit Tuesday (unless it snows, in which case he'll come Monday night and stay over, possibly until Wednesday morning. Or he'll show up on the 9th, before I go to work). We'll be in Portland on Wednesday the 7th to make gifts with Emily, then head to the Videoport Christmas Party that night. From there we'll immediately drive home, as I'll have to work at 7:00 a.m. the next day (it's an inventory shift, which means no customers and MAYBE no uniform. And scanning things with Tami. It's a good time, seriously.) I'll work straight through my birthday and into the following week, to prepare for the stress extravaganza that will be Jay Christmas! Our parents, here. Overnight. For a holiday. There's a lot of cleaning to be done, drugs to be taken, traffic to be jumped into... It might be okay. It'll be one day shorter than originally anticipated (which upsets and depresses my mother, but she'll come around eventually. She has no choice.) But after that, we're done. The last two weeks of December are empty. If Jeremy gets the job, he said we'd have an awesome Christmas.

I am fully ready to be done with 2005. I think it's fair to say that Jeremy and I have almost survived the worst year of our lives. 2005, and 26, have been huge letdowns. Into the trash with them! 2006 will be full of rewarding employment, and meals at restaurants. 27 will be the age for rewarding life choices. Though I'll settle for delivery and a steady paycheck. That's why I'm eee-zaaaay (ah ah ah ahh)...

(I'll wrap up California soon. It's been a full week here at the ranch.)

california, part 2: the adventure begins!

2005-11-30T11:28:00.000-05:00

We stayed at Jim and Jhawn's place Thursday night, since my bus was leaving quite early the next morning, and the closer I could get to the bus station, the better. Unfortunately, sleep didn't come quickly, and when 3:15 a.m. arrived, I was in immense pain. I showered, drank coffee, and got to the bus station for 4:30 (the recommended time to assure me a spot on the 5:00 a.m. bus to Logan Airport). I read and listened to Concord Trailways radio on the ride down. I was also privvy to various stages of the sunrise, which was quite nice.

I got to Boston at 7:00, which left me two hours to kill before the flight. I checked in, found the gate, and sat down. I had three dollars to my name, and spent it on a bagel and coffee from Dunkin' Donuts, and a package of Certs (so if forced to small talk with strangers, I wouldn't immediately offend them with my mouth). A woman named Ann chatted with me a little, and then asked me to watch her coat and bag while she went to find the bathroom. Forty minutes later, she came back. We also ended up talking to an older woman from Bethel, who would get my attention by saying "Hey! Girl from Jay!". The plane started boarding at 8:30. I was next to a young, clean-looking, well-traveled couple. They were extremely snobby, and we didn't exchange words. My seat was on the aisle, and any time I came near the arm rest between my seat and that of young pretty-man, he'd tense up. Not that I wanted contact with him any more than he seemed to want contact with me, but I new then and there that there'd be no sleeping for me on this flight. Luckily there was a movie. Unluckily, they were charging $2 for headphones, and I had spent my cash on breakfast and breath-freshner. OOPS! So I attempted lip-reading to try watching Must Love Dogs, but gave up almost immediately, and settled in with Augusten Burroughs (Magical Thinking is my airplane book. I've read it three or four times at least, but it's always good). It was a long, l-o-n-g flight, and I was exhausted when we finally got to San Francisco. It was 12:30 PST. Peter wasn't immediately findable, so I took the opportunity to pee and stick my face in a sink. I met up with my brother-in-law on my way to the escalator. He'd been at the baggage claim (I didn't check bags, since I'm a compact packer, and fit everything into a small duffel bag). He talked a lot about work on the drive, and I attempted to small-talk back and take pictures. I didn't do very well on either count. Peter took me to Apple, and I got to see his cubicle. I got to see Henry and Lisa again for the first time since Lorrie and Peter's wedding. Peter bought me lunch at the fancy Apple cafeteria (he told me a story about how when Steve Jobs came back to Apple, one of the first orders of business was to improve the meal quality. So now a catering company runs the cafeteria, and make this amazing food.) I got a pizza, and it was good. After some walking around, Peter took me back to their apartment to settle and watch TV while he finished work. We decided I'd be quietly sitting on the couch when he and Lorrie arrived home. I had planned to take a nap, but by the time I was actually at Lorrie's apartment, I was getting my second wind. So I watched television. Around 5:30, they approached the door. It opened, and there was Peter. Lorrie, thinking there was a prowler, was peeking around him, and I peered over the top of the couch and gave her a stupid grin. Then she started screaming. Loudly. Excitedly. Screaming and jumping, and very quickly moving toward me WHILE screaming and jumping. Peter told her to quiet down for fear that the neighbors will think that he beats her. I told her that if she wanted to continue screaming, she might want to do it further away from my face. But it was awesome. I had told Peter she'd scream, but I think he expected tears and subdued joy. But Lorrie's a screaming jumper.

That night we went out to the Mandarin Gourmet, which was excellent. We went back to their apartment after that, and watched some TV. By 8:00p.m. PST, I was starting to fall asleep sitting up. I had been up since midnight pacific time, and was working off of three hours of sleep. So at 9:00, Lorrie accepted that I was not going to be any fun that night, and let me go to bed. We made tentative plans for Saturday (Winchester Mystery House?) and Sunday (San Francisco?). I fell asleep the instant she and Peter left the room.

california, part 1: the plan

2005-11-26T10:55:00.000-05:00

This is from my Diaryland blog, which was resurrected briefly (since it was the only one Lorrie has no access to). From October 28th, 2005 at 1:07 p.m.

So I think this may be the only blog my sister doesn't know about. And the reason zero-access is required is because my new brother-in-law is flying me out to them in Santa Clara to surprise her for her birthday (belatedly)! And, stupid me, not forseeing a secret-surprise California trip in my future that I'd want to write about, gave my sister access to my blogs.

Peter (aka Bil2) called me three days ago and asked if I could fly out the weekend of November 4, as Lorrie's birthday is the 5th. With work wanting scheduling conflicts two weeks in advance, I was unable to accommodate. But we settled on November 18-21...all I pay for is a bus ticket to Boston.

In case I've been unclear or unwilling to relay facts, my sister and Bil2 got married on September 24, and a week later they moved to California so Peter could work for Apple and make mucho dinero (a lot of money, i think? right?) so they can come back to Maine in 5-7 years and build a home mortgage free (it's an obsession of theirs, mortgage-free living. I, for one, plan to have the mightiest, mortgagiest of home loans possible, and I will pay on it until the day I die. As long as it doesn't mean saving money. I can't save a hundred dollars, let alone hundreds of thousands of dollars).

So I'm going to California. I wasn't able to really get a feel for the state from driving through it, and I've been told that Barstow, our California pit stop on the way to Washington, is not a good example of California living. Thank GOD, can I just say. I will hopefully visit the Winchester Mystery House, which I've read so much about in the last three days. I will go to Safeway and Albertsons again and laugh at their horrendous prices. I will bask in sun and stucco, and breathe deep the Pacific vapors and smog. Though I think the smog might just be an LA thing. And I know Los Angeles is nowhere near where I'm going to be. Thank GOD, can I just say. Though I wouldn't mind hob-nobbing with the Hollywood elite. I know they'd love me. I'd be quiet and unassuming at first, then we'd secure sizeable cups of coffee and I'd let loose and impress them all with my acerbic wit and energetic dance moves.

Exciting. It's like a birthday present for me as much as it is for Lorrie. Two weeks past her birthday, two and a half weeks before mine.

It's a secret though. I trust you, the general public, inherently.

