13 February 2007


I am a colon!
Find your own pose!

02 January 2007

crap babbled and the new year

Not everything you feel in 2007 will be new, but you'll have a lot more novel emotions than in a typical year. Not everything you do will be creative and imaginative, but I suspect you'll often be improvising your way smartly through experiences that have no precedent. You may not be relentlessly reinventing yourself, but I bet you'll be imitating your old shticks and tricks less than you ever have before.


Without going into the mind-numbing specifics, someone I considered to be a good friend made a comment to me not long before this horoscope appeared that was spoken harmlessly, but was damaging. Initially I was bothered by this, but realized that I portray myself in such a way that might lead people to think untrue things. I let people know me how I want them to know me, and if I can't figure out the "how", I don't bother. I realized that there are others who might agree with the statement in question. They don't know any better! I surely don't want to know the answer to that...but how I act affects people's view of me, whatever that view is. I'm currently in no position to take offense. Lesson learned, though. And this horoscope showing up when it did, well, that solidifies it.

But enough about stuff that only makes sense to me!

It's a new year, and though I've established a mild outline of resolutions for the year, I have a general idea what I'm doing. Exercise and diet are first and foremost again, but with impending nuptuals, I'm all the more driven. No McDonalds in 2007! Seriously. It's the only establishment that poses a threat, as any other fast food chain is at least fifteen miles away, if not more. I'll be reading more, again, and cleaning on a semi-regular basis. There are other things, but I've yet to formulate a plan. Once I do, though, be sure I'm going to make a bulleted list for my own and others' enjoyment.

Happy New Year!

26 December 2006

a christmas gift?

Our northbound Christmas proved to be successful. We stopped in to see assorted members of the George family, ate a lot (Georges are feeders. You eat or you take the food with you)...pretty good afternoon. We headed to the Stovers from there, and we ate more and relaxed and it was quite nice. It all went quite well, and we received way too many gifts, per usual. My mom and her new boyfriend, Sherwin, and Lorrie and Peter stopped up for an hour on Christmas Eve, and unloaded a few gifts (which confused me to no end, because we're supposedly having Christmas in Sanford on the 27th). Christmas Day we headed back to Jay around 11:00, and got home with time enough to lounge around and do nothing before I headed in to work.

Two of the Ebay dresses arrived while we were gone. I also got an interesting piece of mail from the University of Maine. I don't know what to make of it. Here:

Dear Ann-Marie:

The Admissions office forwarded your application to me and indicated that you didn't have to apply through that office since you've done that in the past.

Please fill out the enclosed Returning Student Data sheet and return it to me. Since you plan to begin classes in the Fall 2007, I will process the form early March. When you list your intended major as Child Development/Family Relations, please indicate also if you want to Early Childhood Education option which leads to teacher certification, grades K-3.

Sincerely, -.

So. I'm not sure if this is just a different application sheet, if it means I am in fact going back in the fall, if "processing the form (in) early March" means they'll consider letting me back then, or if I'm officially back in the system at that point. I should call and ask. But part of me wonders if I'm supposed to know this already, by some blatantly obvious piece of information that's been provided, that maybe I just haven't interpreted correctly. Jeremy seems to think this is good. I am relieved that I won't have to pay the application fee. I refuse to think anything else on the subject. I do think it's funny that I got to open this potentially promising letter on Christmas Day.

I desperately need to clean today. Coming back from two days away from our apartment, I was fully aware of the mild stench of unwashed dishes. And though clutter doesn't technically stink, it was overwhelming. It looks like Christmas accidentally landed in the trash can right before exploding. I'm usually unfazed by some disorganization, but this has reached a new level. Orange, to borrow from Homeland Security. Is orange a moderate threat? I wouldn't call it red, but I might call it deep sunset, if you know what I mean. Dishes are definitely on the agenda. And, luckily, tomorrow is Trash Day.

19 October 2006

so's you know

I've been drawn back to Yahoo 360. It's the avatar, I tell you. I missed it and I love it. I'm sure I'll be back soon, as I can't seem to settle in one place for very long.

Is it pathetic how true-to-life that last statement was?

14 September 2006


Okay, I'm updating! I had valid reasons for not updating before now. To be blunt, I was depressed. I didn't feel like writing anything. Even if I could've mustered an ounce of enthusiasm, I wouldn't have had anything productive or healthy to share. Sometimes you have to be in a hole. I dug in deep, wallowed, rolled around a bit, and I'm over it. I'm feeling pretty good now, thanks. I have perspective...and a burning desire to talk about television.

The fall season is upon us! Colored leaves in the trees, sweaters coming out of storage, hot apple something-or-other making the kitchen smell homey (or, in my case, a festive candle and apple linen spray, $10, courtesy of my local Avon representative). With all that comes the new TV season. I've gone whole-hog this year. I've been reading, researching, comparing, contrasting, and other appropriate adjectives in regards to what I need to watch this season. This year in particular is going to be challenging. There are a slew of interesting-seeming shows starting, and I have vested interests in several returning shows. Combine this with the magic of DVR and the fact that shows I've neglected thus far are coming out on DVD and I get to try them out for free, I'm going to be a bigger couch potato than ever. Because you unwittingly demanded it: here, in all its glory, is a list of what I'm tuning in for this year:

1) American Dad (FOX, 8:30)- First and foremost, if you have an awesome theme song, you've already partly won the battle. Secondly, if your comedy style is excessively mean in a very smart way, I'll have your babies. American Dad has planted it's seed for the season.

