I've been very patient and understanding with Hollywood. I know they want to make money, and I understand it's hard to match every film they push out with a creative idea. Remakes and sequels happen sometimes, and I accept them. I tolerate them.
But I've hit my limit.
We were watching The Interpreter last night (not very exciting, but not a terrible movie. It's over two hours though, and you'll find you're aware of every minute). Immediately preceding the film were previews...big surprise, I know...
It was Pride and Prejudice.
No - not the 1938 one. Not the 1940 or 1952 versions. Certainly not the 1980 mini-series, or the flawless 1995 mini-series (the only one anyone should see...it's truest to the book). Not the shitty 2003 rendition, not 2004's Bollywood extravaganza Bride and Prejudice (kind of retarded, but kind of fun). It's new for 2005, starring Keira Knightly and Donald Sutherland and Brenda Blethyn (which is unfair, because the cast begs you to see it, despite the audience's better judgement). Seriously, I'll deal with remaking a movie once, I'll poke fun and roll my eyes before inevitably viewing a second remake, but COME ON! Leaving out shorter TV specials and films whose plot loosely resembles that of P&P (Bridget Jones's Diary, You've Got Mail (which is a remake of The Shop Around the Corner...man, was there anything original about that movie? Perhaps I should take greater shame in the enjoyment I derive. I'm a sucker for Nora Ephron, so sue me!)), this film has been remade just short of TEN TIMES!
There's got to be a point where Hollywood realizes they're kropogs beyond desperation. There's nothing new to discover, no improvement to be made. If the perfect Pride and Prejudice hasn't been made yet, it's not going to happen (though it has, and it's absolutely wonderful, but not necessarily the point). Are there no other classic novels that translate to the big screen? Are they out of books to transform into sub-par cinema?
What about more Shakespeare? They're still two or three Hamlets shy of upsetting. More Jane Smiley, or perhaps a couple more Joyce Carol Oates could be worked over (make Foxfire again! There's a whole new slew of sassy teens to cast). I'd like to see some Paul Auster. Or Garrison Keillor!
Garrison Keillor movies would be awesome. Sit down with some chowder and pie, and take a nice nap...
3 comments:
I think I heard somewhere they're making a Prairie Home Companion movie, and Keillor is supposed to be pretty heavily involved, thankfully. Not sure how they're going to make that work, though. I don't think you can stop a whole plot so that the special guest klezmer band or whoever can perform.
hey annie- this looks like it is more fun... but i have too much blog to leave behind!!!!
Please let Jeremy know that when I downloaded his songs to my iPod, they come up as "Dance" for the genre. Yes, there is nothing that makes me want to shake my fanny than "Oprah Magazine." :-)
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