Also noteable, but unrelated: I have secured my first half-gallon of egg nog. I'm opting for light egg nog this year, which touts 50% less fat than regular egg nog. Couple that with the month and a half of abstaining, I will not gain 20 lbs. this holiday season. I'm don't have the math enough to give you an equation, but I'm going to put my money on a weight gain of no more than 7 lbs. Probably no more than 5 lbs., but I'm not going to set myself up for failure.

grilled cheese chowder dreams

2005-11-25T09:08:00.000-05:00

I dreamed weirdly last night! Weirdly in that they were fairly cohesive, and clearly plotted.
There was a quick, uninteresting dream in which Shanae, the former manager of Movie Gallery, was still working with us. I came in for a shift after her. I took over Tami's drawer, but hadn't closed her out of it. I kept saying I'd do it after the next transaction. Near the end of the night, I realized I was screwed, because all our transactions were one, and our statistics were going to be messed up. Nothing came of it. My work dreams are about as exciting as my work reality.

The next one was fairly straightforward - I was in a helicopter accident. We were at the lake my grandparents once had a camp on, and we (being either myself and my cousin Shawna, or me and my friend Crystal. It was unclear, but the familiarity was there). The helicpoter took off, got into the air, and when it tried to turn, the nose went upwards (I know, no nose...but try to reason with my subconscious. It's not having it) and we crashed, feet-first. We survived, and ran back towards the camp. On the way, I could see that the Daigle's A-frame had been broken into. So we ran on and got back to where Mom and Lorrie were, and told them about the Daigles' break-in and the accident. They weren't surprised by any of it. Really, the crash detal was what made that dream crazy.

The second dream had me working at Sanford High School as the assistant to the man who was principal while I attended, Mr. Rook. He was having image problems, and blamed his baby elephant throw rugs. But they weren't that overstated, and were rather atttractive. I suggested instead of disposing of them, he keep them under his desk, and attempted to fit them discreetly out of sight. But it was while fitting the rugs that I happened upon his big matching baby elephant computer chair. It was pastel yellow. I suggested that his image problem might spring more from the chair, opposed to the carpets. He asked me if I thought he should get rid of the chair, and I said no, I just thought it meant he shouldn't get rid of the carpets, as they're not the issue. (I was very reasonable in the dream). So there was going to be some kind of assembly. I don't remember what for specifically, but I knew Lorrie had done something, and was somehow going to play an active role in the gathering. So I got to make the announcement for everyone to go to the auditorium. On the way, I saw an athletic-type guy running after a girl, and it looked potentially violent. So I ran after them and told the jock to back off . I held up my fists to show I wasn't messing around. "Oh, you're going to fight me? I'd like to see you try!" said the asslete (haha! asslete. yeah.) "No, I'm going to kick you in the balls really hard," I replied, with conviction that surprises non-sleeping me. This gave him cause for pause, and he went away. Everyone was surprised by my toughness and also very thankful.

Also, does anyone think I could pull off Samantha Morton's haircut? Not the blondness though. No one at work seems to think so, but I REALLY like it. Or something similar to it. Too much?

onto bigger & better holidays

2005-11-24T10:44:00.000-05:00

Your Birthdate: December 9

You are a born idealist, with more pet causes than you can count.
You prefer be around others, both when working and while relaxing.
Generous and giving, you believe you can change the world one person at a time.
You're open minded and tolerant. People feel like they can tell you anything.

Your strength: Your go-with-the-flow flexibility

Your weakness: Your flair for the over dramatic

Your power color: Pine green

Your power symbol: Circle

Your power month: September

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

I work from 12-6 on this glorious Turkey Day. We might have chowder for dinner once I'm home. But nothing's definite yet. At some point I'll have to compose a blog about California...but nothing drains me of the desire to live more than thinking about creating the entry right now.

Happy Thanksgiving! Eat your poultry responsibly. (does turkey count as poultry?)

time (zone) traveller

2005-11-18T16:15:00.000-05:00

I'm in sunny, abnormally warm California! There's plenty to explain, but this is a Dvorak keyboard. This sentence alone has taken the better part of 20 minutes to type.

In case anyone else isn't familiar with Dvorak, here's how he/she/it lays out the keys:

`1234567890[]
',.pyfgcrl/=
aoeuidhtns-
;qjkxbmwvz

Dvorak is my new archnemesis.

More on Tuesday, when I know how to type again.

the broad strokes of yesterday

2005-11-15T10:10:00.000-05:00

(read: "bulleted" list! Aren't these exciting!)
- Woke up in the usual fashion, at about the usual time.
-Washed work uniform, had breakfast.
-Watched Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles; enjoyed it more than was anticipated or warranted.
-Worked. Lots of shifting and re-arranging. It made the time pass quickly.
-Made dinner (spaghetti!) then dropped it on the floor (my plate, of course); cleaned up the havoc reaped by dinner.
-Settled in for quality programming: Good Times, What's Happening?, The Colbert Report, and Golden Girls. It's becoming habit.
-Went to bed, made significant dent in Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe (VERY GOOD BOOK!)

camper man

2005-11-13T20:06:00.000-05:00

He came in while I was visiting Anna.
He made her show him how to use his DVD player. Several times. And how to adjust the volume and brightness. I suggested he consult his manual. Anna helped him.

What was a bizarre, thieving harmlessness before is now a much greater discomfort, and severe disliking. I don't like the way he is with Anna. And for as much as he stays away from me while I work, he's in her face, asking things. Things he clearly knows already. Like "what's a DVD?" (this was 15 minutes after asking her to make his DVD player work).

I'm going to close with her tonight. I don't want to scare her more by letting her know that there's something very very wrong with him, but there's no hiding it. And if he keeps playing whatever he's playing at, I am going to tell him to leave. Anna's so nice, and she's so in customer service mode, that whether she's been asked to do a task that makes her uncomfortable or not, she does it. I will make sure she doesn't have to. Whether I'm conveying the sketchiness effectively, I can't be sure. But I'm not exaggerating the fact that there's a problem. I just don't know yet what his deal is.

I LOVE ME! (and many of you, too)

2005-11-13T11:35:00.000-05:00

I found this picture on the blog of another faceless acquaintance. I've stared at it long enough, though, that I decided I should post it somewhere I spend more time: Re-reading my own lovely words. I feel like a tool doing it, but I tend to read my old posts at least two or three times a week. I've always said that no one amuses me more than I do, and it's true. I really do write for my sake. I get all my jokes. There are many people who tie for a close 2nd in the amusement department, but I'm just the kind of jackass who derives joy from my thoughts (and sentence structure). I am hilarious.

We watched Happy Endings last night, and as a result I had insane massage-related dreams. I got a horrible massage at some place, where the woman attached me to tubes and started hitting me with something (certainly not her hands), which resulted in my convulsing on her table. SHe left the room for a long period of time, at which point I decided to make my escape. I ended up at my massage school, where Alton Brown was my instructor. He was free to give me a massage, so I of course took him up on the offer. We ended up back at his enormous house, which was peppered with Andy Warhol-like art of him on every possible wall. He set me up and prepped me for massage with lots of tomato-based product...stewed tomatoes, soup, etc...and I passed out. When I "woke up" (in the dream, as I'm still asleep in actuality), I learned that he had sex with me while I was passed out. He had told his wife and child to leave, and had also told Jeremy, who was now upset because I cheated. "But I didn't do anything! He took me in my sleep!" I cried. "But you liked it!" he argued. "I have no feelings about the buggering whatsoever, as I can't even prove it happened!" I argued back. It sucked, I was pissed at Alton for not only getting me in trouble with Jeremy, but also for not actually giving me a massage, which was the reason I was there in the first place, and what I was ultimately trying to get out of the dream.