2) Family Guy (FOX, 9:00)- I was just has happy as anyone when they resurrected this show. But I quickly became bored with it, and stopped tuning in. It felt like it was trying too hard. Apparently sometime between last year and last Sunday's season premiere, they fixed something. The funny was back! It's earned its series recording for the immediate future (unlike The Simpsons, which - I'm sorry - is a little too hit-or-miss these days. Not that I won't watch every once in awhile...I just won't be devastated if I miss it).

3) Desperate Housewives (ABC, 9:00)- Until last week, I had maybe seen three episodes of this show. And it was kind of fun...but I didn't really give a crap about it. Three out-of-order episodes from the middle of a season does not a viewer make! I took out the first disc of the first season, and it's still fun. But now I have the foundation on which to build more fun, which is resulting in amusement, even laughter! I have a shitload of episodes to catch up on before attempting the third season, but I'm not dissuaded yet.

4) Brothers & Sisters (ABC, 10:00)- New to ABC this season, in the time slot recently vacated by Grey's Anatomy. I've not been able to learn much about this show. I'm trying it out firstly for Calista Flockhart (because, in case anyone who reads this doesn't know better, Ally McBeal was an obsession for me), and secondly because of a combination of Rachel Griffiths and Sally Field. Why not, right? If it sucks, I'll just stop watching.

5) Sunday Night Football (NBC, 8:00)- haha, just kidding!

1) The Class (CBS, 8:00)- It's getting decent reviews. From the creators of Friends and Mad About You! It's a third grade calss reunion! People grew up into zany characters! What doesn't sound promising about that?! Plus, I need something to do until...

2) How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 8:30)- I'll never be sure if the change was in me or within the show itself, but my first impression of "this show is obnoxious" quickly changed into "man, these guys are entertainingly relatable!" It's so much more than just Doogie and the Freaks & Geeks guy now.

3) Heroes (NBC, 9:00)- I'm not expecting to like this. Not that it sounds bad, but it's not the kind of show I generally get into. It's got Greg Grunberg going for it, though.

4) Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (NBC, 10:00)- Sometimes you KNOW you're going to like a show. Throw an awesome cast at me, an interesting premise, and then tell me that it's created and written by Aaron Sorkin. It's Christmas and my birthday and I won the lottery? Okay! Not to mention that Lauren Graham has a two-episode guest-starring story arc in October. You had me at hello!

1) Gilmore Girls (The CW, 8:00)- Again, if you know me even slightly, you perhaps already know that I'm obsessed with how brilliant this show is. Last season wasn't exactly fantastic, but I haven't jumped ship yet. I want everyone to love this show. I will let you borrow my DVDs if it means you'll at least try it. Once you get into its groove, you'll find that there's not a smarter show on television.

2) Friday Night Lights (NBC, 8:00)- This show's being hyped by everyone and their brother (and Matt Roush, for whom I'd try any show once. Except Buffy. He was just plain wrong there). And it stars the guy who blew up in the post-Super Bowl episode of Grey's Anatomy. (the nicest looking pink dust on television, I say!)

3) Veronica Mars (The CW, 9:00)- Create a network expressly so you can schedule your show after Gilmore Girls to form a "cool girls' night" of television? I accept that. She solves mysteries, I hear. And her dad is the Just Shoot Me guy.

4) Boston Legal (ABC, 10:00)- David E. Kelley. Quirky law show. Provided I can catch up on what I've missed, I'm told I'll really like this show?

5) The Knights of Prosperity (ABC, 9:00)- Okay, so it's Donal Logue. That's not necessarily a bad thing. They're going to break into Mick Jagger's house...that's the plot. It was originally supposed to be Jeff Goldblum's house, which would've been great! Perhaps that was their first mistake? Entertainment Weekly says it might be the funniest new show of the season. That's worth a couple episodes of my time. I'm borderline optimistic.

6) Notes from the Underbelly (ABC, 8:30)- "One of the most surprising, sharpest pilots of the season" says Entertainment Weekly. Plus Rachel Harris. I'm going to have to stop watching something else by the time this show starts in November. I tell you now, it's not going to be Gilmore Girls.

7) The Unit (CBS, 9:00)- I didn't give a crap about this show until two things happened: 1) I learned the guy that created The Shield is the creator of this show too!!! and 2) the first season arrived at the store on Wednesday. So I'll watch the DVDs. We'll see what happens.

1) Twenty Good Years and 2) 30 Rock (NBC, 8:00 and 8:30, respectively)- John Lithgow and Jeffrey Tambor. Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin. Why not?

2) Kidnapped (NBC, 10:00)- Jeremy Sisto. Timothy Hutton. Delroy Lindo. Kidnappings. In my book, that warrants attention.

1) Ugly Betty (ABC, 8:00)- I doubt I need to say much, since they're promoting the hell out of it. Of course I'm going to watch it!

2) The Office (NBC, 8:30)- Why not My Name is Earl, you ask? I don't love it. Plus, it'll give me something to watch next summer, when everything else is a repeat. The Office, on the other hand, is a no-brainer. Forget the first episodes where they were trying to mirror the British one. It's a whole new show. Funny!

3) Grey's Anatomy (ABC, 9:00)- In the last two weeks, I've watched all 31 episodes of the series* (I got a credit card and ordered both seasons at an extremely reasonable price). It's a guilty pleasure without guilt. Lorrie forced me to watch this show, and I'm glad she did.

1) Men in Trees (ABC, 9:00)- It wants to be Sex and the City-meets-Northern Exposure. I want that, too. Starring Crazy Anne Heche!

If that's not enough to keep me busy, I'll be forced to finally start jogging. I'd like to thank Adelphia (they're Time Warner now) for allowing me to record these programs - special thanks to my television, which will allow me to experience most of them in high def.

*(I'm trapped in my apartment alone all day. Pathetic or not, TV marathons help make it suck less.)

25 August 2006

life lessons suck

I've learned a valuable lesson today.

