surreal nights (PG-13)

Last night my soon to be former co-worker Dander* invited us over to hang out. Always excited for new reasons to leave the house, we went. She lives in Livermore Falls. Not the part near the Chuck Wagon Restaurant and Food City. It's somewhat beyond it. Behind it really. I wouldn't have guessed how remote Livermore Falls becomes. But suddenly the trees replaced the buildings, and then...nothing but open fields. Several acres later we reached their apartment.

Yes, "their". Living in this apartment are Dander, her husband Ving*, year-old son Humbolt*, and Dander's mentally-challenged brother Ron* who recently came into her custody after their parents kicked him out. Ron's brain stopped at seven- or eight-year old capacity. He's 19 or 20 now, so he's like a big 2nd grader. Dander's only 23, so to have her slightly younger brother in her custody must be a little strange.

Upon arrival, Ving left the room while Dander gave us an informal tour (we all stood in the kitchen as she pointed to different rooms and told us what they were). After removing my shoes, Ving reappeared with drugs. With Humbolt otherwise entertained in his playpen in the living room, we were brought into Ron's room to set the drugs on fire, if you will. Ving's brother is a dealer, so they're "all set". There was lots of conversation, a chunk of it centered around the closet-full of stewed tomatoes (Dander stews her own tomatoes! That's why her chili is so good! (she brought Tami and I chili and cornbread at work one night. Another time she brought us barbeque chicken and whoopie pies. She just enjoys cooking, something I think I'll never be able to understand)).

We went back into the living room. Dander prepared a lovely platter of assorted crackers, Fritos, and a nut-wrapped cheese log. We looked at pictures of Humbolt...one when he was 10 days old, sitting amongst pumpkins. The other picture can only be seen to believe. It was an 8" by 10" of little Humbolt, with a traditional portrait backdrop behind him. Oh, one more thing - a man in a bunny suit was behind him, with his hands on Humbolt's shoulders. "That's the Easter Bunny," Dander told us. But this bunny suit came straight from hell. It's not adorable. It's a terrifying, 1976 horror movie rendition of the Easter Bunny. Not only does he dwarf young Humbolt in the photo, but he looks like he's going to eat his heart once the camera has clicked. And Humbolt was smiling, unaware of the slaughter that was to ensue! Dander told us a large black man was inside the bunny costume. I actually laughed. I'm going to die young, and it'll hurt a lot, but I would pay money for this picture. That it wasn't a joke makes it that much creepier! Anyway, after admiring photos we spent at least two hours watching Baby Einstein videos. At some point it changed to Baby Shakespeare, which, in my opinion, isn't helping kids in the slightest. The other vidoes, sure, but what's a baby going to do with Shakespeare ? Infants are hard enough to understand as it is, the last thing I'd want to do is teach it Shakespeare. Neither here nor there. They were riveting.

Around the time I was thinking of leaving, and much without announcement, Dander suddenly changed the video to The People vs. Larry Flynt. Ving had quietly gone to bed earlier, because suddenly we could hear snoring from the upstairs. The People vs. Larry Flynt is a movie I'd always meant to watch, but never got around to it. I'd rent it, then never look at it. But I'm glad to have seen it! I knew it'd be worthwhile once I got it over with. As a result, my dreams were peppered with naked women doing naughty things. It was weird. And it wasn't the primary plot. The women were kind of on the sidelines, setting a general dream mood. But I can't remember anything else from it. Huh.

That's pretty much all I can say about the night. After the movie ended, we went home. I watched Jeremy play Final Fantasy part 10, then we watched some TV before going to bed. I have today off. I will watch a total of three episodes of Gilmore Girls, probably watch more Final Fantasy, and definitely consume lots of hot brown beverages (namely, coffee).