Camper Man has been at the store every day. We're starting to find empty soft-core film boxes throughout the gallery. The other night he wanted us to contact him if Bad Education came in. But it was on the shelf. It was there. And the contact information he left was a Jay PO Box. So were we supposed to mail him to say "your movie is here!"? He didn't even have an account! Not until last night, that is. On a previous visit, he wanted us to help him find soft core films with guys in it, but was clear to remind us every third sentence that he "isn't gay". Last night he made Anna go around the store with him for half an hour, to help him find pornos with no men this time, because he "isn't gay". So not only was Anna creeped out, but thoroughly disgusted at having to find this man's porn, and smell him the whole time (he smells TERRIBLE. There's a stench radius around him that if you're within 10 feet of where he is, or has been, within the last five minutes, you'll involuntarily gag. I'm not exaggerating). Anyway, last night he also opened an account. Suddenly he was a cell phone, and an address in Augusta, and two valid forms of ID! And his name is Bernal! And he's 62! And he rented a lot of porn! So what we all want to know is:

-why is he coming to Jay?
-did he steal the movies that once filled the empty movie boxes? (since in the last week he's been there at least three hours a day. And I have to say, if he's not criminally insane, he's a genius, because of course no one wants to approach a man who spends several hours not renting movies a day, and smells like death reheated. Very tricky, Camper Man. And on an occasion where I was reshelving movies in his general vicinity and caught him off-guard by walking toward him, he bolted to another part of the store. Literally! He quickly escaped, to avoid me. I know avoidance when I see it.)

My newly-formed theory is that he's opened an account so we can't be suspicious as to why he's in the store, even though the 72 accountless hours before that tipped us off already. I'm hoping that he signed up with false information, and that maybe he'll steal the movies he just rented and disappear. What we fear more is that he'll keep coming back. I've gotten past "fear and moved onto "mild disgust" with him, but the others...younger, more fragile...especially Anna. Anna closes alone tonight, and asked if she could call me to come visit if he comes in. I said yes. I'm across the street. And even though Anna, body-builder that she is, could bench press him into oblivion, you can't not fear the unknown. And he's a weird one, Bernal Camperman (I feel I should probably not give his last name, just because he's creepy). He never used to approach us, or talk to us. It's an unfortunate turn of events.

And with that, I'm going downstairs. It's taken a surprising amount of time to type this. Oh, today's my first day off this week! CELEBRATE! (even though I might end up in Portland to help Michelle and David move. I should call them.)

"oompa loompa" wasn't an option

2005-11-11T11:07:00.000-05:00

You are Charlie Bucket! Congratulations! You are a
well-behaved individual! You consider others
before yourself, and give as much as you can.
While this is great, don't feel bad about
indulging yourself every now and then...you
derserve it after all.

What Child of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

This actually reminded me of last night's dream, where I was in a college lecture-type course, taught by Chris Noth, and the assignment was to remake Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Freddie Highmore was in my group! So of course we decided immediately that he mustn't be Charlie, because it had already been done, and we might lose credit. Then the phone woke me. I'll never know what happened.

bulletproof customer service

2005-11-11T10:54:00.000-05:00

So yesterday's snow showers were more the latter than the former, and resulted in the disappearance of almost all the accumulated snow. I can see cold brown patches of dead ground again. I'm tickled.

Work yesterday turned out to be so much harder than I would've anticipated. We did 150% to goal last night. I closed half an hour late, as people were still milling about, wanting to rent things. I didn't leave until almost 10:30. I helped over 200 customers. If I had knows, I would've snorted pure caffeine before leaving. But for the most part, everyone who came in was enjoyable. Evil Camper Man was in when I got there, and I had to explain him to Anna. He left about an hour later, but came back 45 minutes after that, and stayed another two hours. But he bought a chocolate bar, a bag of chips, and two orange sodas, so that was nice. And somehow surprising. But still, good to know he eats. The second time he was in, I got a little paranoid. For the first 15 minutes I managed to convince myself he was carrying a gun, and that when the store emptied out he would shoot me and flee. Like he only came to Jay to kill. Much like the movie Stone Cold, starring Tom Selleck, which we watched a couple nights ago. But he left me unshot, and disappeared quietly with his snacks.

This morning I have successfully located Tuesday's Gilmore Girls episode, and am downloading it as we speak. (Erin: Limewire) So in roughly two hours, I will be delighting in quality entertainment, and my morning beverage of choice. And probably a piece of cheesecake. I might go for a bowl of the chili too. Or maybe just a sandwich.

snow.

2005-11-10T12:33:00.000-05:00

It has arrived. It has accumulated. It's expected again tonight.

Snow is a reality in November, especially in northern New England...especially ESPECIALLY if you're in the foothills of western Maine. But we're generally closer to Thanksgiving before the snow stops going away. It started unexpectedly around 4:30 last night, and stopped at some point before we got up this morning. It made work last night extremely busy, then quiet. I spend the last hour of my shift alternating between staring at the floor, and gazing sadly out to the accumulating winter precipitation. It's not all bad I suppose...and it's not like I had much winter to put up with last year (almost makes me miss the pacific northwest)...

We had slow-cooked chili last night. We tried a new recipe, and added the Pepper Man's peppers. It was kicky! Not as good as the last batch, but we're definitely going to add aspects from this batch to the last (italian sausage!). Eventually we'll have a unique recipe. We'll one day have a slew of our own recipes to enjoy and sell for profit. We also had cornbread, cheesecake that we were too full to eat (I'll make up for that at lunch today), and vodka. Cheap, Lewiston-bottled vodka. Added to iced tea. We went to bed after 1:00 a.m. more intoxicated than expected. Weren't we surprised when the window man knocked on the door at 8:00 this morning! Forgot about him, we did! He installed the upstairs windows this morning. We groggily and naueatedly watched The Today Show.

Around 10:00, Arthur came over with the vacuum. Now, I appreciate the thought, but I wasn't thrilled. When he came in, I thought he wanted to clean up after the window guy. There were wood chips to be taken care of, and I understood that well enough. But he vacuumed everything. He just...vacuumed everything! Carpets, no carpets...around us, around the window guy...and he spent a good deal of time on the stairs and entryway, which, if you'll remember from my previous window post, I vacuumed two days ago. And he didn't just touch up the stairs, he labored over them. Like they had never been vacuumed, and he had half a year's grime to lift out. Come ON! They smelled fantastic! They looked fine! After all was said and done, he told us that we had to "get on the ball" about washing the kitchen floor, and contemptuously told us that if our vacuum is what we vacuum the dining room with, it's just not good enough. (we sweep the dining room, since it's linoleum and we happen to have a broom.) He left and came back with one of his four machines for us to use. Jeremy told me to "calm down" when I started venting. I know my reaction's a bit much, but let me get it out! If I knew he was going to covertly inspect the apartment under the ruse of vacuuming up wood chips, I would've prepared. I would've washed the floor. I might've even scrubbed the toilet! So, in my eyes, he came over to spy, and insulted me in the process. I get to be pissed for an hour.

I'll likely be embarrassed about my ranting later. But there's no reasoning with me now, dear readers. There's a polite way to tell us we're gross. I can deal with manners in a mannerly fashion. But MAN!

Pressing on.

Al Franken has a new book, and I have started reading it (thanks, Jay-Niles Library!). It's called The Truth (with jokes). Al Franken cracks me up.

Okay! Everybody have a super-duper day! Don't judge! (PLEASE!)

coffee pepper nog

2005-11-09T11:14:00.000-05:00

I've been sitting here, staring at the screen for the past ten minutes, trying to think how how to formulate a sentence. Some mornings I can think before coffee, today is not one of them. I'll be right back. (yes, I know I mention coffee at least once per entry, and that will stop after today. Honest.)

The window installer ran out of time yesterday, but changed all the downstairs windows, as well as the one in the hallway upstairs. He'll be back tomorrow (he thinks) to take care of the rest. And maybe it's just me, but it's warmer downstairs. We turned the heat off completely yesterday, and the room maintained 62 degrees most of the night. Having nice windows for once makes me think back to Washington, where our windows pushed outward and latched with an eye hook (I have a feeling it might not be called an eye hook, but if anyone's unclear, just ask. I'll draw it for you).