Our landlord decided that instead of charging rent weekly, he wanted us to start paying on the first of the month. So over the course of August, we've been in the process of switching over. The month's rent was divided into a per-day rate. On the 6th we were given a balance on what we owed for the rest of the month. We paid $250 of the $400-some-odd we owed, leaving us with a balance of $177-some-odd dollars. Arthur stopped by today, asking for more rent. "You're supposed to be four weeks in advance," he said. "But two weeks ago you told us you wanted us to start paying a month's rent on the 1st from now on, and you gave us a balance to pay to catch us up for August. I paid $250, and we owe $170-some-odd dollars." He was quiet for a minute, and said "let me go figure it out." He went to his apartment to do some math, and I scrambled to find the note he had written, where he spelled out what we owed, and I noted my payment. I was still looking when he came back.

"The difference is $213.69."

No, no it's not, I thought. I said "okay, just a second..." and ran upstairs to check my bank balance. Also to see if maybe the paperwork I now desperately needed was near the computer, or on my dresser. Nope. Not in the breadbox, not in the junk drawer. My only means of proving we didn't owe him this mystical additional $40 was nowhere to be found. I don't know if my face betrayed how angry and frustrated I was. I'm not sure if his math was wrong, or if he is blatantly trying to rob us blind, but it's my own fault. We've been very careless with filing important papers (and mail!). If we had a filing system in place, I wouldn't be paying extra rent right now. If I am, at that. Maybe his math was wrong before, and I would've benefitted from his error. We'll never know for sure, will we? I'm spitting mad, moreso at me than him (though I'm still pretty pissed at him - he took my moment of frantic searching and non-check-writing to restate the amount I needed to make the check out for.)

That's it.

23 August 2006


I suppose it's time to write a new entry. Moderately interesting things have been occuring, but I haven't been able to find the writing mood. Not to mention that everytime I sit to compose e-mail, I wind up regretting it (somehow my e-interactions have been taking place in a brain space where intellect and humor used to sit). No mail is better than bad mail. Ditto when it comes to composing an entry.

I received a credit card. I applied for it because my prior "in case of emergency" option is illegal in most states. I've been doing nothing but paying down debts since last summer, which wound up helping my case considerably. They sent me notification of approval in advance of the card, saying the card itself would arrive a week later. After two and a half weeks, I started worrying. Maybe someone else received the card, and was currently financing a trip to Mexico with it! (Mexico, Maine, that is. No one would ever give me THAT much credit.) I figured I should call the company to make sure it had been sent, or to see if they changed their minds at the last minute, having realized that giving me credit is generally a bad idea. But the paperwork was nowhere. Turns out, Jeremy thinks he might have thrown it away. He has no memory of it, but says he frequently throws away mail that looks junky. I searched the apartment, just in case, and turned up nothing. So the new plan was to hope that the credit card would magically appear in the mailbox. After a few days of nothing, I gave up. I decided to sift through our old mail again, which generally gets stashed in the breadbox. I threw away old utility bills, outdated statements, saved a few necessary items. In the middle of the stack (sandwiched by a few March bills) was a blank envelope with my name on it. Unopened. Just for the hell of it, I opened it. It was MY CREDIT CARD! I never did find the old paperwork, but that's not important. It arrived! It felt like a miracle. We couldn't stop laughing about it.

With credit card in hand, Jeremy and I decided that getting a TV stand and maybe a bigger TV would be good...something to spruce up the place a bit, give it something resembling character (something other than the character of an ancient 19" sitting on top of a tupperware bin). So Saturday we headed to Target in Brunswick (because it's closer and better than the one in South Portland). They had a poor selection of TVs, and no stands that were worth the price they were asking. We thought maybe we'd each find a few necessities there, to warrant the trip. Not so much. Their clothes were nothing that would look humane on me, and Jeremy could find nothing he wanted. We settled on a stack of washcloths (very autumnal washcloths) and Desk Set on DVD. We went to Bookland from there, and left empty-handed. When did I become so fiscally responsible?? Jeremy treated for dinner at Ruby Tuesday afterward, then we headed home.

Sunday we went to Portland. "Maybe South Portland's Target will have a better TV selection," we said. "And we can check Best Buy!" We had an impossibly difficult day, in part because the weather was rainy and miserable. Of course, everyone has to go to the mall when it rains. Seriously, you'd think it was the weekend after Thanksgiving, it was so congested. Absolutely everyone in the mall was an asshole. It didn't help that Jeremy and I have become accustomed to a certain calm relaxity (I made it up, and I like it!) that comes with small town living. It made dealing with the mall that much worse. We quickly left, hoping that the closer it got to 6:00, the less insane it would get. We went to Burger King for lunch, where I can only guess that three people had called out. They had one girl on register, two people in drive-thru, and one person assembling the burgers. I'm sure they couldn't have predicted how busy it was going to be. We were in line for half an hour. I was never mad though, because anyone who's worked at a fast food establishment could feel this girl's pain. Not to mention, people in front of and behind us were loudly displeased. She was going to require the kindness and patience that we planned to give. From there we went to Target, to find nothing. Not much differentiation, it turns out. We quickly left, made a coffee pit stop, and ventured back to the mall. It still sucked, but significantly less. We entered Best Buy modestly. Something a little bigger, and something to put it on. There were a few moderately-priced items that weren't awful. But they looked really heavy. Clearly, we decided, there's no way that would fit in the car. Even if it did, we couldn't possibly get it into the apartment! So for funzies' sake, we looked at flat screen TVs. So light! Pretty, too. Sure, it's over twice as much as we planned to spend, but it comes in a box that looks like a briefcase! I could lift this with one hand! Juggle it! Living within our means only makes sense half the time! Suck it up, and buy something nice that'll last awhile. Think to the future! So we bought it. And a TV stand that would accommodate it. With Jeremy promising I wouldn't have to look at the first credit card statement, I charged the hell out of it. And you know what? It's awesome. Turns out, part of the cable that the cable company doesn't know we have includes high-definition channels (because in case it wasn't assumed, it's a high-def TV). We watched the rainforest in high-def, parts of Sin City, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and Ladyhawke (??!?) in high-def. We were riveted by PBS in high-def's documentary on Tupperware. And there's a show about beavers on Friday that will have to be watched. After we went to bed, all we could talk about was how beautiful the TV was, and the beautiful crap we watched on it. You could actually live in our living room now. I'd say it's worth every penny. After we pay it off, we're thinking we should get a bed.