Tonight we're making chili! This'll be the second time in 2 1/2 weeks, but I didn't have hot peppers from the Pepper Man before. Bob Winner, a fifty-something clockwork-regular customer at the store, grows hot peppers. He's brought Tami peppers for as long as I've worked there, and just recently he's started interacting with me. It came up that I like peppers, and he insisted he bring me some too. So last week he brought me six or seven of them. I told him I was going to make them up in a chili, and he is excited to know how they work out. He's so proud of his peppers.

I've gotten over a hump at work. You know when you start a new job, and for a few months you're hyper-aware that you're new, and are afraid to think for yourself without approval for fear of being fired - you've still designated yourself as "new", and you don't fully feel like you work there? I'm over it. And I think I got over it last weekend. I can't describe how it's different, but I'm doing lots of tasky things, "for the good of the store". Shifts pass lightning-fast. I'm not afraid to answer questions out of fear of saying the wrong thing. I have the authority to handle customers and store issues on my own, and it doesn't feel wrong anymore. I'm fluent in Movie-Gallerese. This doesn't mean I like my job any more than I did, but I think I'm willing to tolerate it a bit more. For now, at least.

As I'm scheduled to close every Tuesday of Sweeps, I'm missing all the "fresh" episodes of Gilmore Girls. They eventually become downloadable, but, much to my horror and chagrin, not within 24-hours. We don't have a VCR at the moment, and live near no one who could do us the favor of taping it. It's times like this that I'm glad we still have the fast internet. And perhaps I'll have caught up on all the pertinent plot pieces by the end of the year.

Still haven't bought egg nog. I'll gain at least five lbs. less this year than last. If I can make it to my birthday, that's seven lbs. that will not pad my abdomen. I'm strong in the face of a challenge! I will make it until Jay Christmas weekend! (Dec. 16-18). After that, it's a free-for-all.

the seventh

2005-11-08T08:14:00.000-05:00

I realized while showering yesterday that the root of the word "exclusive" is exclude. I will think twice about calling something exclusive. I'm more user-friendly than that.

So when I came up here yesterday morning to try squeezing out a blog, I had nothing to write about. But luckily, yesterday was a day where things worth writing about took place.

Jeremy defeated Final Fnatasy X. It was easier than either of us would've expected. It's because his characters were freakishly overdeveloped. He had to fight, like, twenty bad things in a row, and no one died. Not once. Even funnier: the ending he logged almost 120 hours of gameplay to achieve skipped and froze. So we don't really know what happened in the story. The badness has gone away, but what were the ramifications? Nothing but the best from Movie Gallery. Thankfully, seeing an ending staved my need to keep playing, at least for now.

The window man came yesterday to install Arthur's windows, and this morning he's doing ours. It'll make for a cold, awkward day today, but tomorrow we will reap the rewards in the form of less oil usage. He got here about ten minutes ago. Not knowing whether or not he needed to invade our space yesterday, we spent a chunk of the afternoon cleaning things. I've got to say, with a little extra effort, the apartment smells fantastic. We should be threatened with servicemen more often. I'm pretty sure I ruined our vacuum by using a sprinkle powder on the stairs and entryway. We have a bagless model, and when I emptied out the booty I noticed the filter was clogged beyond recognition with cakey white dust. And after that, it just sucked less (physically. though you could say for this reason that it sucked more. oh, the levity!)

Last night I quickly shut off Christmas with the Cranks. There was a scene where Tim Allen got water dumped on him many times in a five-minute span (while Jamie Lee Curtis sat unfunnily and Patricia Richardsonly in the car, doing needlepoint), and that was enough for me. We did, though, watch Blizzard in its entirety. Directed by Levar Burton, this was not an excellent movie. It was passably bland. Christopher Plummer was a hearing-impaired, borderline-retarded Santa Claus at a corporate-looking North Pole. He wasn't the star. The Hollywood elite this film drew (Whoopi Goldberg as the voice of Blizzard! Brenda Blethyn, apparently redeeming a favor owed to Levar! Kevin Pollack!) held minor roles. There's nothing much to say. I didn't turn it off. It was a cute idea. It's the film you'd expect Levar Burton would make. The enjoyment I derived came from Kevin Pollack, who in this movie made lots of Jhawn faces. It was what kept me watching. I started to notice the same general coloring and eye set between Kevin and Jim's hubby. He made this one big frown face that, I swear, he contacted Jhawn to learn. If you have ever met Jhawn, you should watch Blizzard. If Jhawn were Jewier, there'd be no telling them apart.

The best thing Comedy Central has ever made is The Colbert Report. I got to see it twice yesterday (funny the TV we've missed while defeating Sin and riding chocobos!), and not many other shows made me laugh as loudly. There's a writer who should be fired or sent back to the Daily Show (not to say bad things, I love Jon Stewart as much as the next guy, but I'm a little tired of the show itself. The correspondants just aren't what they used to be. I do like the interviews (BARACK OBAMA!), but I can only watch a show for its host so many times), but the overall funny surpasses the hit-or-miss captioning.

So I just ran downstairs to get a cup of coffee, and I saw one of the new windows. It's so pretty! Lots of light coming in, no heat going out...the installer was kind enough not to comment on the burger pants, or the crazed look of desperation as I shakily poured my first cup o' joe.

November's Oprah Magazine is both interesting and relevent. But what's new?

duchovny loves irony

2005-11-04T12:31:00.000-05:00

I've gotta say, a well-balanced meal really does wonders for dreaming. The shock of vitamins and nutrients to my malnourished system sent me into subconscious overdrive. At this point all I can remember are the broad strokes, but it was me, Ryan (friend from high school), April (faceless blog acquaintance), and David Duchovny. We were out and about, doing something or other, and we fell to the ground with laughter. It wasn't sincere. We were falling ironically. As we layed...lied...were laying there, David Duchovny sat up and whispered into my ear "I Love You." But that was ironic too...it was understood that he was quoting something from somewhere, and it was supposed to be clever. But this irony felt forced and fake, so I wound up thinking less of him.

Later we were in April's apartment, and all over the place she had McDonald miniatures. Tiny milkshakes, bite-sized double cheeseburgers...all available to be made into grab bags. So I assembled a mini McDonald's meal, and then Tony Sirico showed up! He told us he wore a wig, and proceeded to remove most of his hair to present to us. We told him he looked better without it, and gave him a grab bag. Then I woke up. I had two red hot dogs and a salad for dinner, and drank two glasses of water (opposed to the zero glasses I consume most days).

This is my second day off in a row. I worked a lot of days to get this, and will have to work plenty more before I get more time off. Tami's finally doing manager training, which means she's going to a "test store" somewhere else in the state for two weeks. That means extra hours for the three of us who are able to lock and secure the store. And really, that's all it means.

more fun

2005-11-01T17:39:00.000-05:00

I worked the day shift today. I kept busy. I'm in severe physical and mental pain, so consider this quiz my entry for today. And please, make the most of this All Saints' Day - tell that special someone you love them. Make them a cake. Rub their feet.

You're the ~ key!
When in front of a number, the tilde indicates an
approxomation. By the same token, you tend to
be indecisive when faced with choices. Even
though you may wish you could just make up your
mind, you can always be sure that you're making
the best decision that you won't regret.

What computer key are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

the best quizzes come from erin

2005-10-31T14:55:00.000-05:00

Pixies - Doolittle

What essential indie rock album are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

eight ladybugs

2005-10-31T12:34:00.000-05:00

At present, there are eight ladybugs on the ceiling. I'm not sure where they came from, or why they're here now. They periodically relocate to different sections, or rest on the wall, but none are leaving the room. There's been no change of climate (other than sporatically turning the heat up to 60), and I doubt this is from not doing the dishes the last two days (they'd be in the kitchen, not congregated in the computer room!)...There's no reason that this would seem creepy, but somehow it does. Like an omen of death! Maybe not death. What do ladybugs symbolize? Picnics? Evil picnics?