16 August 2006

dying sucks

One of the first things I saw this morning was an AP article about Bruno Kirby's death. It has effectively ruined my day. He had leukemia I guess. That sucks. I'm going to stop there, because all my kind words for Bruno Kirby sound like jokes, and I'm not intending to be funny. So out of respect, I'm cutting myself off.

Know who else died this year? Peter Tomarken. His plane crashed into Santa Monica Bay. Much like John Ritter, he was a figure I noticed and admired for as long as I can remember. Maureen Stapleton died on the same day...March 13.

Anyway, all this death thought inspired a trip to Wikipedia for a list of who's died this year. LOTS of people are dying. Most of the names aren't familiar to me (which inspires a weird guilt in itself), but there are lots of them. And the causes are varied and, in a surprising number of cases, unfair. For Kirby Puckett, 45-year old baseball player, to die of complications from a stroke? Sucks. Lots of cancer, lots of "complications". Both Ohio's and California's oldest residents died at the age of 112 this year. Bill Cardoso, the guy who coined the word "gonzo", died in February at the age of 68. Doesn't say how. Darrin McGavin (star of Kolchak: The Night Stalker; also known as the dad in A Christmas Story) died at 83 of natural causes on February 25. Actually, I had no idea he was that old. But still, it sucks.

It's never who you'd expect. Rare is the day my mind would turn to Bruno Kirby, or how he's getting along, but I'd never think about the fact that he's going to die. I certainly wouldn't have expected him to die this soon. Someone who'd been long-suffering doesn't sting as much. Johnny Cash, for example (whose death, for me, was overshadowed by John Ritter's (Ritter died September 11, 2003; Cash died September 12)). But maybe Bruno Kirby was suffering. His misfortune just wasn't as newsworthy.

There's one less funny guy in the world. I'll leave it at that.

01 August 2006

america's next top tart

My work schedule this week consists of twelve-hour shifts at the Blueberry Festival, 6 a.m. to 6 p.m. on Friday and Saturday. In the meantime, I have nothing to do. Jeremy decided to work a "Hell Week", which basically means he's taking a shitload of overtime. So he leaves a lot earlier and stays a little later. Unrelated, but noteworthy: we ran out of oil on Saturday, and have reverted back to cold showers until we can get more oil and convince Arthur to come light our pilot light (or whatever it is that needs to be done to the furnace after it's gone bone dry). It's almost charming, since last year at this time we had the exact same problem (but with less cable). And luckily, the next couple of days run the risk of reaching 100 degrees, so cold showers are almost a blessing (while still being really annoying).

Last night I discovered an America's Next Top Model marathon, starting at 11:00 and ending at 9:00 tonight. I've never seen the show, but people who's opinions I tend to respect seem to enjoy it. So my tentative plan is to dress up like a model ("sluttily fashionable". And lots of eye makeup), and, with the poutiest mouth I can muster, watch it. I'm guessing this will be fun for the first four or five hours. By that point I'm hoping to be too hooked to stop watching. Dressing up for television is kind of fun. Sad, too. But that's never stopped me.

Time Warner Cable sent me a letter yesterday to inform me that they were taking over for Adelphia, my current cable provider. I'm not sure what will go into the changeover process, but I'm afraid they're going to realize that we're currently receiving WAY more cable than we're paying for, and will rectify the situation. Probably right before the new season of Real Time w/ Bill Maher (August 25)! I'm hoping they're as clueless as Adelphia. I also need to find out if their rates are different from what we currently pay. Of course, there's no way in hell I'm going to call and let them look at my account!

It's August. I'm already thinking about September, and how ready for it I am.

28 July 2006

brunswick on the prairie

It's funny how much one can learn from a show by concentrated viewing. I've been watching a lot of Little House on the Prairie these past couple of weeks. And tuning in regularly has allowed me something I can't ever remember experiencing - a season-long story arc. Sure, every episode has it's own thing going on, but they also have recurring points and themes. It never occured to me that Little House on the Prairie would bother. It seemed somehow different from most other programs. And I see it in a whole new light. I'm not sure what that light is saying, but I'm still riveted enough to keep recording episodes. I think we're somewhere in season five at the moment. Only a true fan, or the Hallmark channel, could confirm that with any authority. I'm also learning that every member of the cast is related to someone else. For instance, just this morning I learned that the actors that play Albert Ingalls and Andy Garvey are brothers! Know who else is related? Laura Ingalls and Willie Oleson - also siblings! Mrs. Garvey and Mrs. Oleson lived in the same neighborhood and occasionally cared for the same stray dog before working together on the show. The things you can learn from the internet, I tell you!

Yesterday I dropped Jeremy at work and spent the day in Brunswick. If you've never spent a day in an area you don't know that well without making a day's worth of plans, don't. I left Lewiston at 10:30, and got to the Target in Topsham before 11:00. I spent an endless-seeming thirty minutes perusing their wares, trying to kill some time before meeting up with Dan for lunch. I left Target with a shirt, a tiny flippy notebook, and a blank card. I drove around aimlessly, then sat parked and filled out the blank card. Lunch was fun (the coffee was excellent!), and I got to see Dan and Tori's maybe-new house. From there, I dropped Dan off, and attempted to head to Bath. My first time missing the turn, I wound up in Woolwich. I turned around only to miss another turn, and was well on my way to Arrowsic (have I mentioned, I have never heard of either of these towns?). I eventually found my way to "Historic Bath" and parked. I looked around a small bookstore, and was harassed about the environment (it was all fine and good until she found out I had no on-the-spot money to give). I found my way back to the car and tooled around the streets a bit. It was my understanding beforehand that there was a "Good Bath/Bad Bath" differentiation. After experiencing both, I'd have to describe it as "Tourist Bath/Crap Bath". I'm sure it's pleasant in the off-season, but I doubt I could live there.

From there, I went to Cook's Corner, to see if there was a store I could effectively kill another four hours in. I found Bookland, and managed to knock nearly two hours off the afternoon. I bought a book and a newspaper, and headed back to Maine St. in hopes of finding a place to get coffee and read. The one place I had in mind (Frosty's? Frostee's?) closed at 2:00. I walked a bit, and found nothing in the immediate area. So I got back in the car and drove further down, finding the Bohemian Coffee Shop (the only part of the name I'm sure of is "Bohemian"). Parked, went in, and promptly recognized one of the baristas as a spelling bee attendee (couldn't remember his name, and he didn't seem to recognize me, so I didn't bother saying anything). The other barista was surly, and ignored me while helping the two people behind me. Apparently, politely standing with cash in hand and an enthusiastic expression re: coffee isn't going to get you served. My bad, I forgot that enthusiasm isn't very bohemian! When everyone else was gone, the guy asked what I wanted. "Large coffee, please." Long pause..."Hot or cold?" "Hot" (I dropped the please, because it seemed to make him angrier). "$1.75". I paid, did the doctoring, and sat with the paper. I left ten minutes later. It was 4:00. I saw no other choice but another trip to Target (which, for perhaps the first time in my life, wasn't something I was looking forward to), and bought cups and socks. Twenty minutes, if that. I decided to just go back to Lewiston, and sit and read until Jeremy got out at 7:00. The Devil Wears Prada helped pass the time. (It was cheap, and I was curious - so far, so good). Jeremy got out, we went to the Tin Tin Buffet, where I ate way too many desserts, then proceeded home. For the most part, I couldn't call my day "successful", but I'm not dissuaded from a potential move.

More thunderstorming just started (this seems to be a daily occurrence - what's it all mean, Al?). More later.

25 July 2006

anger and perfection

It's always hardest to write when there are things to write about. Not things of interest to the general public really, but things that would benefit my mental health to jot down. But since when has senility been any fun? In a nutshell, I've decided not to take the job. Not that anyone of power has brought it up since last time I wrote. Since being offered the assistant manager position, I've started really despising my job. Then I'd go home, and despise my life, only to go to bed and despise sleeping. And I couldn't justify or explain the anger. Nor could I pinpoint what had pissed me off so severely. The fact is, whether it makes sense or not, I've only stayed at this job because I haven't had any other options. The plan has always been to quit after I got a car. And, since the job requires me to have a car, staying doesn't make sense. People aren't going to understand not taking it for experience's sake, or just to make more money. But I can't be pissed off all the time. It's not worth it.

Okay. Better. Now, let's bullet the last month:
-found a car for Jeremy, but it didn't pan out. It would've been a '98 Dodge Stratus, gold in color. Liken it to a cardigan, if cardigans were drivable.
-went to Game Night at Jim & Jhawn's. Lost at Trivial Pursuit, had some good food and drink, and a fun time with friendly folks. And someone almost saw my hoo-hoo.
-decided to move to Brunswick area after all...but when? Fall?

Huh. I guess it's been a dull month for bullet-worthy news. I had another bulletable point, but it seemed a little too wordy for bulleting. Jeremy and I had a perfect day on July 19th. We started the day with candlepin bowling in Rumford. We were the only people there, and we bowled five strings a piece. We then spent a good fifteen minutes talking with Evie (EH-vee), the older lady who was working that afternoon. She directed us to the Free Shop in Mexico, where you go in, take stuff and leave. It's FREE! We gave a fifty cent donation, as not to be complete and total assholes, and came away with a couple shirts, a few books, and a Texas tin platter. We drove back home and grabbed swimsuits, and found a swimming area in Wilton, where we swam (go figure.). We had a late lunch out at the Chuck Wagon, the Livermore Falls restaurant that outdates any other local business in the area. Ribs were consumed, decor was appreciated, and we went home full. Later that evening our standing Project Runway guest came over to watch Project Runway. (there was no easier way to word that. sorry.) A perfect day.

28 June 2006

life, right?!

Yesterday was many things. Here, a list!

1) My 4 1/2th dating anniversary. Happy Dating!
2) One year ago yesterday, we left Washington. One year ago this morning, we were finishing a complimentary continental breakfast in Butte, Montana. Or was it Billings? CRAP! I think it was Butte. It must've been Butte.
3) Our plans changed.

Yeah. So Jeremy had called out of work yesterday...no fantastic reason, but we enjoyed a day together. We watched Hoosiers and Mask (both movies I'd never seen - can I say, I'm officially a fan of Gar). I got a phone call early yestreday afternoon from Tami, who requested I go see her at the store immediately. I figured maybe she had finally nailed down a raise amount (because my review was Monday...I did good...maybe 25 cents more per hour!). Apparently, our new district manager had stopped in for a surprise visit. The store fared quite well, actually. She told Tami that she made an assistant manager position for the Jay and Farmington stores to share. No revenue class jumping necessary, because each store would have the assistant no more than 20 hours per week.