The weddings are officially done! And I think this last one ended up being the best of the bunch. The impending union took us to Bethel. I was Emily's guest this time, and knew almost no one there. We gave ourselves plenty of time. We stopped for coffee at the 7-11 on Washington Ave. (in Portland), where I'm pleased to announce that they have a coffee beverage station! Lots of syrups, assorted powdered flavorings, and recipes to make fantastic-tasting cups'-o'-joe. The result is impressive. The beverage station itself looks a little pathetic, but don't let that deter you! I encourage those of you in the vicinity of the Washington Ave. 7-11 to go make yourself a fancy cup of coffee. It's fun. But I've strayed. Back to wedding summarizing.

We wandered around downtown Bethel a bit, which was really pretty. The leaves, the mountains, the decorations...a very nice place, while still being a little townie. I love townie towns. We wandered into a disapponting gift shop, a grocery store called "Food Line" I think...I forget. The name was displayed nowhere except on the paper taped to the counter, advising you who to make your check out to.

The ceremony itself was in an old barn, preserved by the historical society. The something-Mason House. It was charming. It was one room, very meetinghouse-y, with a fireplace on the front wall. Simple and perfect. The wedding was short, the food was awesome, and the band playing music in the corner (not for dancing, but for ambience) was good. Made up of three older men and a guy our age, they had a rockabilly sound to them. The young bandman stared at Emily and I a lot. We thought he was into us (which was extremely flattering, because he was H-O-T!), but the staring was endless. Everytime we'd look over he would be there, playing his guitar, and staring at us shamelessly, with virtually no expression on his face. So we started thinking that perhaps he thought we were lesbians. It's true, we were there without our respective gents. But how interesting is that? Was he hoping we'd start making out? I mean, unless he was living in a commune or extremely religious, lesbians wouldn't warrant intent staring. So hot though he was, he was also borderline psychotic from all we could tell. So we put to bed our "Whatever happens in Bethel, stays in Bethel" thought process. I also had nice conversation with the friend-guest of the other bridesmaid (had I mentioned that Emily was in the wedding party? She was), Susannah. We had a lot to talk about. It was nice.

Now that the weddings are done, it's time to look forward, to the holidays. Movie Gallery originally told me that I'd have to work two of the "Big 4" ( Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Years Eve, New Years Day), but have gone back and have now decided that of all the holidays, (now we throw in Thanksgiving and the day after Thanksgiving), everyone will work ALL OF THEM. Everyone will be scheduled for at least two hours on every one of the holidays. The more I hear, the less I want to do anything for this company. I was planning to work Thanksgiving and Christmas anyway, so I could make holiday pay. But not Christmas Eve. And the day after Thanksgiving? The staff has to stick around and cancel any potential plans so we can work a two hour shift at Movie Gallery? And we get paid minimum wage for this.

We're doing Christmas early. My mother suggested we do Christmas in Jay, as it's a middle ground for everyone involved. I decided it might be an okay idea. But since I've given the green light, Mom's been trying to take control. She organized a "christmas organizational chat" online yesterday, with Anne and myself. I had ten Christmas-related e-mails in my inbox. I will have no control over this event. And no Lorrie to take the edge off off Mom.

Happy Halloween!

the rest of my weekend

2005-10-23T15:42:00.000-05:00

It was like drying my hair for the first time.

I inherited a hair dryer a month or two ago. I don't generally use hair dryers. In fact, I don't think I had dried my hair with anything other than towels within the last ten years. And I'm not sure exactly what it was that made me pull out the crusty old apparatus on Saturday. Perhaps time was an issue? Maybe I was just curious? Either way, I did it. And for the first time in life, I was not ashamed to be attached to my hair. It was so...not flat! And it didn't curve out in all the wrong places! It was respectable, adult-looking hair, suitable for semi-formal occasions and grocery shopping alike.

I'm wondering if it was my usage that was the problem in the past. This time around I was holding pieces up, and flipping my head upside down. Very acrobatic hair drying. I guess you can't just aim hot air at your head and expect anything other than disappointment. If I'm just trying to dry my hair, disregarding how I want it to look, I do better with a towel. I'm a towel-dry pro. But now that I have the power to not look like hell, the hair dryer is a weapon I will wield more regularly.

Mel's wedding was fancy and awkward. The reception was at the Portland House? The Portland Club? Something like that, right on State St. We were forced to mingle before being allowed to sit at our table. They were "saving the room for the bride and groom". So we stood awkwardly in corners, idly making eye contact and half-grinning at strangers. I dropped melon on the floor, and we both ate a lot of cheese. Jeremy was of no help to me, as he immediately detached and mourned the lack of open bar (which, I admit, didn't help the evening along). We skipped out immediately after dinner (I swear, my steak mooed. And Jeremy's meat had an aorta in it). I feel awful about it, but we weren't really interacting with anyone. I doubt we were missed. The practicality out-weighed the guilt. I'm not sure today that I did the right thing, but it's done.

And since I have another wedding next weekend that will bring me to Portland long enough to pick up Emily, Jeremy and I decided to take out several stacks of movies from Videoport. The plan today is to bring the TV up to the bedroom, throw on all the flannel clothing we collectively own, eat frozen pizza and enjoy videos. It all starts once I stop writing. So I'm going to stop here.

it's saturday-ay-ay-ay-ay (weet weet, weet weet)

2005-10-22T10:51:00.001-05:00

Another wedding today! This time in Portland, and for my best friend from my first two years of college, Mel. It starts at 5:30 p.m. I'm a little wary, as it's taking place at a Catholic church. I know this doesn't insure a Catholic service, but it seems more likely than not. And a Catholic service, for those of you who've never had to experience one, is literally endless. She won't be saying "I do" until sometime Monday afternoon. I was told in advance by the bride that she would very much like for me to get "wasted" at her reception. Her plan is to do the same, and she very much likes when we're drunk together. Let's hope for an open bar, shall we? We're staying with friends Michelle and David tonight, who live a maximum of two blocks from the ceremony.

We watched Bewitched and Melinda and Melinda last night. Bewitched was a clear example of what Nora Ephron does best: takes a very very stupid plot, and fills it with funny jokes. So the movie was, in fact, funny. But it's not good. As to how that translates for watchability, I say why not! That's not a recommendation. But if you wanted to see it before reading this, you must already have an inkling as to what you're in for. It'll meet your expectations. Also: Steve Carell completely channelled Paul Lynde. You can almost see him in his face. And that, folks, was far more than I indended to say about Bewitched. Melinda and Melinda is the newest Woody Allen movie, and I'm pleased to report that it's better than anything else he's put out in the last 5-7 years. Sadly, that's still not enough to make it interesting. Great concept, the story, but blandly executed. But it's kind of fun, coupling it with Bewitched for an evening of Will Ferrell-based entertainment. Compare, contrast...

My dreams have taken a psychologically interesting turn as of late. I've now dreamed a few times that I'm not naked, but in public in undergarments. Last night I was in downtown Orono with Crystal, my best friend from grade school, and I was in Wonder Woman underwear, and my legs were completely unshaved. She was fully dressed. We ended up at what used to be my grandparents' camp in Acton, and I had to swim. I should look up what this might mean. I'm quite sure this is my subconscious's equivalent to the naked dream, but my aversion to being nude is so deep-seeded that even my brain refuses to allow it. I also dreamed about an Eddie Griffin movie called "Junior Clinton's Rocks". I think this could actually be made. Of course, the plot in my dream involved three fold-out chairs in the middle of an empty room, but there are trained professionals who could spice it up.

woe! oil and employment!

2005-10-21T11:03:00.000-05:00

It's starting to get cold. This, for the most part, is a good thing. Sweater-weather is my favorite temperature. The scent of fall far surpasses the smells of the other seasons, not to mention the foliage. I sure love foliage. Anyway. I'm finding that, with our windows located as they are, most of the apartment doesn't benefit from the sun's heat. I'm also finding that when you're short of money, and are trying to stretch the 50 gallons of oil that you purchased two months ago enough to insure warm showers until you once again have money above and beyond rent to buy more oil, prioritizing needs is hard. Did that make sense? Let me simplify: it's cold, and we're afraid that if we turn on the heat, we'll run out of oil. And since it's too cold to stand cold showers anymore, we're screwed. Potentially.

So here's what I need to know:
-How does one determine how much oil is left in their tank?
-Exactly how much oil is burned by heat?
-How much has the hot water already used?
-Can we make it until Thanksgiving with what we have left? (my mother's giving us 100 gallons of oil for Christmas, and having it delivered at the end of November. Dear, wonderful woman.)
-Can we conceivably go heatless until Thanksgiving without causing ourselves physical harm? Mental harm? Perhaps spiritual harm? Really, any harm is a detriment.
-When will Farmington get its Target store? (I like my reasonably-priced warm layers to be fashionable, and in loud prints)

Once Jeremy's working it'll be better. Surprisingly enough, I can pay rent with my pathetic slave wages. But that's about it. Manpower's been nothing but a disappointment this time around. And they were so good about finding work in the past. I wouldn't mind finding a better-paying job either. I like my co-workers, and would do just about anything for my new manager, but - and tell me if this is possible - I think I have carpal tunnel in my elbow and shoulder. I guess not THE carpal tunnel...my median nerve only runs so far, y'know...but that same feeling. I come home from work unable to shrug my shoulders (and pain radiating from the base of my neck outward), with elbow pain and numb fingers. Renting movies to people shouldn't be this physically challenging. It never used to be. I should make at least $7/hr if I'm going to sacrifice limbs to the job. Dare I say, $7.50! Minimum!

Well, I think I'm done bitching for today. Sorry, kids! More jaunty retarded crap soon!

the inner loser, finally realized

2005-10-19T02:00:00.000-05:00

I watched two things on television today:
1) Lauren Graham
2) digitally animated evil-destroying asian twentysomethings.

That's three episodes of Gilmore Girls, and almost nine hours of "Final Fantasy X". But it wasn't Jeremy who played the latter. It was me.

I played nine hours of a video game. And I could very easily go back downstairs and play more.

What is my problem? I mean, no offense to anyone who has always enjoyed the game, but I have never found it to be anything other than bland, and a huge waste of time. And that I suddenly found the urge to not only pick up a controller and start playing the game, but to continue doing so well into the night? I'm not well. Someone stop me before I start appreciating Buffy the Vampire Slayer (again, no offense) or Lord of the Rings (take offense here. There's simply no excuse).

I'm fairly sure this new, pathetic development is contributing to my inability to fall asleep. We came up to bed two hours ago, and I've done nothing but squirm and itch in that time. So here I am, fighting the urge to chip another hour or two off of my Playstation saga. It kills me - I still don't necessarily "enjoy" the game. It's cheesy videos of cheesy dialogue, strung together with battles I don't necessarily understand (applying ether, a magical firaga attack...I can't tell you what any of it means!)...and that GRID! I sure do hate the grid! But still, that's where I'd like to be right now.

Screw it. I'm going to go itch and play video games. I've got years to make up for.

surreal nights (PG-13)

2005-10-18T13:54:00.000-05:00

Last night my soon to be former co-worker Dander* invited us over to hang out. Always excited for new reasons to leave the house, we went. She lives in Livermore Falls. Not the part near the Chuck Wagon Restaurant and Food City. It's somewhat beyond it. Behind it really. I wouldn't have guessed how remote Livermore Falls becomes. But suddenly the trees replaced the buildings, and then...nothing but open fields. Several acres later we reached their apartment.

Yes, "their". Living in this apartment are Dander, her husband Ving*, year-old son Humbolt*, and Dander's mentally-challenged brother Ron* who recently came into her custody after their parents kicked him out. Ron's brain stopped at seven- or eight-year old capacity. He's 19 or 20 now, so he's like a big 2nd grader. Dander's only 23, so to have her slightly younger brother in her custody must be a little strange.

Upon arrival, Ving left the room while Dander gave us an informal tour (we all stood in the kitchen as she pointed to different rooms and told us what they were). After removing my shoes, Ving reappeared with drugs. With Humbolt otherwise entertained in his playpen in the living room, we were brought into Ron's room to set the drugs on fire, if you will. Ving's brother is a dealer, so they're "all set". There was lots of conversation, a chunk of it centered around the closet-full of stewed tomatoes (Dander stews her own tomatoes! That's why her chili is so good! (she brought Tami and I chili and cornbread at work one night. Another time she brought us barbeque chicken and whoopie pies. She just enjoys cooking, something I think I'll never be able to understand)).

We went back into the living room. Dander prepared a lovely platter of assorted crackers, Fritos, and a nut-wrapped cheese log. We looked at pictures of Humbolt...one when he was 10 days old, sitting amongst pumpkins. The other picture can only be seen to believe. It was an 8" by 10" of little Humbolt, with a traditional portrait backdrop behind him. Oh, one more thing - a man in a bunny suit was behind him, with his hands on Humbolt's shoulders. "That's the Easter Bunny," Dander told us. But this bunny suit came straight from hell. It's not adorable. It's a terrifying, 1976 horror movie rendition of the Easter Bunny. Not only does he dwarf young Humbolt in the photo, but he looks like he's going to eat his heart once the camera has clicked. And Humbolt was smiling, unaware of the slaughter that was to ensue! Dander told us a large black man was inside the bunny costume. I actually laughed. I'm going to die young, and it'll hurt a lot, but I would pay money for this picture. That it wasn't a joke makes it that much creepier! Anyway, after admiring photos we spent at least two hours watching Baby Einstein videos. At some point it changed to Baby Shakespeare, which, in my opinion, isn't helping kids in the slightest. The other vidoes, sure, but what's a baby going to do with Shakespeare ? Infants are hard enough to understand as it is, the last thing I'd want to do is teach it Shakespeare. Neither here nor there. They were riveting.

Around the time I was thinking of leaving, and much without announcement, Dander suddenly changed the video to The People vs. Larry Flynt. Ving had quietly gone to bed earlier, because suddenly we could hear snoring from the upstairs. The People vs. Larry Flynt is a movie I'd always meant to watch, but never got around to it. I'd rent it, then never look at it. But I'm glad to have seen it! I knew it'd be worthwhile once I got it over with. As a result, my dreams were peppered with naked women doing naughty things. It was weird. And it wasn't the primary plot. The women were kind of on the sidelines, setting a general dream mood. But I can't remember anything else from it. Huh.

That's pretty much all I can say about the night. After the movie ended, we went home. I watched Jeremy play Final Fantasy part 10, then we watched some TV before going to bed. I have today off. I will watch a total of three episodes of Gilmore Girls, probably watch more Final Fantasy, and definitely consume lots of hot brown beverages (namely, coffee).

celebrities, weddings, and presidential bodyguards

2005-10-16T12:08:00.000-05:00

Thank God my borther-in-law is car smart. I called my sister on Friday to ask her and Peter's opinion on the status of my car, before spending money to fix a potentially unfixable problem. Peter's first suggestion was putting the car in park. I didn't think you could stop a car, take the keys out, leave it sitting through work and overnight, in park. So before going to Hannaford I stopped back at my car. And it was in drive. A car won't start in drive. So I put it in park, and it started right up. My car was parked in drive. It's not broken (yet). Inside I'm laughing.