Guess who Tami recommended for the position.

In the middle of July sometime, I'll be filling out paperwork, maybe passing a background check, taking a math test, and training a week in Waterville to become the Jay/Farmington Assistant Manager. I will get a hefty raise (I really want to say how much, but I'm learning it's classier not to), be working full time, have a benefits package I don't pay for, vacations, holidays, sick time! etc.

Of course, I was very excited. At first. By the time I got back to the apartment, I started realizing that this position might be the start of a lucrative career with Movie Gallery, the problem being that I've wanted to quit my job from the day I was hired. A feeling of having failed at life settled over me. If I take the job, will I ever be anything other than an ASM for a retail movie chain? It would virtually eliminate any chance to finish my degree (I'm not sure if what I've heard about credits expiring after 10 years is true or not, but fall of '07 will be a decade beyond my first semester). So we went for a drive, because driving helps. And we came up with a plan.

I'm going to accept the job offer. This means we're going to remain in Jay for awhile longer. In the meantime, I'm going to apply to Orono again, hopefully to enroll for the fall 2007 semester. If I get accepted, I'll have put in a year as ASM, two years total with the company, and can guiltlessly move to Orono to finish my degree. If they don't take me, then we'll see what happens. Maybe we'll move to Brunswick!

19 June 2006

move on - i stopped thinking 17 degrees ago

On this day in 1997, I graduated high school. Exciting stuff.

This past weekend was all about changed plans. There were several things we could've done. For one, camping. Camping was the reason I had the weekend off in the first place. Camping was also the reason we didn't attend our second weekend option: Liam's 1st birthday party. We did neither. But we managed to have a pretty cool (NOT literal - 90+ degrees and humid is not what I would call cool...figuratively or literally) weekend.

We were both up early on Saturday morning, and thought we'd hunt down a few yard sales in the area. Once we were in the car, we instead decided to head toward Rumford. There wasn't a lot to be seen on the 18 some-odd miles of US-2, but it was a nice drive. We eventually found ourselves in Mexico, at a library book sale. They had free coffee and doughnuts. Not a whole lot to offer bookwise, but I came away with two summerworthy reads (after two munchkins and a big cup of coffee, I had to buy something!) We continued to Rumford, where we found a church rummage sale in its last hours. Fill a bag for $2? HELL YES! We left with books, shirts, two VERY cool games, silverware, etc. From there we went to Rumford's Business District. Not a lot to do really, but it made for a nice walk. After that we went back to Mexico for lunch at The Covered Wagon. We were the only customers there. It was fantastic. Our server was delightful, our food was awesome, and the decor was enviable (if you're into the whole wagon motif). Then we went home to drink beer and play one of our new acquisitions, The Omega Virus.

It's too hot to type. Sunday, very quickly, we were expecting company who had to cancel last-minute. We took to the road again, this time toward Skowhegan (for ice cream. Why not, right?) once we got there, we decided instead to keep driving. We went south on 201 until we hit Brunswick. We got Indian food for dinner (very good!), and went to Target, where I purchased work-appropriate shorts. Then we headed home. OH! And we almost ran over a turtle crossing the road. If you're a turtle crossing a busy highway, you're begging to get run over. He must've been desperate to get to the other side. It's kind of inspiring, actually.

And now, I'm going to take a nap in the fridge.

15 June 2006


I have a new boyfriend. I just found out this morning! He, Tami and I went out last night. He's smart and funny, short (never a problem), and turns six in September. Did that fool anyone, even for a minute? Tami took Trevor to Wal*Mart and Pizza Hut last night to celebrate getting good grades on his report card, and she invited me along. Needless to say it was very fun. This morning, while walking the plaza, I learned how big an impression I made. Apparently Trevor made Tami take pictures of him with his wrestling figures to give to me. Also, he's in the process of writing me a "love letter". I guess five year olds think I'm cool! It's the magic age that thinks everything I say is funny and interesting. So when I become rich and famous, I'm thinking I'm going to need an entourage of kindergarteners with me at all times. Perhaps my blueberry stoli recipe will net me more than just the respect of alcoholics - I'll get the adoration of the Barney set!

Also last night, Jeremy and I happened upon a Great Performances of interest - Bill Irwin, Clown Prince. Jeremy let me watch it. It totally made my night. I could watch Bill Irwin knit a sweater and be entertained. In an ideal world, my job would be to do what Bill Irwin does. Physical comic/clown/mime, with class. I could go on, but I'm the only one who'd care to read seven more paragraphs of "Bill Irwin rocks HARD! I (heart) him!"

I work 9-3 today. Hot Fed Ex Guy is going to be delivering a package to the store. Tami wants me to ask him if he's single. I promised her nothing, since I'm not a blatant flirter. I did tell her that if he brought her up by name, I'd dig a little. That's what friends are for.

14 June 2006

liquor up!

Very briefly, I'll sum up the end of the carnival: Saturday's weather resulted in fewer hours of operation, so they stayed until Sunday. Sunday was partly sunny. I couldn't convince Jeremy to come along. By the time we finally got to the plaza (we were going to pick up dinner foods and ride a ride), they had started shutting down. It was only 5:00 p.m. So my last entry sums up my entire carnival experience.

I can't remember what I was looking at yesterday, but I found a link to blueberry stoli. I clicked on the link because "hey, yum! blueberry stoli!" After arriving at the blueberry stoli site, I learned of the drink contest. Invent a drink, submit it, and the winner gets...not a whole lot, actually. Recognition. A name and the drink recipe printed in the company-sponsored drink book. But still, talk about fun! I'd love to share my ideas (because obviously I'm going to do it), but I'd hate to give away my creative edge.

I have today off. I know I'm going to wash the dishes at some point. Other than that, it's all up in the air. I'll probably grab a few movies. Maybe I'll read one of my library books. In all likelihood, I'll listen to podcasts and play Feeding Frenzy 2. Oh, and I'll celebrate the flag. I'll knit the flag a commemorative sweater, or eat a pudding pop in its honor. Happy Flag Day!

10 June 2006

awesome friday

I filled a hole in Tami's shift yesterday, a 2:30-5:00. Easy money. I had time to re-arrange and start shifting the gallery, and at 4:00 the customers came. From the highest mountains to the lowest valleys, everyone wanted movies. I had quite a line. Everyone was in good spirits, and the carnival served as easy small-talk. At 5:00, the evening shift arrived. It had yet to rain, and Tami and I decided to head out to the parking lot to ride a ride. We went on a hand glider contraption that goes in circles, where we control how high or low we went. Our co-riders were a group of 7-9 year old girls. From there, having survived the family-friendly ride without vomiting, we headed to the "ferris wheel of death". Not what it's actually called, but looking at it, one would easily identify the ride I'm talking about. Tami and I were the only people on it. After loading us in and securing us, the ride started. After one pass, they stopped the ride and told us they were going to put us in a different cage...one that would go upside down. Oh joy. So we were moved from a cage that had a sway to it but maintained an upright position, to one with no sway, meaning that by the time we reached the top of the wheel we'd be 100% upside down.

I should mention that Tami and I went directly from work to the carnival in full Movie Gallery attire. The fact that we clearly worked in the plaza, coupled with Tami being somewhat of a carny magnet, meant that all the handlers (or engineers, as one carny identified himself to be..."I'm not a carny, you know. I'm a mechanical engineer. I just travel with the fair part-time". Sure, carny. Sure.) felt the need to...I don't know. Get us. Make us puke. Make us giggle. But primarily, the puke part. I guess we were a novelty in our matching red polos and khaki pants. Not to mention being the oldest people at that point riding rides. So when we switched cages on the FWOD, their fun began. We handled upside-down like pros. Having not made us scream or cry, the carnies started slowing the ride down once we hit the top, leaving us upside down and virtually immobile, just dangling in the sky. Boobs flopping about, hair mussed, foreheads ready to burst. It was crazy. Tears were streaming down our faces from laughing so hard. After a few rounds, they brought us back down. Before letting us out, Carny Jr. reactivated the spin mechanism and hand-spun our cage ultrafast. He then stopped on a dime, and spun us in the opposite direction (forward to back, then back to forward). Ugh! We survived. The ticket handler commented on our lack of screaming. We told him we were awesome.

Surviving the FWOD perhaps made us a bit too cocky, a touch too confident. The apple ride I referred to the other day, "Spin the Apple"is pretty much like the teacup ride, but on a smaller scale. That, and you're actually inside a hollowed out apple. So the only open air you see is a window-sized square near the entrance. Anyway, we overspun right off the bat. Suddenly there was a very real danger of yakking. We stopped our apple and rode out the ride just going in a circle. But the damage was done. The apple ride, perhaps the family-friendliest contraption of the lot, wrecked us. We went back into the store and hid in Tami's office, waiting for the spinning to stop. We were officially done with the carnival for the night.

It's raining today, but it's lightened up considerably since 9:00 a.m. So they're possibly opening things up at 3:00 today, and I think Jeremy and I are going to check it out. I have yet to go on the La Kermesse ride, and I could use another piece of fried dough.

09 June 2006

food, fun, and falling down

It's supposed to rain all weekend. Through Monday, actually. It certainly rained hard and long yesterday, the first day of the canival. I'm not sure if it even opened, technically. It hasn't rained yet today, but the day is still young. I'm going to have to check it out. So needless to say, I haven't been yet. And there's a chance that I, and the town of Jay, are going to miss out. Sucky.

Wednesday, after finishing my last entry, I decided to re-arrange the furniture in the living room. I was excited and motivated and ready to move couches. It was then that I fell down the stairs. All of them. Top to bottom, level two to level one. My injuries would've been minor had I not extended both arms to grasp at the railings in an attempt to stop myself. I ended up unnaturally yanking both arms out of their sockets. It slowed me down, but as soon as I let go, I proceeded to fall the rest of the way down. I bruised my legs, pulled countless muscles, and had rug burn on my palms. Good times. It made yesterday's inventory shift a lot more interesting.

Actually, inventory went fast. We were both in extreme pain for various reasons, but we were efficient, and tackled the work like pros. The big scan was done around 1:00, and the three passes (a record for us!) were complete around 2:00. I was home early. It was too fast and too easy to be inventory. We had iced coffee and muffins. We didn't walk the plaza, because we were getting up early as it was...neither of us wanted to get up at 5:00 to allow for exercise befor counting every item in the store. This morning we skipped on walking because of the threat of rain. Perhaps I'll jog in place a bit in exchange...the next best thing!

Jeremy was home yesterday. After my early work day, we went to the library to return/renew my books, and select more. I kept "Home Comforts" for another cycle, because I am still inspired to homemake with every chapter I complete. I also picked up Stephen King's On Writing, a book of Annie Proulx stories (Bad Dirt: Wyoming Stories 2) and Susan Susanka's The Not So Big House (because as of recent I'm into finding pictures of rooms I like, and storing them away to maybe one day build the ideal home). Jeremy grabbed, among other things, E.B. White's One Man's Meat, and I'm going to have to read it. Because I looked at a chunk of it, and it's great. We also had a present in our mailbox - Kansas City! The first of our vacation brochures arrived. There were lots of additional leaflets, a "Discover KC" discount card, and a map. It looks like a pretty happening city. Most entertaining was a series of "Halloweekends" at one of the big amusement parks. For example, "Camp Gonnagitcha Witchahatchet." And one we'd have no choice but to bring Jim to, "The Carnival of Carnivorous Clowns." Once we'd finished looking at books and mail, we decided on an evening of food and film. We went to the Farmington Diner for too much breakfast, and caught the 9:35 show of Mission: Impossible 3. It was great!