I went to Wal*Mart to buy wedding-appropriate apparel (talk about a challenge!) and managed to find black pin-stripey pants and a basic top that matched the stripe perfectly. I also was forced to buy pumps. I can't call these shoes high heels, because that gives the impression of being a classy, semi-respectable shoe. These shoes are weird-looking, White Stag, $6.47 pumps. I had no other options. I needed shoes with lift because the pants were WAY too long. And with Wal*Mart being my only immediate option, and their selection being as poor it is, I had to buy them. My entire outfit, wearable for the next three weekends, was $33. I was still able to pay rent, which is always nice.

Dan and Tori's wedding was really fun. The Old German Church in Waldoboro is very old and quaint. It's also very cold and unlit. But at 2:00 in the afternoon, you don't really miss what lacks. Supposedly George Washington's bodyguard was married there. I can't be sure, that was the rumor spreading amongst the early arrivers. It's weird to think about George Washington having a bodyguard. It's not very 18th centrury-sounding. But hey - cool. It also took the entire wedding and most of the reception to decide undisputedly that Tim Curry was not in attendance. Not until the end of the night did we learn Tim Curry was in fact Dan's Uncle Dick. That didn't stop us from trying to take his picture. We never did. Almost got one of him dancing. We were seated at a far-away table with other like-minded individuals. It was a great time. It took us about an hour and 40 minutes to get there, so it wasn't too bad. We cut through the middle of the state, which was cartographically exciting for me. It rained, but it was still nice.

And today it's back to work. Not until 5:00 though. In the meantime I'm going make a pot of coffee. I'll sip it slowly and thoughtfully (after hungrily and desperately dumping the first two cups down my throat), and ponder life.

trouble in paradise

2005-10-14T06:32:00.000-05:00

My car has stopped running.

I don't know what the problem is. It's not the battery. I might be out of gas, but neither Jeremy nor I can remember where the gas gauge was at. When I turn the key, nothing happens. No noise whatsoever. No ruh-ruh-ruh-ruh sound, like the car wants to start, but it's just too tired. You know that sound. But I turn the key and it sits there like an idiot mute (my apologies to all the idiot mutes who may happen upon this). Sometime before work at 3:00 I have to purchase a gas can (which will hopefully be in stock at our local Hannaford store and walk to a gas station, get gas, carry it to work (which is where my car died last night), and hope it starts. I'm ultimately screwed if gas isn't the issue. There'll be no weddings this weekend, next weekend, or even the weekend after that. Jeremy will not be able to get a job, as there's no way to get anywhere. We'll be stranded in the foothills.

But perhaps I worry too much. Coffee will help.

starts and ends with a dream

2005-10-13T10:28:00.000-05:00

Last night I dreamed that my sisters were pregnant, and that Jeremy made a movie about airplanes and dogs wearing sunglasses, scored by the Benny Hill theme. It was REALLY funny. That's all I can remember.

I'm having trouble making my blog display a toaster photo, so I uploaded a few to Yahoo and made an album of it. I think you might be able to view it here. (This has proven to be harder than it's worth). I also took pictures of our "dining area" and the kitchen entryway (they were tidier than normal, and I was feeling ambitious...)

Tonight at work will be my first where I have keys and a code. There's a possibility that it might not work, and I've been told that the cops will show up if an invalid code is entered. I'm potentially in for a very exciting night. I'm also getting to work with Amber, who was hired with me but tends to open (I generally close). Time will pass quickly and funly (if "funly" is a word, I think I misspelled it.) I could've gone to a bachelor party tonight - my friend Dan is getting married this weekend, and had invited me to the male-intensive festivities. But in order to go to the wedding, I had to sacrifice. It probably would've been awkward anyhow, since I don't know any of Dan's friends (other than Jim, of course). And I need money.

Three more weddings to attend this month! I need to buy a nice top and shoes, since I own neither after my recent weight gain sent me out of contention for my old nice outfits (and I just don't own nice shoes. Never have, probably never will.) I should also think about gifts. I'm invited to the nuptuals with the understanding that I'll be rewarding the couple with a present. Other than the financial issue, the only place to shop around here is Wal*Mart. No one registered at Wal*Mart. Not that I blame them, but it certainly makes life harder for those of us who chose to live in the foothills of western Maine, far from the conveniences of modern life. (though I hear rumor that Farmington might build a Target. I pray to God in heaven that's true!!)

days off and movies

2005-10-12T20:57:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was my first day off in a week. So we made the most of my not-at-work time. I had told Tami, my manager, that I was going to sleep until noon. I was surprised when it actually happened. Coffee was consumed, television was idly looked at, computer was computed on...everyday stuff. And on a whim I suggested we go for a walk. Jeremy seemed up for it, so for the first time we hit the streets of Jay on foot. Near our home is a brown Baptist church with a street that we had assumed was a dead end. Not so! We walked up, and the street hooked right. And there we found where the people who populate Jay live. We found a slew of cute houses, not-so-modest trailers...a development without the monotony. It was nice. The air smelled like leaves and wood-burning stoves. Aaaaaaaah. Sweater weather. We went to the library for more books, came home for dinner, and split a bottle of champagne. Yum.

We've been renting movies a lot, as it's my only job perk. I'm surprised by how many decent films we've seen in the last week. Unleashed (watch it!!!!), Primer (watch it also!!!), Schultze Gets the Blues (slower-paced, but good), Enduring Love, and tonight we're watching Downfall and Imaginary Heroes. Jay Movie Gallery doesn't get many impressive films, but we're not as bad off as I had imagined.

We paid part of a bill today! Giving people money feels great, I tell you. I wouldn't expect it to be so nice, but every time we do it, our day is made. It's a habit I look forward to forming.

Tonight at work I witnessed graphic anal fingering. This couple was probably five feet from the counter, looking at our previously-viewed DVD section (buy 2, get 2 free!), when she just started groping the butthole part of his bottom. It couldn't have been a wedgie, because I don't think boxers or briefs can ride up that high. And if they had, wouldn't he have picked it out himself?? I can't really think about it. I'm really sorry I have to write about it at all, but I can't NOT mention it. I had to call Jeremy as soon as the couple left, just to get it out of me.

Really, I could talk about customers all night, but I have dinner to eat and films to view. I'll work harder at making a better blog next time.

worth considering.

2005-10-07T15:51:00.000-05:00

You Should Be a Hot Dog for Halloween!

What should you be for Halloween?

a crisp autumn morning in the foothills of western maine

2005-10-07T09:16:00.000-05:00

I just now thought of the word I wanted to use the other day, in a context I can no longer remember. It was "concurrently". Of course this does me no good now, but it's nice that, even this far after the fact, my brain came through.

I only have small things to report before I run off to work. This warrants a list. Not bulleted, since I don't know how to do that.

- Minimum wage increased, so my rate-of-pay inadvertently went up. There's nothing like a non-merit-based raise to re-affirm that you're a viable asset to the company.

- A spider jumped on me in the shower. Number of times this has happened since we've been in Jay: three.

- We got a wood-paneled toaster from my sister. She says she...didn't want it? Some kind of gibberish. It can't be true. It's way too cool to give away. It also complements our kitchen beautifully. I'll have to take a picture of it, to share with anyone who cares to see it.

Crap, I thought I had more. I suppose it's for the best, since I still need to intravenously inject my coffee before going to my job.

enough is enough

2005-10-04T14:39:00.000-05:00

I've been very patient and understanding with Hollywood. I know they want to make money, and I understand it's hard to match every film they push out with a creative idea. Remakes and sequels happen sometimes, and I accept them. I tolerate them.

But I've hit my limit.

We were watching The Interpreter last night (not very exciting, but not a terrible movie. It's over two hours though, and you'll find you're aware of every minute). Immediately preceding the film were previews...big surprise, I know...

It was Pride and Prejudice.

No - not the 1938 one. Not the 1940 or 1952 versions. Certainly not the 1980 mini-series, or the flawless 1995 mini-series (the only one anyone should see...it's truest to the book). Not the shitty 2003 rendition, not 2004's Bollywood extravaganza Bride and Prejudice (kind of retarded, but kind of fun). It's new for 2005, starring Keira Knightly and Donald Sutherland and Brenda Blethyn (which is unfair, because the cast begs you to see it, despite the audience's better judgement). Seriously, I'll deal with remaking a movie once, I'll poke fun and roll my eyes before inevitably viewing a second remake, but COME ON! Leaving out shorter TV specials and films whose plot loosely resembles that of P&P (Bridget Jones's Diary, You've Got Mail (which is a remake of The Shop Around the Corner...man, was there anything original about that movie? Perhaps I should take greater shame in the enjoyment I derive. I'm a sucker for Nora Ephron, so sue me!)), this film has been remade just short of TEN TIMES!

There's got to be a point where Hollywood realizes they're kropogs beyond desperation. There's nothing new to discover, no improvement to be made. If the perfect Pride and Prejudice hasn't been made yet, it's not going to happen (though it has, and it's absolutely wonderful, but not necessarily the point). Are there no other classic novels that translate to the big screen? Are they out of books to transform into sub-par cinema?

What about more Shakespeare? They're still two or three Hamlets shy of upsetting. More Jane Smiley, or perhaps a couple more Joyce Carol Oates could be worked over (make Foxfire again! There's a whole new slew of sassy teens to cast). I'd like to see some Paul Auster. Or Garrison Keillor!

Garrison Keillor movies would be awesome. Sit down with some chowder and pie, and take a nice nap...

blame it on the rain

2005-09-30T00:20:00.000-05:00

I worked eight hours alone today, and in that time I did just about all of Movie Gallery's business, thanks to the freak three-hour rain storm that hit, bringing with it fierce, blustering winds that... literally... lifted and haphazardly deposited customers into the store. I only broke the computer once, and the customers waiting for me to loudly and stressfully fix the problem over the phone all seemed to sympathize. Or simply not speak to me. Either way, I survived. I hurt immensely, as I think my shoes aren't appropriate for standing in place hours on end. But I'm alright. Don't nobody worry 'bout me.

Tomorrow afternoon we're going to house-sit in the woods. Jeremy's folks are going to Michigan to bring their other son a car, then will bus back. In the meantime we get a mini-vacation. She bought groceries, has provided ample dollars for gas... not that there is more exciting than here. If anything, it's duller. But there's no better place to enjoy nothingness. As of Saturday I start my three days off in a row, after working every day since Sunday. (yet somehow still only have 26 hours?)

Lorrie's moving to California on Saturday. We're going to see each other in some way, shape or form tomorrow evening. I'm not sad, but definitely aware that something is changing. Does that make sense? And of course I'm envious of her upcoming road trip. The driving's the best part of moving far away. It's the only positive thing I've taken from the six months in Washington (not that Washington was a bad place, just that Washington refused to feed, shelter, or befriend us. Washington mocked our pain, and laughed at our misfortune. Thanks, Washington. No, wait! Don't leave! I love you!)
***
Animal Crossing, the most addictive game Nintendo has ever created, has finally started being fun again. I'm off to fish and catch bugs. Jeremy caught a salmon the other day, and I still need one. I'm four fish away from a golden rod, and I'm getting impatient. So I'm going to desperately forage through the town, and make my presence known.

today's unwarranted, unnecessary posting

2005-09-29T01:19:00.000-05:00

You'd better sit down. You are suffering from
Annie's Disease.

Cause: running too fast
Symptoms: excessive suicidal thoughts, dementia, neck swelling
Cure: exercise

Oh, the fun to be had on the internet!

Not only have I been assigned a middle name ("Eagle-12", thanks!), but I've learned that product-wise, I'm "a piece of string that plays MP3s, automatically avoids obstacles and holds up to twenty cigarettes."

annie
n. complicated acronym, meaning violence.
"Want some annie, Mom?"

Enough of that.

Work was okay. A guy I've dubbed "Evil Camper Man" spent two hours tonight not renting movies. He slowly, silently studied every movie box in the store. "Just looking," he told me when I asked if he needed assistance. Co-worker Amber came in to rent movies while he was in, and told me he spent a large chunk of time there yesterday as well. She seems to think he parks the camper in a nearby dirt field, and that's where he lives. He looks harmless enough, but two hours in a slow, small store is a REALLY LONG TIME when you're alone, and it's getting dark, and the guy refuses to respond to small talk. I get paid to engage you, sir. Please, play along!

I finally finished the sixth Harry Potter book. I can't say anything, because all I can do at this point is ruin it for other people. There's not much to say other than the spoiler bit, except that getting a copy of the seventh book is not going to be easy when the time comes.

My college application is still missing a page. I have to find the sheet that lists relatives who've attended the UMaine system, then send it to Orono, so they can ship my application to Farmington from there. I don't know what the cut-off date for spring enrollment is, but I can't imagine I'm going to make it. But you never know, right? Positive thinking!

weathering the storm

2005-09-28T01:09:00.000-05:00

Well thank god that's done!

I survived the extended weekend with minimal sleep, far less coffee than is fair to deprive any person of, and an alarming desire to never never never get married. At least not in front of people. I would've assumed that attending a wedding where 4/5ths of the attendees aren't complete strangers would be a pleasant change of pace. NOPE! I can't handle the small-talk. Or the stress. I can now only start to imagine the hell that would ensue if all my family and friends were stuck in a small, poorly-decorated room, celebrating me in a dress I detest, listening to the music I enjoy (oldies, polka, and powerpop), eating the food I like to eat (mac'n'cheese with red hot dogs cut in, just about anything slow-cooked, and cheesecake).

Supposedly, while we were prepping the Elks lodge for my sister's reception, there was a cheesecake-eating contest taking place less than a mile away, as part of "Riverfest". It's supremely unfair that I miss these events. Not that I needed the excess mass...my maid-of-honor strapless top was hooker-tight as it was, displaying my ample torso for all who cared to view it. And after the food, breathing was a chore, let alone dancing. I did it, mind you. No one can accuse me of not loving my sister.

My first shift alone at the video store is tomorrow night. I'm almost sure I can just about handle it. Does that sound confident enough? Positive thinking, I tell you!

We watched "Beauty Shop" last night, and "Layer Cake" this morning. If you haven't seen these films, then run...RUN!...to your local video store, or log...LOG!...onto your nearest internet-ready computer, and get them. Watch them. Appreciate them. Also, "The Wool Cap" was good.

jenna von oy: shapeshifter

2005-09-21T12:37:00.000-05:00

I thought I woke up at 8:00 this morning. Only upon going downstairs to re-heat yesterday's coffee did my rising time come into question. The clock on the microwave said it was 9:42. Adelphia agreed with them, as the same time was on the cable box. Weird. So I didn't get an impressive start to the day, but I'm still proud of 9:42 without an alarm on a day off. I know I dreamed weirdly last night, but all I can remember now is the school setting, Liza Weil asking me why I'd let myself slide academically, and Jenna Von Oy shapeshifting. No clue how that fits in, but it happened. It was scary. Scary and awesome.

This is a full week. Tomorrow I go into work at 7:00 a.m. to help with inventory. I leave at 3:00 and go directly to Old Town to help my sister get ready for her wedding on Saturday. I will be her errand girl for the latter part of tomorrow; the rehearsal dinner and impromptu bachelorette party (with minimal booze and zero naked dancing men...I'm not related to my sister at all) is on Friday; Saturday she gets hitched. Then Sunday I drive back for work at 3:00.

I'm going to a wedding, or a wedding-related function, every weekend of October. This is the year for everyone I know who hasn't already tied the knot or had babies to follow suit. The pressure is palpable. I've been with Jeremy four years, and the family's starting to ask questions. And Emily wants Joe3 to have contemporaries, and is bribing her sister and me with gifts and food in exchange for a baby. I have to say, I do like food and presents...

And that seems like a good place to stop! More soon.