And with that, I'm going to go start my day.

07 June 2006

franco-american-inspired nostalgia

Last night the carnies set up a ferris wheel, but with death cages attached to the ends, replacing the more traditional seating. The granny smith apple from yesterday is now four apples: two red, two green, and they supposedly spin. It hasn't been set up yet, so I'm still in the dark as to how it's going to work. There's a kiddie-size scrambler, a ride I forget the name to but rode once at La Kermesse in 1987 (like a wire tire that you are strapped into, then it lifts up and spins), and lots of carny trailers. It's a nice little set-up, but I'm hoping there's more to it. Because if the carnival is comprised of nothing other than what's already there, I am going to have a hard time spending three days at it. I'll do it, but it'll be tough.

La Kermesse...1986 was my first year. We were living in Biddeford at the time. Fun. French. I think it was the next year that my Brownie troop was in the parade. We all got to dress in costumes. I was Mama from Mama's Family - I thought I was so awesome (who am I kidding...I was TOTALLY awesome!). The year that I rode the wire wheel of terror was the year that Lorrie got lost on the fairgrounds. A former teacher of mine, and Lorrie's then-current teacher, Mrs. McPhail, found her. That was also the night I learned that Mrs. McPhail smoked...it made me feel awkward, since at that age, and for many years after that, cigarettes were "devil sticks", consumed by bad people who did bad things. I can only imagine that it was a tiring brainwashing campaign on my mother's part. I was severely reprimanded for holding a candy cigarette when I was five, and since then, I can't come in contact with cigarettes without being overwhelmed with nauseating guilt. Lorrie doesn't have that problem. Not that she smokes, because she doesn't. But she has, at least once. She doesn't break out into a rash or have a panic attack when her best friend asks her to pick up a package of cigarettes for her (another story altogether. I did it, but at a cost to my mental well-being). She also never ended up arguing with another friend who wanted her to simply put a clove cigarette against her lips to taste the cinnamon (I couldn't do it even if I wanted to!) I have nothing against people who smoke. I have no qualms when people who smoke want to smoke in my presence. But I have no control over the resulting sadness.

Where the hell did all that come from? I'm cut off! More blogging later.

05 June 2006

i invent a social anxiety disorder and learn to use "myriad" in a sentence

Making a schedule is HARD. I spent four hours on Sunday attempting to cover shifts fairly, without exceeding our allotted hourage. It helped my shift pass, and once I finished, I felt extremely contented. There's nothing like hard work to make you appreciate things. Today was pretty crazy, too. The whole layout of the store needs to be revamped, requiring shifting and transferring and cleaning. The day flew. It's going to be a good week. I work tomorrow, Wednesday off, Thursday is inventory, Friday off. I was supposed to work Saturday morning, but Tami took the shift so I could come in Sunday night to help finish implementing the merchandising changes. This means two carnival days are completely work-free. The carnies have already started filtering in. This morning we saw a piece of a funhouse (or possibly a fake jail) in the dirt lot to the left of the plaza. There was another object, resembling a really big granny smith apple, which I can only assume is a people-sized fondue pot. Very exciting.

I think I'm bipeoplar. That's not a typo, I just made it up. By which I mean as of quite recently, I either am delighted to be in the presence of others, or freaked out. This evening I'm freaked out. It's like...like when your feet are being tickled, but it doesn't tickle good; it tickles bad. Like irritation, but without being irritable. It's the two extremes. I'm not sure if small town living is doing it to me, or if it's age, or who knows what else. Bipeoplar.

After watching a special on Loretta Lynn's Haunted Plantation last night (and after having recently seen Coal Miner's Daughter for the first time), Jeremy and I decided that it might be time for another trip to the south. I excitedly suggested we request travel brochures from various states and major cities. So that's exactly what we did. Half in Jeremy's name, half in mine, all due to start arriving in 10-15 business days. If you've never had random vacation guides sent to you en masse, I highly recommend it. I haven't done anything like this since 2000...I had an atlas or gazeteer, or some kind of travel book with pages of coupons in the back. All you had to do was put your name and address, and drop them in the mail. I sent a few to friends, and saved the majority for myself. It didn't result in a vacation, but, at least for me, sometimes thinking about the vacation is good enough. Planning adventures is almost as good as taking them. Anyway, what was I saying? Yes. There are a myriad* of eateries we'd like to patronize, along with some killer scenery. There are other things, but I can't tell you what they are until our catalogs get here.

*Usage Note: Throughout most of its history in English myriad was used as a noun, as in a myriad of men. In the 19th century it began to be used in poetry as an adjective, as in myriad men. Both usages in English are acceptable, as in Samuel Taylor Coleridge's “Myriad myriads of lives.” This poetic, adjectival use became so well entrenched generally that many people came to consider it as the only correct use. In fact, both uses in English are parallel with those of the original ancient Greek. The Greek word mrias, from which myriad derives, could be used as either a noun or an adjective, but the noun mrias was used in general prose and in mathematics while the adjective mrias was used only in poetry.

About the tiny paragraph above here? I checked with dictionary.com about my usage of myriad, because I wasn't sure if making it a noun was accurate, and managed to learn something interesting. I just thought I'd share.